Sunday, February 10, 2013

Holiday Truth Team

New to BBC tonight, "Holiday Truth Team", presented by Anneka Rice, Phil Tufnell and Kimberley from Girls Aloud, discovers the REAL TRUTH about Mediterranean holiday hotspots. In the first edition, the Truth Team travel to Mallorca and reveal the DARK SECRETS of one of the island's most notorious resorts - Puerto Pollensa.

(Anneka): "Mallorca. A holiday paradise for drunkenness and debauchery. Loved by thousands, millions of holidaymakers who flock here each summer in order to be violently sick or just simply violent, Mallorca faces a CRISIS. Its reputation is being dragged down by a resort which gives the whole island a bad name. Puerto Pollensa is that resort."

(Kimberley): "We are standing by the velvety white sands of the main beach in Puerto Pollensa. It is here that we begin to find out just why Puerto Pollensa is threatening the WHOLE FUTURE of holidaymaking in Mallorca."

(Phil): "What is so SHOCKING about this beach is that there are families doing nothing more than enjoying the turquoise sea. Swimming. Building sandcastles. Playing cricket - Oi! Can I have a bowl? Tee-hee."

(Anneka): "And not just families. Couples, older people as well. All of them being DISGRACEFULLY well-mannered. Some are even refusing to urinate when they go into the sea." 

(Kimberley): "We found that this behaviour is threatening people's LIVELIHOODS. Like members of the local police."

(Phil): "It's just gone midnight, and we've been out on patrol with Juan and Juan. And now we're back at the police station, having a cuppa." (Juan): "Is like this all the time. These tourists, they never do nothing bad. There is nothing for us to do." (Juan): "Is so bad, the mayor, he say, we no make police jobs. I have family. What I do? The tourists. They go bed by eleven."

(Anneka): "And we discovered that this was TRUE. Come midnight, and the resort is quiet. Rarely a fight, rarely a drunk screaming at the top of his voice. The jobs of the local police are just some threatened by this INAPPROPRIATE behaviour."

(Kimberley): "We spoke to Juan who runs a bar near to the most NOTORIOUS part of this notorious resort - the PINEWALK - and found that the livelihoods of others in the local tourism industry are threatened as well." (Juan): "These tourists. They have one gin and tonic. This is all. I have special offer. Five-litre bucket of sangria with straws. They no want five litres of sangria. And the old people. They the worst. They say me, we no want sangria, we want Sanatogen. I say them, you want Sanatogen, you go Eastbourne."

(Phil): "We'd heard a lot about the pinewalk. Was it as notorious as was made out? So, here we are this afternoon, and as you can see, it is easy to understand how it gets its reputation. There are holidaymakers just walking. Some stop at a bar or restaurant and don't even drink alcohol. Others take photos of the pine trees. It's SCANDALOUS, innit."

(Anneka): "There was something else that we needed to investigate. (Looks up at an apartment building.) BALCONIES. These are causing so much concern that the Foreign Office has been forced to issue warnings. We spoke with a representative from the British Consulate about the problem." (Someone not called Juan): "Er, well, the problem with balconies is that holidaymakers insist on sitting on them. By which I mean they don't sit on the balcony floor, they sit on a chair. It can be potentially DISASTROUS. Especially for the older holidaymakers. They sit down, start to read a copy of the 'Majorca Daily Bulletin' and then fall asleep. Terrible SUNBURN, if they're not careful."

(Kimberley): "Even during our short stay, we learned that three holidaymakers had to be rushed to a local CHEMIST to get some calamine lotion because they had fallen asleep on a balcony. In the direct sun."

(Phil): "It isn't just the antics of older people. There are the young people as well. We spoke to 24-year-old Stacey from Luton and her boyfriend Gavin. (Stacey): "It's really lush. We don't do drugs or drink much. We just love the beach and the atmosphere here. And we like to find out about local CULTURE and all that."

(Anneka): "Culture. Not taking drugs. Not drinking excessively. This is the REAL TRUTH about Puerto Pollensa and why it is doing so much harm to Mallorca's reputation."

(Kimberley): "We went right to the top and spoke to the town's mayor about the problem at Pollensa Bay." (Mayor Juan): "Sí, there is, how you say, a small problem but ... ."

(Phil): "Thanks, mayor mate, sorry we had to cut you off, but, to be honest, you weren't all that interesting. All right, girls, enough of Puerto Pollensa. Where to next? Magalluf?"

(Anneka): "You're kidding. Who's interested in Magalluf?"

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