Muro vs. Pollensa: Light vs. dark

The remarkable weather that Mallorca has been enjoying just recently can lull one into a false sense of climate security. Oh, that it always was as remarkable. Oh, that it was as remarkable as it has been throughout the winter months. Unfortunately, it isn't. And with the real arrival of a Mallorcan autumn (not the earlier variety, circa 21 September), it is not untypical for the weather to be less than remarkable and for it to be a non-descript, cloudy-can't-make-its-mind-up, grey turns to blue and then back again sort of unremarkableness. It is the sort of weather that is normally the backdrop for the November fairs, ones to which few tourists venture because few tourists have ventured to Mallorca.

Were they to, however, then might they be enticed to visit one of these fairs? Probably they would be. But they need to be inspired, to be persuaded, to be invited in a glowing way. And not only tourists. Anyone.

Muro and Pollensa have their fairs this weekend. Two towns some twenty kilometres apart celebrate their fairs in different ways but both share something in common, an agricultural and rural heritage. Most Mallorcan fairs are celebrations of this heritage and they have mostly all looked to make their fairs more appealing to the current day. Muro has added a veneer of musical and gastronomic sophistication to its pumpkinfest. Pollensa, having solicited opinions which were deposited in suggestion boxes at last year's fair, has created a space at the craft fair for young designers.

Both fairs are, therefore, moving with the times. They have to in order to avoid being exercises in repetition year in, year out. Pollensa recognised this last year, which was why it asked for suggestions. It was a good initiative; people should be asked for suggestions and not just for fairs.

A further matter for which suggestions might be sought is the type of publicity material that is used to promote the fair and also the timeliness of this publicity. Pollensa has managed to outdo even its own normal slowness this year by failing to get its programme available to the public until Wednesday, the day before the fair's first event. Pretty impressive. Muro, on the other hand, had its publicity out some ten days before the fair kicked off. Very impressive, and I mean very impressive here in a complimentary fashion rather than in the sarcastic impressive manner reserved for Pollensa's snail-like approach.

Timeliness aside, the two towns have adopted very different approaches to the images of their fairs. At a time of year when the skies might be a shade of grey, Muro has sought to break through the clouds and let the sun shine in and let the colours glow. Pollensa has stuck firmly to a greyer shade of pale. More than this, it has adorned its poster with some bits of old scrap metal and ancient tools lifted from a museum.

Pollensa does have form when it comes to issuing publicity for the fair which is either bizarre or marked with items which have been taken from an instruction manual or from a collectors' catalogue of antique workers' implements. Take its 2006 effort, in the days before crisis when money could be spent willy-nilly and when its publicity brochure came in a plastic holder and contained a design that could have been attached to a willy. Was it a sex toy, a plumber's aid or the arm from a doll? Who knew?

More austere times have meant that the plastic covers have to be dispensed with, and so the fair settles for this year's hammer, saws and chisels. The poster's design, such as it is, comes replete with old typewriter typography. This is definitely "en vogue" at present, and though its retro style might seem in keeping with the photos of the tools, all it does is to emphasise an old image which is really not in keeping with the fair's moving forward that the town hall has sought. The whole thing lacks life and vibrancy. It lacks appeal.

Muro, by contrast, has opted for vivid colours. The typography is jokey art-deco while at the same time quite sophisticated, so matching the moves that the fair has made. But it is the vitality of the array of oranges, reds and browns together with the obligatory pumpkin set against a blue sky which gives the poster so much appeal. It also bucks a trend towards monochrome minimalism, an often unwelcome design trend for Mallorca which neglects the colours of the island.

Put these two designs side by side, and which one would entice the neutral visitor more? It's an unequal match. Muro, nine out of ten; Pollensa, must try harder.

The Invisible Station

I'm making an apology on behalf of "The Bulletin". If you had gone along to the ferry terminal in Puerto Alcúdia on Sunday and had expected to find some free watersports activities which you could have enjoyed, you would have been disappointed.

I showed a short news item (from Thursday's paper) to someone in Alcúdia who, how can I put this, is in the know. The jaw dropped, followed by an expression of understanding as to how the mistake had been made. I understood it as well, as it's a mistake many people are making.

What happened on Sunday was that there were indeed free watersports activities, but they were nothing to do with the terminal or the commercial port. They were part of a promotion, in the form of a "fiesta", for the estación náutica. And it is this which caused the mistake and causes other mistakes to be made.

The estación náutica doesn't exist. It is not bricks, mortar, aluminium, glass or any material. It is a "station" without physical manifestation. It is an un-thing. But the concept, and that is all it is - a concept, begs an interpretation of the physical. Of course it does. A station is a thing not an abstraction; hence a not unreasonable confusion with the terminal.

