Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Haircut (1 to) 100

Haircuts. I'm telling you it is a matter of some importance. It is a matter that tends to categorise - by hairstyle (or its absence) - the type of business. This all started to occur to me as I was waiting at a pedestrian crossing in Puerto Pollensa, and the "sailies" from Sail & Surf were meandering across the road. The guys who do sailing and surfing tend to all be of a hair demeanour of what someone once described to me as "freaky". This is hair of an unruly nature, tangled by salt, blonded by sun and invariably long. It is also hair which, once away from the surf, acquires the accessory of a pair of sun shades. The "surfie" look and hair can also be viewed in uncovered mokes or jeeps, and with the hair tossed not by the sea but by the wind, adding further to the unkempt designer-scruffiness-cum-casualness of the rare acquaintance with a comb.

At the other end of the scale is the British bar look. This is absence of hair. The Phil Mitchell. The number one. Totally slaphead or with a slap stubble. It is hairstyle of association as, observe much of the male British tourist stock, and you become aware that it has undergone a form of cloning whereby the scalp is devoid of much in the way of follicle. The Brit tourist may like his bar, lager and chips, but he also likes to view a shiny pate across the counter. Put a surfie behind the bar, and the same tourist would be thrown into a confusion of non-empathetic head furniture, and probably walk out. I have a new idea for British bars and their marketing: "We have number ones". I tell you they'd flock in.

Then there is the Spanish lothario hair gear. This is often the pony-tail. It's a kind of Spanish footballer-meets-bar-terrace-meets-nice-girlie-from-a-northern-European-country look. None of your appealing to the male tribalism of an Eastenders rogue, this is pure advertising of a come-and-get-me-girls nature.

Finally, there is the truly and utterly bizarre. The what-the-hell is that on your head look. I will not mention the restaurant or the guy, but it is a restaurant in the port area of Alcúdia. It is the "Eraserhead" style. A full-on pompadour. And if you don't know to what I am referring, here is a Wikipedia that shows Jack Nance from the film - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraserhead. If anyone can guess correctly the name of the restaurant, then there is a prize of a Jack Nance at the hairdresser of my choice.

Now of course this is male hair. But for the ladies, notably the British bar ladies, there is but one word - blonde.

Steppenwolf was a novel by Hermann Hesse, who wrote a poem entitled ...? Think blonde and ambition. Suzi Quatro was "Can The Can". And today also - Haircut 100. Why does the number one have a strong association with this group?


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