The Rudest Town In Mallorca

Has a small town in Mallorca been thrown an unexpected means of becoming internationally famous and of developing its own tourism? It would take some doing admittedly, but were a globetrotting tourist of a mind to travel to all parts of the globe, he or she could do so on the basis of visiting places that boast (if this is the right word) vaguely rude names. Or names that aren't vaguely rude but are in fact extraordinarily rude.

All of which brings us to a small town in Mallorca with slightly more than 1,000 inhabitants and barely a whiff of tourism. It is the only town on the island, the only town in the Balearics and only one of three in the whole of Spain which has been nominated by a Mr. Gary Gale as having a sufficiently rude name to qualify it for inclusion in Mr. Gale's masterwork of a world map with rude place names. The town is? You might have guessed it already. It is of course Búger.

If I were the councillor at Búger town hall (and there is a town hall, despite the town's small size) who is responsible for tourism, then I would be setting in motion a publicity campaign to attract tourists to the only town in Mallorca with a rude name. Tourism can always benefit from uniqueness, and Búger can genuinely claim to be unique - in Mallorca at any rate. Of course, there may not be a councillor responsible for tourism in Búger. As there isn't any obvious tourism, then why would there be? But now there is a very good reason for there to be. Forget the promotion of rural Mallorca, here comes rude Mallorca. And it's only to be found in Búger.

There is a slight drawback with all this, one of which Mr. Gale may be unaware, and that is the pronunciation. It isn't as he might think it is. Or indeed as mostly every tourist who passes a road sign with Búger thinks it is. But now, thanks to Mr. Gale, that the town has been put on the map (or a map), consideration should be given to amending the pronunciation and possibly also the spelling. A second "g" would certainly help things along.

Another slight drawback is that, were Búger to attempt to cash in on its new-found fame, it wouldn't exactly have a great deal to offer. This is probably why it doesn't already boast a thriving tourism industry. Anyone going there takes one look, which requires all of about a couple of minutes, and says, "well, bugger me, is that all there is to it?", assuming they are an English-speaker of course.

And this leads to yet another slight drawback. True international fame would only be possible were the name understandable, in its full rudeness, to those from other nations. The Germans, for example, would be unmoved by the name, though it would appear, if one can believe Google Translate (always a dangerous thing to do), that the Danes and the Norwegians would be moved. Perhaps a Dane or a Norwegian can confirm this. 

Spain performs pretty badly when it comes to rude place names, so all the more reason for Búger to draw attention to some rare Spanish rudeness. The two other places on the rude map are both in Asturias. Poo and Pis, neither of which, I confess, I had ever heard of before. But Asturias can claim to be the rudest region of Spain, so it needs to get cracking on its own tourism marketing.

If the globetrotting tourist preferred to stay at home (home being Britain), then there are innumerable places for him or her to visit. Bell End, Brown Willy, Shyte Brook. How evocative they all sound. I seem to recall having been to Lord Herefords Knob in Powys, though I can't say I remember much about it, but I've never been to Andrews Knob in Cheshire. But then I wouldn't, would I. And this same tourist could always nip across the Irish Sea to take in a few places of rude note. I am pleased to see that the home town of one of Alcúdia's more famous Irishmen and partner in a well-known excursions operator is featured on Mr. Gale's map. Muff.

Mallorca's alternative tourism, as in tourism which isn't sun and beach, has overlooked tourism based on rude or stupid names or a name that has been taken from a Blue Peter dog. (And it isn't Shep.) There must be some others, but for now Búger can hold its head up high, proud in the knowledge that it is Mallorca's rudest place.

To see the map, go to: http://maps.geotastic.org/rude/


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.