Since the estación naútica concept was first raised in Alcúdia - at the start of 2009 - I have written about it on a few occasions, and I keep making the same point; it is not understandable. The concept is elusive, it doesn't translate into anything sensible in English (even watersports centre doesn't work because this can also imply something physical), and it doesn't even mean much to the Spanish; they also expect to find an actual centre.

This is not Alcúdia's fault as such. There are other such stations in Spain and in the Balearics. But the confusion that has existed in Alcúdia with regard to the concept makes you wonder if it hasn't occurred elsewhere. It must have done, and the same mistakes and misinterpretations are surely being made there.

In Alcúdia, however, to make matters less clear, there is a website for this station. It doesn't work. For a time at the weekend it didn't even load. Yet, there it was, proudly mentioned on the publicity, assuming it was seen. There was another website, for the "Fiesta del Mar" which is what occurred on Sunday and which was one of a series arranged by the estación náutica people in their different resorts, but it was in Spanish only. At least it worked though.

As part of this fiesta, there was also an evening event. The "orange fiesta". Nice poster, shame about the language. Catalan only. I had an exchange on Facebook about this. Catalan is an official language and the fiesta was directed at locals. Well yes, up to a point, but Puerto Alcúdia is a tourist resort and why was the tourist office emailing the poster to those, such as myself, who have a stake in the local tourism industry? Moreover, the estación náutica concept is meant to be a way of attracting more tourists, of the so-called quality type.

But Catalan-only material appears all the time. In all sorts of resorts. The estación náutica concept, the publicity in Catalan are different types of example that raise the same question: what thought process lies behind any of this? Is there one?

I had a chat with a tourist about this. Is it stubbornness that results in the Catalan-only publicity? I don't know that it is. It's more likely a case that no one stops to really think who they are meant to be marketing to and what they are marketing. But who makes these decisions?

Alcúdia is a tourist resort with a highly diverse market. It would be impractical to put out material in all the languages necessary. But at a minimum it should be in English and German; more so than even Spanish, where tourists are concerned, as the level of Spanish tourism in Alcúdia is well below that of either the UK or Germany.

The counter argument is that Catalan (and Spanish) are the local languages and so this is how it should be. Sorry, but it isn't much of an argument. Not if the market doesn't understand either language.

Poor marketing occurs because the starting-point is the wrong way round. It should be the consumer, the intended market or markets, and it is this fundamental thought process that seems to be lacking.

I don't know that there should be an apology for the mistake in "The Bulletin". The apology should be coming from somewhere else. The trouble is you don't where that somewhere else is.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

And After All, You're My Wonder ...

So I pass by the tourist office in Alcúdia old town as they've called and want a favour. This is the deal: they're going to produce some postcards in association with the Oceanos folk in Bonaire. Some excellent photos of sea creatures, which they show me - the photos that is. They need an English slogan. "Paraiso," they keep mentioning (as in paradise). "No, no, forget all this paradise malarkey," I don't say, but do say something along the lines of the paradise motif is done to death. So I think and come up with "Alcúdia - an underwater wonderland". Trips off the tongue, it has a melody and a sort of alliteration. Quite good, I reckon. It's only afterwards I realise its similarity to "walking in a winter wonderland". Oh well, not to worry; still sounds ok. Anyway, as I was leaving the office, I said that I would pass by with my invoice. Thousand euros should cover it. Laughter all round. Ho, ho, ho. Like Santa guffawing in a winter or indeed an underwater wonderland. But why not, thinks I. Plenty. Apart from the fact that the town halls are notoriously bad payers, there is the fact that payments (were they to be made or indeed invoices submitted) have to meet some sort of "market value" test. What is market value though?

You, if you happen to be the creative director of a major ad agency, could probably slap in a five-figure bill for such a slogan. Especially in the UK. But we're talking a local town hall here. And in Mallorca. And something unimportant. This market value test, though, is becoming important. It is all part of trying to stamp out spurious invoices for often huge amounts that are raised without any work necessarily being done. The latest great scandal in Mallorca concerns the Palma velodrome. All manner of people have been implicated, and all manner of unjustified invoices seem to have surfaced together with payments of black money. Fair enough. It's the public purse that may or may not have been cleaned out. But let us assume for a moment that work has been done, and done well. Who is to say what the market value is? This is where this test becomes nigh on impossible to prove, unless there is some form of governmental going rate, as there is for many jobs. While the government may feel that it can establish rates for jobs such as waiters, how can it do so for something creative? I guess they can try, but ultimately a market value is, to state the bleeding obvious, a value that the market decides, in other words pretty much what anyone is willing to pay. Unless, that is, the market is controlled, which is what the authorities seem to have in mind.

