Don't Miss My Story: Aina Cifre

Pollensa and art are virtually synonymous. Ever since the founders of the Pollensa "school", Camarassa and Cittadini, were so struck by the light that influenced the school's post-impressionism, Pollensa has been firmly associated with canvas and brushwork. The galleries in the town and in Puerto Pollensa are often showcases for artistic talent that is local to the town and the area, one of these galleries being the Galería Dionís Bennàssar, now located over the other side of the Plaça Major from where it used to be; in fact, it is off the square in Antoni Maura, the street named after the one and only Mallorcan to have been a Spanish prime minister.

The gallery is currently showing some 30 odd works by the Pollensa-born Aina Cifre. The title of the exhibition is "Quiero contarte un cuento para que no te pierdas" - I want to tell you a story so that you don't miss it. There is an explanation for the exhibition, one that is quite typical in describing the thinking behind the art. The works are based on personal experiences, on overcoming struggles and so being optimistic. They combine elements of the fantastic with those of nature.

Explanations as to the purpose of pieces of art can seem somewhat odd. That they have to be explained suggests that the observer won't understand them otherwise. And if they can't understand them, without being told, then what is the point of them? Well, this is a cynical view and not one I actually believe. An artist's expression inevitably goes beyond the perceptions of others. It is why it enters the realms of the innovative, the fantasy and the fabulous. Joan Miró's work was rarely obvious. It required information, and once the information was supplied, the observer was able to see what the artist was saying. Miró's style was all but unique. It was also brilliant. No one has questioned that there wasn't sense to those geometric forms, because there was.

Aina Cifre's style is alternatively sparse and childlike. The natural world is evident from sweeps of disguised landscape and allusions to wing movement. She is a clever artist who adheres to the virtues of white space in emphasising the sense of those struggles and that optimism. She has - and she is now in her late 30s - been the recipient of awards, such as having been the winner of the Marratxí painting competition, and the exhibition at the Bennàssar gallery is not her first; in 2009, she showed "Nunca había tenido el corazón tan rojo" (never had the heart been so red, or something like this).

Cifre's work forms part of collections held by the Colonya and Sa Nostra banks (as I mentioned in a previous article, banks are one of the most important art collectors, which can be a constraint on protest art) as well as by the Council of Mallorca. She is, therefore, among the foremost artists of her generation in Mallorca and representative of what is a truly astounding array of contemporary artists who are currently at work here.

The exhibition at the Bennàssar gallery runs until 13 June. Recommended.

(Photo from Galería Dionís Bennàssar)


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Weather Alcúdia and Pollensa 24 May 2013

No Frills Excursions


Morning high (9.00am): 15C
Forecast high: 20C
Sea conditions (northern Mallorca; Alcúdia and Pollensa bays): West 3 to 4 switching to East around midday and then South tonight.

A fine sunny morning, though the forecast suggests it will be cloudy today. There again, it had forecast rain for tomorrow and that risk appears to have gone away. The outlook for the next few days is very promising.

Evening update (19.30): And it was fairly cloudy for some of the day. Sun out in the evening though. A high of 20.6C.

Waving The Flag (Or Not)

The Balearics have this year lost more blue flags than any other region of Spain. This loss has not been on account of poor water quality but because beaches do not have sufficient numbers of lifeguards. Where the Blue Flag programme demands two lifeguards, some beaches in Mallorca only have one, the reason being because, under Balearics regulations, only one is necessary.

On the face of it, this sounds like very poor PR for Mallorca. You can imagine the headlines - "Holidaymakers' lives put at risk by absent lifeguards in Mallorca". Or something along these lines. It would sound bad, but who's making it sound bad? It is the people behind the Blue Flag programme, the Foundation for Environmental Education that sits in Copenhagen, passing judgement on beaches here, there and everywhere, and which acts like a virtual governmental body in issuing its decrees and awards.

