Countdown: The tourism history word game

Historic. Of the past, except when it means the future. We have been shown the future of Mallorca's tourism, this year's anyway, and it is indeed historic. Like Michael Winner, via his Dinners, granting a crème brûlée an accolade of "historic", so this season will be sweet and rich and we can all look forward to the riches that will flow.

Historic. Oh, and spectacular, while we're at it. The coming tourism season will be both. Manuel Butler, director of the Spanish tourism office in Germany, is looking forward to an "historic summer" in Mallorca. The minister of the presidency, Ramón Jáuregui (whoever he is and whatever his job entails), believes that this summer will be "spectacular" for the Balearics. "Fantastic". "Extraordinary." Just a couple of other adjectives emanating from eminent persons who you are unlikely to have ever heard of.

Historic. It's official. The tourism office says so. Not just a record year, unlike record years that we have been prone to have in the past. Historic. Down in history. Or something like that. If it's historic, then it is more than merely a record year. Hard though it is to accept that anything, a year or a crème brûlée, can be historic until it has been and gone or been consumed, we are just to going to have accept that history is in the making. This is the year, therefore, not just of the historic but also of the overworking of superlatives. The year of the hyperbole.

President Antich, he of the soon-to-pass-into history, and a figure unlikely to merit the description "historical" (and there is a subtle difference between historic and historical; trust me that there is), has also been studying his thesaurus. "Stupendous." There is no need, as there has been the past couple of years, for whistling in the darkness of crisis to keep up flagging spirits, as all the bells and whistles of good fortune are being rung and blown. For Antich, history will remind us that he finally presided over something historic other than historic economic crisis and historic levels of corruption (not of his making, admittedly).

There is no reason to disbelieve any of this. When fears of overbooking mean the suspension of sales even for high summer, something rather wonderful does seem to be hovering on the horizon, like a fleet of easyJets looming into view and shimmering in the haze and preparing to disgorge untold thousands, nay millions of history-making holidaymakers.

Yet for all this, why is the optimism both muted and cautious? It could be that we have been here before. 2007? Well, that was a record year. Supposedly. But of course 2011 is going to be historic, which is several notches up on the scale of the hyperbolic league table.

The muted optimism has to do not with the numbers but with what the numbers represent. In Can Picafort, just as an example, they know all about record numbers. Last August, the resort was the Spanish champion when it came to hotel occupancy percentages. Yep, relatively speaking, Can Picafort was the most booked-out, most occupied tourism territory in Spain. Mention this fact to a Can Picafort business owner, and the riposte is swift. Can you guess what it is? Two words, often hyphenated, beginning with an "a" and an "i". There's a third word, which starts with "c", one that does unfortunately get tagged to Can Picafort's tourism profile.

Regrettably, amidst the euphoria of official pronouncements, one realises that officialdom engages in numbers and word games. They play at the lavish spectacular of tourism "Countdown" without acknowledging that tourism history, for not just a few bars and restaurants, started to come to an end some years ago when Mallorca's holiday programme became Sun Sea and A&I. All and inclusive. Were two words ever less appropriate. Inclusiveness, not for all, but for some; the hotels primarily, if not exclusively.

Historic? Yes, 2011 will probably turn out to justify the hype, and history may well come to reveal that the year was historic in its literal sense. But even the historic numbers of holidaymakers will not prevent recent A&I history from repeating itself. This is why whatever optimism there is, is being expressed in a muted way and without resort to the superlative. Historic. But what's the future?


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.