This makes no sense in what is ostensibly a free market. There are ways and means of catching those who abuse public (and also private) funds by raising outlandish bills, as the velodrome case (and others) prove. But a controlled market value distorts the workings of the market. As with the daft calls for price controls for the likes of a cup of coffee, it really has no place in a modern economy. Not that I should worry, as there will be no invoice and no payment. Favours, always favours.


Oasis
Apropos yesterday, I need to thank Lynne for pointing out that Oasis played in Mallorca a few years back. Was it part of a Radio 1 comes to Mallorca thing? Or am I mixing these up? Doesn't matter. The Gallaghers did indeed once put in an appearance, not that they are likely to again; certainly not together. And it was the real Oasis and not the bunch which has the same name that pitches up on a regular basis at local fiestas.


Temperature watch
And so the heat goes on. The met boys say that the three months of June, July and August have been the second hottest since 1971, temperatures exceeded only by those of 2003. The average temperature for Sa Pobla for these months has been 25.4 (it was 27 in 2003). Sounds a bit on the low side to be honest, but that second spot is totally believable.


QUIZ
Today's title - a Blankety-Blank cheque book and pen if you can fill in the missing word, but don't bother with the invoice.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

We Want Information. Well You Won't Get It

The fiesta season has got out its finest party frock and will celebrate day and night, week in week out into August. Puerto Pollensa started yesterday and overlaps with Alcúdia's Sant Jaume, which gives way to Pollensa's Patrona and this, in turn hands the baton or perhaps the torch of the fire-run to Can Picafort (and Can Pic's fire-run is quite something). It is party, party for the next few weeks, but how much does the average visitor know about all this? Puerto Pollensa and especially Can Picafort benefit from fiestas taking place right slap bang in the centre of town; even without information they are hard to ignore. In Can Pic, you can't move without finding yourself in front of a hotel; two or three in some cases. Fiesta comes to the tourist in Can Pic, not the other way round. Then there are the fiestas in the old towns. Pollensa, one fancies, does quite well in attracting the tourist, partly because Patrona is well-known and partly because of all those villa dwellers who are the sort who might like a bit of local culture more than your regular pool-and-lager brigade. Alcudia, that's a rather different matter.

I have spoken before about information provision for fiestas and fairs, about the money that is lavished on some of the publicity and about the fact that this money and publicity is ill-directed when it comes to the tourist. Take Puerto Pollensa's Verge del Carme week. There is a beautifully produced brochure, 24 pages of thick card, artistically designed and packaged. And not a word of Spanish, German or English. It is vanity and parochial publicity at its worst. Why on Earth do they go to this expense? Pollensa town hall is heavily in debt, so it goes and spends an arm and a leg on some publication that is all but useless for the visitor. Don't let us fall into the trap of saying, ah but this is a fiesta for the local people and so it is right that the material is in their language. There is a sense in which the tourist is discriminated against and denied participation, and this at a time when Mallorca, and therefore its resorts and towns, is seeking to diversify into areas such as cultural tourism. Pay the tourist the right respect, and maybe he will repay this through those sought-after alternative forms of tourism.

They don't need to spend this money on such brochures though. Let's face it, a couple of sheets of photocopied A4 would be quite sufficient; they're promoting events not the creative ability of a graphic designer. Moreover, there is the internet, albeit that Pollensa town hall's website is that useless it falls to the likes of myself to put the information into cyberspace in English.

One of the problems is that the tourist departments in the town halls are out of touch. I accept that it is not they who necessarily are involved in generating the promotional material, but it is they who are in the front-line of communicating with the visitor, supposedly. And don't just take my word for the fact that they are out of touch. I had a conversation with the Alcúdia tourism people the other day, and it was admitted as such. Which brings me, or will, to a whole other area of discussion. And this will be for tomorrow, unless something else gets in the way. Have a nice fiesta.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Wild Man Fischer. And here, if you can stand it, is the "song" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHqR1Rql5r8). For those of you unfamiliar with Larry Fischer, here is also a short docu thing on him - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnHHk9z8iGE. Following the runaway success of Dimple Diamond's "Runaway Train", here is the latest of this blog's strangely big in Mallorca campaigns. Ladies and gentlemen, Wild Man Fischer. Today's title - not a song but a TV programme. Very famous exchange. Where's it from?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)