I have spoken before about the Blue Flag programme and its organisers. I have no beef with the original motives behind the programme - ensuring the quality of sea water - but I do have a serious beef with the way in which the tentacles of the programme have, like an octopus extending its many arms and wrapping them around whatever happens to float past it, performed their own constrictive, bureaucratic, self-determined grabs of ever more elements of beach life to justify the programme's existence. It is a programme, a concept - that of the blue flag - that has acquired its own self-fulfilling existence. It has, I'm sorry to have to say, become imperialist in its hunger for influence and importance.

The Blue Flag programme is a classic example of a concept that started out with the very best intentions but which has been consumed by its own power - or its belief in its own power. The argument will be made that holidaymakers pay great attention to its awards and its withdrawals - an argument the organisation will make and that others will nod in agreement with. But do holidaymakers pay such attention? Once upon a time, they might have done, back in the days when the recycling of last night's dinner could be seen floating off a beach. Those days have largely gone, though. Local authorities, such as those in Mallorca, are fully aware of their duties of care to health and to the environment. And were they not, then their failings would be swiftly and abruptly made public. All over the internet, as an example.

Negative news about blue flags in Mallorca, or indeed positive news relating to them, is meat and drink for the local Mallorcan media, which takes reports of withdrawal of flags and elevates them to states of virtual scandal, when they are nothing of the sort. Yes, do let's have as many lifeguards as possible on Mallorca's beaches, but who really, among the holidaymaking public, pays any great attenton to what the Blue Flag programme has to say?

Take Puerto Pollensa. It doesn't have a flag at present. And? Has this been a reason for tourists refusing to come to the resort? I would suggest that it hasn't been. Indeed, I would be hugely surprised had they. The Blue Flag programme is not irrelevant - it most certainly has been relevant in promoting water safety - but its remit has gone way too far, and it has been a remit that it has determined for itself in advancing its own justification for existence and, as with any aspiring-to-near-governmental-status body, it milks its awards and withdrawals for all they are worth, ensuring that a media, inclined to only believe and promote the negative, laps up. As it does locally.

But this is the nub of the matter. Local. The absence of a lifeguard or two and the Blue Flag's promotion of the fact is used as evidence against irresponsible local authorities. The media heartily endorses this, but it doesn't stop to enquire about the messenger, the Blue Flag organisation, and about its grab of influence and power. Away from the local arena, though, no one really gives a damn. If they did, then Puerto Pollensa would be empty this summer as would be other coastal areas without the flag.

The fact is that the Blue Flag is a somewhat shallow trophy. Shallow, because it doesn't mean a great deal to everyday holidaymakers. There are some to whom it does, and they are those who still labour under the misapprehension that the Blue Flag programme is primarily or exclusively to do with its original purpose. But there are others for whom the programme has been an exercise in nothing more than an expansionist tendency.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Weather Alcúdia and Pollensa 23 May 2013

No Frills Excursions


Morning high (9.00am): 16.5C
Forecast high: 22C
Sea conditions (northern Mallorca; Alcúdia and Pollensa bays): Variable 2 to 3 reaching West 3 yo 4 by the afternoon.

Quite sunny and should get sunnier. The general forecast also has a sunnier look to it. Rain threatened for Saturday appears to be much less of a threat. Tomorrow may be cloudy at times but otherwise fine. Into next week, the outlook is reasonable.

A Day At The Chemists

I do not need to detain you with the reasons why, and they are not solely to do with the need for medicinal compounds, I am well-versed with chemists in the area. Or pharmacies, to give them their properly and directly translated name.

I like the local pharmacies and pharmacists and their staff (with the exception of one or two, that is). Because of my mysterious need to inhabit these establishments, I know the people concerned pretty well, and knowing them means that they are a rich source of information. If you want to know about national characteristics, go ask a pharmacist; he or she can give you chapter and verse. As in ... The Mallorcans spend hours upon hours requiring explanations for the simplest of drug-taking and then repeat these explanations - several times - in their own unique, shouty, potato-mouth-filled fashion. The Germans spend hours upon hours demanding entire technical specifications and full composition percentages (and still then ask more questions). The British evacuate chemists in embarrassment because of language difficulties and because of anything vaguely to do with private areas. The Russians don't go to chemists to buy drugs but to hand over wads of cash for anything that comes in expensive, designer packaging, like shampoos or cologne washes.

