Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

At times of recession, it is reassuring to know that certain sectors of employment appear to be not just buoyant but are also enjoying some growth. I read somewhere that Mallorca could offer the world its expertise in tourism and thus make this an export business. That sounds too much like hard work for most Mallorcans. Far better that they stick to something that they are just as expert at but which requires virtually no effort. I am thinking of the current growth in ... road works' stop-and-go-sign men. Of course, the number of stop-and-go-sign men is directly proportional to the number of road works, and I am glad to say that, despite economic woes, the normal Mallorcan winter of holes, mechanical diggers and tarmac is unaffected, thus giving rise to the employment of the stop-and-go-sign men. I am wondering, though - how does one become a stop-and-go-sign man? Is there a course? A City and Guilds or something? A mite tedious I will grant you, but so long as the weather's reasonable or you can keep yourself well wrapped up, it seems like a pretty decent way of spending a winter. Here comes a car, I know, let's get the stop sign out and then wait for half and hour and see what sort of a queue can form.

Not too far from me, one can admire the art, or is it science, of the stop-and-go-sign man. Near to the entrance to the reception to Albufera, they are building a roundabout; yet another roundabout. For an island that, until fairly recently, could boast but one roundabout (in Palma), there has been a roundabout annexation of lebensraum proportions. Has the environmental group GOB ever complained about the number of roundabouts? Not as far as I am aware, and yet the landscape has been transformed by them. The Carretera Artà that runs through Puerto Alcúdia and Playa de Muro is now a circle of roundabouts - largish ones, smallish ones, ones with sculptures on, ones that are only painted onto the surface of the road and are therefore ignored. All manner of roundabout existence is to be found on this road, and yet more appear. A question is whether there is to also be an increase in the employment of Trafico cops. The more roundabouts there are, the more police they need to stand by them.


And another form of employment that's bearing up under the strain of economic hard times is that of the winter beach cleaning corps. My ancient Mallorcan neighbours may consider the beach back of us "un desastre" (as I explained the other day), but it has since been cleared of much of its rubbish - all part of the 600,000 euros that is spent on keeping the beaches of Mallorca and the Balearics clean (or reasonably clean) over the winter months. This beach cleaning is not something as crude as a whacking great bulldozer scooping up sand, bamboo and seaweed. No. They treat the beaches more delicately. I was watching the chaps the other day. They were using what was the equivalent of a rake. I'm not kidding. A rake. The beach between Alcúdia and Can Picafort stretches for what - ten, eleven kilometres? And they're using a rake. No bloody wonder it costs 600 grand.


Meanwhile ... You might think that the heavy snows in the UK offer an excuse to utilities not working correctly, and you would - up to a point - be correct. There is no excuse here. Calm weather, nothing unusual. Seven in the evening. No water. This is not unusual. And no, this is not a case of oh this is Spain. What this is, is crap. This is incompetent. And of course, as it is after two in the afternoon, there is no-one manning the phones at the water company, which is FUSOSA. Well, make a note. This is the emergency mobile, which is only obtainable an answer machine at one of the main numbers. You will need it if you live in Playa de Muro - 676 454 423. Muppets.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - The Who (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyv_65o1HDY). Today - from The Who to ...?

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