Two Lanes Will Take Us Anywhere

The power of shaming. Sara did duly send me some snippets, one of which confirmed that it would indeed be illegal to drive with one's wing mirrors detached or in some way not meeting the requirements. The local driving theory book - in its English version, it must be pointed out - is full of "requirements", "obligations" and so on, which suggests it was originally written in fact by a German. Anyway, perhaps the most important thing to emerge has to do with roundabouts, the negotiation of which - for anyone who has ever attempted this here - is open to considerable interpretation as to precisely what one should do. So, here we go, and definitely wake up at the back because this is important stuff.

Right, you have two lanes going towards a roundabout. Let's assume, for one moment, that it is the Pointed Thing, some say Fish Hook Roundabout at the great Muro-Alcúdia divide, itself a roundabout of two lanes - theoretically at any rate - and that you are coming from Can Picafort. Now, the left exit goes to Palma and Sa Pobla, and that is where you want to go. So, the question is this. In which lane do you approach the roundabout and then remain as you circumnavigate the Pointed Thing?

If you have said the left-hand lane, you would be wrong, because it's the right. But for those of you with hands-on or should that be wheels-on experience of this particular roundabout, you will know that virtually no-one follows this procedure. I include myself in this. Indeed, those who do cause considerable confusion (see below). Yet, here is the evidence:

"As the exits are situated on the right (by which it means, one presumes, that you leave a roundabout by turning right), the driver must, as a general rule, situate himself in the right hand lane in order to exit. The exit must always take place using the right turn signal (indicating right) in advance but ensuring that no confusion is caused to other road users."

All clear? Well, of course, it isn't thanks, in particular, to that marvellous caveat "as a general rule". Anything that explains itself by reference to "as a general rule" can of course be interpreted in an entirely different way. One should also note the second brackets in the above, which are from the book and are not my own. They contain the mysterious word "indicating". For you and I this might well be understandable, but local Mallorcan folk would struggle even with a Catalan translation of the word. It comes as something of a surprise that the act of indicating is even mentioned, especially as it is intended to ensure that "no confusion is caused to other road users", because the creation of maximum confusion has always seemed to me to be uppermost in the minds of those using local roundabouts. And the indication "using the right turn signal" does seem to rather contradict convention which is, when the indicator is used at all, to signal left.

Still, I am immensely grateful to Sara, and I'm sure you will all wish to thank her as well and to wish her great success with her driving lessons. And may she always, as a general rule, exit using her right turn signal.


One wonders, still on matters of an automotive nature, whether those taking part in the Classic Car Rally are subject to the same rules, or absence of the rules of the Mallorcan road as others. It is a not unimportant issue because, as mentioned before, the Top Gear boys are going to be hacking around the tarmac of the island this year, and one would hate for them to fall foul of Trafico. Were they to do so might cast a shadow over what otherwise should prove to be a very positive thing for Mallorca. Top Gear has not only a large audience in the UK, it is has a worldwide following. It all does rather depend, though, on how much coverage there is and of what. Meanwhile, "The Bulletin" says that, following its breaking of the news that Clarkson and his chums were on their way, the British community has been "thrown into a frenzy". Perhaps I am one of those because a frenzy means a state of mental derangement, and, along with all British expats, I am mentally deranged as a consequence of knowing that Jeremy Clarkson will be in Mallorca. Actually, this frenzy has been a "long list of people wishing to get involved". And you could just about have predicted it - all manner of bloody wannabes and hangers-on will be wishing to grab a piece of the action. The expat socialite set will be seeking to decamp from their normal places of vacuity for some photo ops with Jezza and co. Platinum blondes of wrinkly brownness tottering in a Barbara Windsor manner atop non-sensible twin towers of Jimmy Choo's accompanied by their husbands - the Blingmaster Flashes. I trust that Clarkson will bring with him his sharpest of pens.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Whitney Houston (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiJ_2zQYUFg). Today's title - comes from what is considered one of his finest; he's a bossy sort and the song has a weather element.

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