The Russian designer-craving mentality may or may not have something to do with the makeovers that have been occurring to the pharmacies. While I was under the impression that pharmacists were all boracic because the Balearics health service hasn't been handing over what it owes to them, they have been undertaking facelifts that have turned their facades, if not always their interiors, into appearing like designer hotels. Were it not for that green flashing thing outside, you would expect to walk into a pharmacy and book a long weekend of en suite, spa massage and small portions on very large plates that pass for dinner.

This designer impulse is not confined to the pharmacy exterior. Business cards? Works of art in some instances and always a combination of subtle greens (unlike the unsubtle green flashing thing), black and a logo of Adobe Illustrator graphic-design creation. While resort modernisation has concentrated on hotels, the pharmacists have been leading the way. They are über-contemporary, marked and branded with Sans Serif styling but ultimately facades for what generally happens inside. Some paracetamol, please. Yes, that'll be three euros, twenty-five. It will? Oh yes, it most certainly will, unless you are in the know, happen to speak the native or are Mallorcan. Then it will be sixty odd centimos. Same drug, different brands - one generic, the other not. One for locals, the other for tourists.

But then, I don't criticise the chemists or their suppliers for seeking healthier mark-ups. They are businesses after all, though there are some pharmacists in Mallorca who attempt to conceal this business, the president of the Balearics being an example (and I suppose that one should add "allegedly"). That, though, is a different story. The pharmacy represents good business because of necessity, even if the necessity is simply to provide overpriced paracetamol to combat the previous evening's lager and vodka intake.

The pharmacy also represents the most significant point of observation of the tourist class. The pharmacy reveals all tourist and local human life. It is the single most egalitarian come-together point in resorts. Chav or not-chav, Brit, German or Russian, they are all there, and so the pharmacy is the perfect site to witness tourists in their unnatural habitats, tourists of whatever nationality, of whatever background, all seeking creams to treat mosquito bites. The pharmacy should, therefore, demand a position of greater importance in tourism life. It isn't simply a point of sale for suppositories and sunburn lotions. It is the theatre for touristic existence.

In such high regard do I hold the pharmacies, notwithstanding that odd one or two which I don't, so impressed am I with their generally unwavering patience and smiliness that I feel an entire guide should be devoted to them. They should be publicised for the tourist insight that they offer and for their shiny new exteriors. Flogging headache pills for more than is necessary, well, I can forgive them, but, and I know I shouldn't really say this but I will, perhaps such forgiveness also has to do with the white uniforms. And the fact that most of the staff in pharmacies are female and that they look good in those white uniforms. No, I know I shouldn't have said this. Forget it.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Weather Alcúdia and Pollensa 22 May 2013

No Frills Excursions


Morning high (9.00am): 16.5C
Forecast high: 22C
Sea conditions (northern Mallorca; Alcúdia and Pollensa bays): North and Northeast 4 to 5 easing to West 3 by the afternoon.

A somewhat better morning but still a good deal of cloud. Should be some reasonable sun today, but the weather isn't that settled; there is a chance of rain again on Saturday with winds picking up as well.

Tax Denial And Spanish Mistrust

The European Commission estimates that tax evasion in the European Union amounts to 864 billion euros. That's quite a lot of money. I'm unsure if this is annually, though if it is, then it is even more than simply quite a lot of money. To whatever period of time it refers, a conclusion that is drawn is that it isn't only the banana-republic Club Med countries that are awash with tax fraud and black money, so also are those countries which protest that they play by the rules and which have been at the heart of the European project pretty much from the days of iron and steel. Take Belgium, for example. Its percentage of hidden economy is said to be equivalent to 21.9% of the whole economy and amounts to 33.6 billion euros; Spain's is only fractionally higher, at 22.5%, though the amount in real terms is significantly greater - 72.7 billion.

