The Phantom Cruise? Sea Cloud in Alcúdia

26 July will go down in the annals of Alcúdia's history.

What great days there have been over the years. The day they officially opened the first roundabout and then unveiled the most un-horselike sculpture known to Western civilisation. The day they opened the bypass behind Bellevue and put an end to the coal trucks lumbering along the coast road to the power station. The day that Lidl opened.

Yet even these landmark days will be as nothing compared with when the first cruise ship arrives. The town band will be there, pipers to pipe the ship into dock. In fact, the pipers might well be there, too, a frightful bagpipe wailing at an hour when most would prefer to still be asleep. The folk dancers will ball their bot in their own peculiar Mallorcan way. Men may even wear hats, and the lady mayor will eschew the jeans she wore for the day when the market opened in the port and favour a summer frock.

Ships can sometimes be venerable because of their age. Cruise ships, as a rule, tend not to be particularly venerable. The multi-decked, all-inclusive on the high seas colossi that bounce over the waves of the Mediterranean are of far more recent vintage. Such cruise ships have not yet taken to arriving in Alcúdia. The length of time it has been hoped that Alcúdia might one day be able to welcome a cruise ship is to be marked by a ship that is suitably old. Eighty years old in fact.

Sea Cloud is not what you tend of think of when it comes to the cruise liner. Apart from its age, it isn't particularly big. Like some ships which have undergone transformation into becoming cruisers, Sea Cloud was originally a recreational ship; one of the finer of its time. It did, though, lend itself to the war effort; it was a weather ship with the US Navy during World War II. Its masts were removed but they are now back, all four of them. When Sea Cloud arrives in Alcúdia, one trusts the sails will all be in full billow. It will be a sight to behold, no question, but does it genuinely mark the start of a golden age of cruise ships coming into Alcúdia's expensive new terminal?

This is the hope of course. There will now be two and not just one ship next year. But three in two years do not constitute a golden age. Alcúdia will always have to contend with a ruddy great port on the south side of the island, to say nothing of those in Menorca.

The further hope is that cruise ships will bring with them a plenitude of passengers that they will disgorge in order for them to offer their patronage to the hostelries and businesses of the port. The great excitement, other than that generated by Sea Cloud being the first cruise ship, is that it will be carrying a payload with very deep pockets. Sea Cloud isn't exactly cheap, and its luxurious suites suggest anything but cheapness.

Not being cheap equals being exclusive. The leviathans of the waves that transport hundreds of passengers aren't exclusive, hence they produce the numbers that can be boasted about who end up in Palma's port and are then taken off to some caves on an excursion coach. Alcúdia will not be able to claim hundreds. It won't even be able to claim one hundred, or even fifty. Sea Cloud will have 47 passengers, 17 shy of its capacity. There will in fact be more crew.

The magnificent 47, once they have negotiated the prancing and the piping, once they have received gifts (what are they and who's paying for them?), once they have passed an array of gastronomic products that will be on display, will head off into the Alcúdia morning. Or will they? It is being said that they will be able to undertake an excursion of the town and maybe they will. But they only have six hours and they'll be off at two in the afternoon. Six hours and that'll be it for a year, until 6 August, 2013 when "The World" will arrive; not the whole world, you understand, but a ship by that name.

The only slight concern I have regarding the arrival of Sea Cloud is that, according to its schedule, it isn't actually due to be coming to Alcúdia on 26 July. Presumably it must be, but on its website there is no mention of the fact. There is a cruise that starts in Barcelona the following day, and one that will end today in Nice. I confess to being somewhat confused. Is it a genuine cruise or what exactly is it, and so who are the 47?


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.