Wrote Me A Letter: Car-hire prices

"Dear Sir,
My wife and I have been coming to Majorca since Nelson was a lad; from a time when you could hire a 2CV for the price of a cup of coffee and take to the roads of this beautiful island and drive carefree, admiring the sights of this paradise island and shunting into a passing mountain goat or some dear peasant of a Majorcan farmer on his horse and cart who was only too delighted to then offer to pay for the damage. But now we are expected to part with upwards of eight grand for a week's hire of a Fiat Smallo without a handbrake. The authorities must do something about this, and about the price of a cup of coffee, or we will choose not to come again. Ever. So there.

Yours, D. Gruntled, Epsom"


"Dear Sir,
I read with horror that the price of car hire in Majorca is to rise by one hundred per cent this year. The authorities must do something about this, or this beautiful island will lose all its tourists. What do the car-hire agencies think they're playing at? Running a business? And may I also express my dismay at having had to pay one euro, fifty centimos for a coffee in Puerto Pollensa the other day. The authorities must do something about this. There is, after all, an awful lot of coffee in Brazil.

Yours, B. Onkers, Eastbourne"


"Dear Sir,
I wish to protest in the strongest tones that my husband Giles nearly choked on his over-priced cup of coffee in Puerto Pollensa when he read of the latest increase in car-hire prices. Are these car-hire johnnies insane? A VW Touareg automatic should be no more than a hundred or so euros for a fortnight - AT MOST! The authorities must do something about this. I would suggest that they begin by horse-whipping the lot of them.

Yours, Eleanora Madd, Little Gaddesden (and sometimes Crestatx)"


As you might have guessed, more news about the the price of car hire going up. Again. Ho hum.


Andy Murray
There are those among the ranks of the expatriate brigades who are either tennis fans or are Scottish, or are both. There are even those who support Andy Murray. An extraordinary thing in the Lash column in "The Bulletin" yesterday. It would seem, and admittedly it isn't always clear what he's talking about, that there is to be a Hollywood film about the only tennis player in Britain or, as Riki has it: "the glorified Scots life story". Does this mean that Murray pretends to be Scottish, as in he's really English, or is not as glorious as some might think him to be? Whatever. It goes on: "What is not amazing, is Andy Murray is still one of the world's great tennis players where movie producers want Andy in the film itself as with training he could be a natural actor." Right, I think we understand.


QUIZ:
Have we had this - "wrote me a letter" - before? Probably. Who? And this would be by way of a tribute. Why?

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.