This massive amount of tax evasion has only comparatively little to do with ordinary taxpayers (or non-taxpayers). It is evasion that is made primarily by large companies, the multinationals to which fiscal blind eyes have been turned in return for the benefits they bring in terms of employment and general economic welfare. They do bring employment, but the employees are hit for tax, while they as employers siphon their riches away in tax havens or through complex organisational structures. It is the large companies, as well as certain wealthy individuals, who are the haves of the tax system. They have all the benefits they can find, while the have-nots are everyone else, the hoi polloi who carry the tax burden. Or attempt not to carry the burden.

In Spain, the generally held view is that everyone evades tax or tries to avoid it. There is a distinction between evade and avoid. The former is considered illegal, the latter is considered to be creative tax accounting. Whichever verb or explanation one prefers, the view persists nevertheless; the Spanish are a nation of tax deniers and this denial is a national pastime that is rivalled only by football.

Despite having spent some years in Mallorca and having acquired a moderate feel for local culture, I remain gobsmacked at the endemic nature of tax denial. But when one looks around and sees the level of evasion, the level of corruption and the level therefore of fraud which is perpetrated by companies, certain prominent businesspeople and also politicians, then is it any wonder?

It was recently suggested that, although the submerged economy is as great as it is in Spain (and this submergence clearly does involve a very much wider population than tax-evading companies and corrupt politicians), if it weren't for this black economy, there would by now have been riots on the streets. It is an alarming notion. If the country were to operate properly in tax terms, it wouldn't get its economy in order, it would descend into anarchy.

I know full well how many companies operate, especially those which are larger than just the "mom-and-pop" concerns. The government knows full. Everyone knows full well. Certain tax burdens - social security payments most obviously, as they are ludicrously burdensome - bring with them evasion. Which means part black.

While other countries, even apparently less corrupt ones like Belgium, have such high levels of evasion, in Spain, the tax denial that is widespread throughout the economy is predicated, or so it seems to me, on a societal mistrust. Institutions, be they government in their different arms or the law, are set against the general public. Law-breaking is institutionalised insofar as it forms a key element of public administration's financial planning. Town halls, as an example, make a thing of revenues they can expect to derive from fines.

Such an expectation, though, is indicative of this institutionalised law-breaking. It may be a product of history, but it breeds what you have, the equally institutionalised mistrust between citizens and agents of the state. But mistrust can go only so far. Having created an atmosphere of extreme them and us, Spanish officialdom knows that it could tip the balance were it to reinforce this mistrust, e.g. by doing all within its power to eradicate the submerged economy; the suggestion that the black economy is preventing civil unrest may be right.

Tax-evading companies and high-profile individuals are one thing, the man in the street is quite another. The Spanish people haven't - yet - risen up against austerity and stormed the Bastille of corrupt business, government and the über-wealthy, because of the complicit nature of the tax-denial game. But it is no way to organise a society. Civic duty comes in different forms, and one of them is paying dues. This civic duty is not returned in full, however, because the masters of the citizenship have no trust in their citizens. And the feeling is entirely mutual. 


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Puerto Pollensa paid parking back in force

The blue zones for paid parking in Puerto Pollensa are back in operation, the town hall saying that it hopes to be able to extend the period when the system of metering will apply. Such an extension could come in next year along with the green zone for residents' parking, which had been promised for this year, but which has not been implemented.

See more: Ultima Hora

MALLORCA TODAY - Weather Alcúdia and Pollensa 21 May 2013

No Frills Excursions


Morning high (9.00am): 15C
Forecast high: 20C
Sea conditions (northern Mallorca; Alcúdia and Pollensa bays): East 2 to 3 reaching Northeast 4 during the morning, occasionally 5, easing Northwest 3 by the evening. Possible storm.

Some ominous clouds around on an overcast morning, rain more than likely through the day and on into tomorrow morning. Better by tomorrow afternoon with temperatures generally just over the 20 mark.

Evening update (20.30): A pretty miserable day all in all. Some rain but not heavy, but dull and at times quite chilly. A high of 20.2C.

The Illogic Of Catalan

The Catalan language arrived in Mallorca on horseback. Jaume I of Aragon rode across his newly conquered domain, dispensing Catalan linguistics and Catalan traditions.

