Posters

Posters, posters. Today I am poster boy. Or rather, yesterday I was. Posters for this. Posters for that. Some arty, most not. The Beata poster looks like art but without close inspection is just a mess and mass of reds and browns. Ignore it. Most people probably do, unless they're Mallorcan. Thousands of people lined the streets of Santa Margalida on Sunday - it says in the reports - but it is unlikely that they needed a brown and red poster to attract them; they knew of the event in any event. The poster for the Alcúdia Ye-Ye, now also a thing of the past. What is "ye-ye" exactly. She loves you, ye, ye, ye perhaps. Or oh ye of so little faith, if you have no time for the religious outpouring of Beata. Beata or Beatles. Who went to the Ye-Ye unless they were alcudienc? Who knew about it? They may have seen the poster but it didn't register. Steve from Little Britain passed me. There's that poster in the shop. A policeman dropped one by, just left it, without so much as a by-your-leave, a hello or a goodbye. Yea, yea, ye, ye, it's a poster, the one about the illegal street selling. It's in Castilian as well as Catalan. No sign on the sign of English or German. Who will register it among the tourism throngs? It's just window-dressing, thinks I. It shows that they're doing something, something being a poster. It is window-dressing because it's in the window of the shop. From the boot of the car I take the Ye-Ye poster and the Mercadets d'Estiu poster. The town hall had given them to me. What was I to do with them? They'll just end up in the blue paper recycling container. What would anyone do with them, unless they are Mallorcan? What is a mercadet d'estiu to a tribe of tourists from Tottenham or Thüringen? It is in fact a small summer market, the pictures just about give it away. But who would know what "jocs" are? A load of Scots spelt incorrectly?

Why do they do all this? Well, the answer is obvious. But where is the publicity aimed at everyone else, all those tourists? Does anyone actually stop and think? And then there is a poster for 10 September. What day is that? It's the Alcúdia day of the tourist, the climax to it being an appropriate gathering of the poor man's tourism experience - tribute acts, a Queen and a Jackson, but no Beatles: ye, ye, ye; no, no, no. Why must there be a day of the tourist? Is every day not a day of the tourist? But at least it's in English - after a fashion. "We wait 4 U," it says. SMS posters. Someone thought: let's be contemporary, funky, in touch with the tourist inner youth and texter. But wait - what is this "wait"? What does it mean? It's that verb. "Esperar". It translates in different ways - wait for, expect, hope. We expect you. That's a command. You don't command tourists to do anything. We hope (you will come). If you hope, you don't expect, except that expect can imply different expectations; it is not only a command. We wait for you, therefore. How long? Does nothing happen until the tourists turn up, the ones they hope for or expect? Does anyone actually stop and think what they're saying on these posters, even when they do them in English. Even if it were the right word, the grammar's wrong.

Posters, posters. Thousands of euros. Thousands of sheets of paper. Printers in business. Designers in business. And probably some useless translator in business, too. And much of it a total waste of effort.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Shakira, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzik1Z6A6xY. Today's title - from the debut album of an Hawaiian soft rocker.

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