Bump 'n' Grind

Sleeping policemen. Was it "The Mail On Sunday" that used to feature a sleeping policeman in an ad? "Not a snooze paper", or something like that. Two days in a row and references to British newspapers. What can this possibly mean? Precisely nothing. But sleeping policemen. Bumps in the road. Designed to slow you down, though you do wonder about the necessity given the state of some of them. With the current months-long digging up of the carretera in front of the Vanity hotel, you have to use the road that runs parallel. You take that at speed at your peril. All manner of holes and sunken sewer covers.

Ben, he of Piccadilly Ben as was, has reminded me of the nature of these bumps. His girlfriend Sara had a bump of her own, taking on one of these things armed - or maybe that should be footed - solely (as it were) with some rollerblades. Things that go bump in the day. The old bolted-in bumps weren't so bad mainly because they fell to pieces and a swift manouevre could glide you through without obstacle. Except that when they fell to pieces, the bolts came out and stuck in your tyres. As I know. So now the bumps are solid-state. I'm sure people used to go and unbolt some of the old ones in the dead of night because one day there would have been one and the next day there wasn't. Not these ones they won't. Concrete. Immovable except with the aid of some serious grinding and drilling with a Kango Wolf. Not so much a sleeping as a dead policeman with full rigor mortis. And they are everywhere.

Ben also reminds me that the Classic Car Rally is due to take place from 5 March. One can but only hope the route doesn't take in too much concrete boneshaking. Not all classic cars were built to last. Some old sports job held together with string takes one of them at high speed, and bang - bits of chassis, wheels, engine spread all over the place. Perhaps they are all the idea of some Dick Dastardly in the roads authority or the Mallorcan cement industry. Anyway, if you fancy seeing some of the wacky races, here is the link www.rallyislamallorca.com/basic/estilos/index.php?nocache=1723 and here are some photos from Ben http://picasaweb.google.com/mallorcaben/MallorcaClassicCarRally2007

And while on reminders, here is some info on when some places are opening. Foxes Arms will start up on Monday, 3 March, which should ensure time enough to follow Leicester City's fortune, or possibly misfortune, as they slip into Division 1 or is it 2 or maybe 3. Not as it was in my day. Vamps and Canny Lad are getting going at the end of the month. And yep, time enough to watch the Messiah taking the Toon Army to the promised land of the Championship. And finally, Hidropark will not open 1 May this year, but 5 May. So now you know. Did I mention that Spurs won the Carling Cup by the way?


QUIZ
Yesterday - was of course "Oliver". Today's title - biggie from which US R&B singer?

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Index for February 2008

Albufera – 3 February 2008
Alcúdia’s power station – 15 February 2008
Art – 24 February 2008
Bailey’s Irish Café-Bar – 11 February 2008
Bars – 6 February 2008, 11 February 2008
Bellevue – 8 February 2008
Blogs – 23 February 2008
Café La Sala – 20 February 2008
Cafeteria Mediterraneo – 23 February 2008
Canoeing – 11 February 2008
Carnation sellers – 29 February 2008
Carnival – 1 February 2008
Centro Canino – 10 February 2008
Corsaris, Alcúdia – 2 February 2008
Crime – 21 February 2008, 29 February 2008
Cycling – 9 February 2008, 12 February 2008
Dogs – 10 February 2008
Driving – 22 February 2008
Environment – 15 February 2008, 16 February 2008
Expatriates – 14 February 2008
Fiestas – 1 February 2008
General election – 7 February 2008, 13 February 2008, 14 February 2008
Hamilton, Lewis – 5 February 2008
Help Unlimited – 19 February 2008
Holiday lets – 18 February 2008
Home design – 19 February 2008
Hotels – 8 February 2008, 16 February 2008, 17 February 2008, 18 February 2008
Immigration – 13 February 2008, 14 February 2008
Internet – 18 February 2008
La Birreria – 6 February 2008
Lago Esperanza – 11 February 2008
Life On Mars – 28 February 2008
Light – 24 February 2008
Live music – 6 February 2008
Mayors – 6 February 2008
Metamorphosis – 19 February 2008
Nationalities – 17 February 2008
Painting – 24 February 2008
Partido Popular – 13 February 2008, 14 February 2008
Perfume – 27 February 2008
Pickpocketing – 29 February 2008
Police – 4 February 2008
Processionary caterpillars – 10 February 2008
Property management – 19 February 2008
Racism – 5 February 2008, 13 February 2008, 14 February 2008
Rajoy, Mariano – 13 February 2008, 14 February 2008
Roads – 22 February 2008
Rugby – 2 February 2008
Sa Cisterna – 20 February 2008
Santa Margalida – 6 February 2008
Shopping – 27 February 2008
Solecito Apartments – 17 February 2008
Son Serra de Marina – 4 February 2008
Spanish economy – 7 February 2008
Spanish television – 28 February 2008
Sports tourism – 9 February 2008, 11 February 2008, 25 February 2008
Stefanel – 27 February 2008
Sunwing Resort – 17 February 2008
Tour of Mallorca – 9 February 2008, 12 February 2008
Tour operators – 16 February 2008
Tourists – 26 February 2008
TUI – 16 February 2008
Vanity Hotel Golf – 16 February 2008
Wines – 20 February 2008
Winter tourism – 1 February 2008
Women in business – 19 February 2008