There is absolutely no question as to the roots of Mallorcan language and culture and there should be no question as to what historically binds Mallorca to the mainland of Spain. This is not Castile and the Castellano language, it is Catalonia (or Aragon to be strictly accurate) and the Catalan language.

The usurping of this historical connection has occurred on different occasions over the centuries, and we all know about the attempts to destroy this connection and so therefore language and traditions during the Franco period. In the democratic, post-Franco era, Mallorcans have been able to resurrect in a fully open fashion their language and traditions, and in so doing, tourists, who in Franco times might well have been completely ignorant of anything cultural or linguistic that didn't bear the hallmark of Castile, have come to appreciate that local culture isn't, or isn't predominantly, a "Spanish" one.

Though tourists might have been unaware of an alternative version of culture, for the Mallorcans, the traditional culture didn't disappear. A particularly striking example of how the Catalan tradition still burnt during the Franco time was the staging of a glosadors contest in Felanitx in the 1940s, a time when Spanish Nationalism was at its most ferocious and vicious. In theory, such an event was not permitted, but it occurred nevertheless.

But then, what tradition was it that had been upheld during those years of prohibition? Was it Catalan or was it Mallorquín? Where the glosadors were concerned, and they were arguably the most important socio-cultural agents for maintaining linguistic tradition, it wasn't Catalan. It was Mallorquín.

It is this blurring of tradition that is at the heart of the endless arguments over language in Mallorca. While these arguments are normally styled as being between Catalan and Castellano, there is a whole separate debate regarding the Mallorquín dialect and Catalan. President Bauzá has recently reiterated his view that there are four island languages (or dialects) and he has done so by steadfastly ignoring the claims of Catalan.

The Bauzá line is, in a key respect, illogical. It pays no regard to the historical connection to Jaume I. Without Jaume, there would have been no Catalan in Mallorca and equally there would have been no Mallorquín. Catalan and Mallorquín are, therefore, well and truly part of a common heritage. There can be no debate.

But debate there most certainly is, and it is driven by political philosophy. Catalan is anti-Hispania, and is therefore, where Bauzá and others of similar views are concerned, a "bad thing". Catalan is anti-Hispania in being the language of separatism and dissent and so therefore a further bad thing. That Catalan bequeathed to Mallorca its own linguistic variant is airbrushed away in the pursuit of advancing a nationalistic dogma.

The more I come to appreciate how Mallorca was during Franco's time, the more it appears that, even if there was unofficial approval, the local dialects were not stamped on with anything like the ferocity that Catalan was; the glosadors staging a contest in a public theatre was a prime example. And it is this nationalist alliance between Castellano, the main language (despite Catalan being a co-official language), and the local dialects that represents Bauzáist philosophy. Unfortunately for the president, though, there are other political voices who proclaim the same philosophy, and they are very much to the right in a way that Bauzá isn't, because they are the neo-fascists.

Though it can seem illogical to seek to downplay the historical connection through Jaume and so downplay the role of Catalan, its traditions, its very being as a political entity as the motherland of Mallorcan language and traditions, I'm not convinced that Bauzá may not be right. The education debate, that of Catalan v. Castellano, muddies the water to an extent, and it does so because Mallorcan people appear to end up arguing against what many otherwise believe. And what they believe, at least mostly all I have ever spoken to about the subject, is in accordance with the Bauzá line. They don't want to be associated with Catalan. That may seem illogical as well, because of the historical connection, but for most Mallorcans, they take pride in Mallorquín and in not wishing to be ruled by Barcelona.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Weather Alcúdia and Pollensa 20 May 2013

No Frills Excursions


Morning high (9.00am): 13C
Forecast high: 21C
Sea conditions (northern Mallorca; Alcúdia and Pollensa bays): South 3 backing East by the afternoon.

Cloudy, though only light cloud, but it's likely to be around most of the day. Tomorrow is forecast to be wet, rain continuing into Wednesday. An improvement from then on.

Evening update (20.15): Pretty disappointing sort of a day. Not much sun and not particularly warm, a high of just 19.8C.

Beauty And The Bauzá

What is it with leading lights in the island's Partido Popular and the appointment of secretary girls or females with whom the relationship is more than just a working one? First we had Carlos giving a tourism-ministry job to his girlfriend, his lady of Lourdes, to whom he is now married. No sooner had Lourdes been named as whatever advisor she was, than a stink of deer's testicles proportions began to waft over Delgado's head. He was forced to withdraw the job offer.

Then we had Tomeu Cifre, mayor of Pollensa. He already had one secretary, the general factotum-gofferess employed by the town hall, but Tomeu said he needed a personal secretary as well. He might have got away with this had it not been for the fact that the appointment was of a fellow member of the PP who had failed by one place on the voting list to secure a post as a councillor. After several days of outcry, Tomeu went on Radio Pollença and insisted that he had not been wrong in making the appointment and that the secretary, one Nora Tugores, had been a victim of a campaign against her. He neglected the possibility that the appointment might just have struck some as being a tad nepotistic. 

Now we have the islands' El Presidente. Joe Ray has gone and appointed a new secretary, the leggy lovely Verónica Hernández, who was Miss Baleares in 2009 and who I could remember winning the contest. Verónica, as I now recall, had declared that being a "miss" and a model were two different things. She was more of the former, a miss, and so a more real woman. Whatever that meant. Anyway, back in 2009, Verónica was studying journalism and audiovisual communication, both of which should come in handy in bolstering the Bauzá image as it threatens to slide off the edge of a political cliff and crash onto the rocks of defeat in 2015.

The multi-talented Verónica has also studied fashion, another vital qualification in securing a support function to the image-conscious president about town. Might Bauzá now become de-bearded? His growth appeared only a short time after his ascent to the presidential throne. It was, one presumed, a facial-hair symbol of gravitas in keeping with the beardedness of the national PP leadership. Could the beard now go and so present a softer president, one more in touch with his feminine side?

The sudden outbreak of femininity among the Bauzá ranks is surely intended to give the PP more female appeal in 2015. However, it's one thing to elevate various members of the rank and file to cabinet posts, quite another to give the secretary's job to an ex-beauty queen. And herein of course lies the rub. Were Verónica to look like Susan Boyle then nothing would have been said about the matter. Just because she happens to be blessed with a more than pleasant face and figure is no reason for her to not be appointed. It would appear, however, that it is her looks which count against her. The Lobby de Dones women's rights group seems to see only the Verónica surface in criticising the appointment. Are women not allowed to be attractive and to be given decent jobs? Arguably, she doesn't have the right experience or a huge amount of experience, but then I couldn't say whether she does or she doesn't. If she does, though, then what is the problem?

We all know what the problem is, however. It is a problem of perception. Regardless of how qualified Carlos's girlfriend or Tomeu's compatriot in the party were for their respective jobs, neither appointment looked good. It was naïve of both of them to have believed that these appointments would not have caused a fuss. And Bauzá's appointment of Verónica is similar. Because she is a high-profile Balearics beauty, it was bound to attract attention, so undermining, at a stroke, the Bauzá campaign to improve his image.

It shouldn't matter. It really shouldn't matter. If Verónica is right for the job, this is all that should matter. But being right for a job is not how these things work. Especially not now. Verónica, as a switched-on communications sort, would probably recognise that such an appointment might create a stink. But then it is a job, a well-paid job. She cannot be blamed for accepting it, and I wish her the best of luck and hope she doesn't fall foul of an anti-campaign. If she does, then, more so than Nora Tugores, she would be a victim.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Weather Alcúdia and Pollensa 19 May 2013

No Frills Excursions


Morning high (9.00am): 16C
Forecast high: 21C
Sea conditions (northern Mallorca; Alcúdia and Pollensa bays): Southwest 4 to 5 veering West and then backing Southwest 3.

Sun's out. Clear skies. A day to make the most of as the week ahead isn't looking brilliant - cloudy at the start of the week and then sunny but with the risk of rain.

Evening update (23.30): A high of 21.9C on an often breezy and rather chilly day. A good deal of warm sun as well, but not what the doctor has ordered. 

The Sinking Of The "Fortuna"

The King's giving up his boat. In these unfortunate economic times, the wheel of fortune has spun in the wrong direction, and the royal yacht "Fortuna" has been caught in a whirlpool spin and been dragged under the surface of public relations for an austere climate. When a nation has to give up its boys' toys, crisis can well and truly be said to dominate.

The yacht was a gift. Those who donated to its 21 million euro purchase in 2000 included at least four bosses of major hotel groups - Barceló, Meliá, Fiesta and Iberostar - as well as Juan Hidalgo of Air Europa (or Globalia, if you prefer). The Balearic Government also put its hands in its pockets - to the tune of three million - and there are those who now want the money back; it was a Partido Popular government which was kind enough to fund the King's marine lifestyle, hence the cries from the left demanding a refund.

Why, though, is the King giving the yacht up? It certainly costs to maintain it and run it - 20,000 euros alone are apparently needed to fuel its tanks - but as it was a gift, one that was made in the hope, a not unreasonable hope, that it would ensure the King and his family's regular visits to Mallorca and so help tourism, then it can't be claimed that the yacht was a regal or national extravagance. The names of those who parted with some loose change to help pay for the yacht indicate one of the reasons for their generosity; it wasn't altruism, it was hard-nosed business.

One could argue that it is impossible to equate levels of tourism to the royal yacht and so therefore to the royal family's regular holidaying in Mallorca. And it probably is impossible, but then so it is also impossible to make a straight-line calculation between expenditure on a Mallorcan tennis star gadding about on a different yacht, being filmed and ending up in a TV advert and with this advert's contribution to tourism. The royal yacht was an exercise in marketing by the Balearics. Three million would be met with cries of horror now, but in 2000, the government's part funding of the yacht was probably reasonable enough.

The yacht's PR value has lain with its potential for attracting tourism and for seducing various dignitaries of a business sort who might wish to cast their benevolence in the general direction of Mallorca or Spain. It is ironic, therefore, that PR is the main reason for getting rid of it. The King, as we all know, has been enduring something of a PR mare for several months. An act of contrition needed, one of the boys' toys had to go, and unlucky "Fortuna" has pulled the short straw.

It's not as though the King will be required to slum it when taking his holidays at the Marivent Palace in future and wishing to go for a quick sail around the bay of Palma. There are plenty of floating palacetes bobbing up and down next to a marina harbour wall on the waters around Mallorca, and there are probably plenty of businesspeople and others who would be only be too glad for a dollop of their own PR from giving the Spanish royals the run of the ship for a week or so. Last summer in fact, the King made use of a somewhat more modest affair than "Fortuna", a yacht belonging to the shipbuilder, José Cusi.

So, as there are any number of such vessels floating around, dispensing with "Fortuna" probably isn't such a big deal after all. It's not as if the King will be reduced to having only a royal rowing-boat or a royal pedalo; there are plenty of Fortuna-lites to be had as well as some Fortuna-fortunes-afloat (does Abramovic ever get himself over to Mallorca?).

More than anything though, the final docking of a royal yacht is a symbolic act, and not a positive one at that. When Britannia was scuppered, it was as though a last lament had been emitted for the going-down of empire; Britannia, it had to be admitted, did indeed no longer rule the waves. Spain doesn't cling to its imperial past in quite the same way as the British - its imperial glories faded well before those of Britain's - but there is still the memory of the rivers of gold and all that and of Spain's seafaring heritage and at least partial global dominance that came as a result of this tradition.

In this regard, given the distance of time, "Fortuna" can be seen as something of an anachronism. But if it is considered in purely pragmatic business terms - as the Balearics businesspeople in 2000 would have considered it - all the romanticism of a maritime past and the monarchical baggage of that past evaporates. Or should.

Personally, I have no feelings one way or the other about the royal yacht. But if "Fortuna" was performing a useful function, then its junking in the pursuit of better PR seems unfortunate.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.