Guns n' Joses: Bauzá under attack

"Fewer guns and more schools." One of the less insulting insults hurled at El Presidente José Ramón Bauzá who has come out of his Palma bunker and deigned to visit the two larger towns in Mallorca most associated with opposition to his anti-Catalanism. Along with the insults was an egg. It landed on a police bodyguard, a baldy who, on first look, bore a strong resemblance to Bauzá's potential nemesis, Antoni Pastor, the mayor of Manacor.

It didn't seem to have been primarily anti-Catalanism that had stoked the flames of protest in Inca, though it played a part. Here was some good old-fashioned agitprop, a list of subjects for complaint as long as your arm, one that can hurl an egg. "More schools." Well, you never know, there might have to be more schools to cope with the government's potty decision to allow two systems of education to run alongside each other. The fewer-guns demand presumably had something to do with the police. The guns stayed firmly in holster in front of the baying crowd, though in truth it wasn't really all that baying. It was a crowd like crowds normally are. "Bastard" went one of the insults. Bauzá has been called worse and usually by trade union leaders - one in particular.

The Inca agitators were out on what was the second leg of a Bauzá protestathon that comprised only Inca and Manacor. Inca, it would appear, came in a fairly poor second. It could only muster 250 indignant youths (and they were mainly youths), whereas Manacor could stretch to 500. Well, Manacor is a bigger town, so this would explain the higher numbers among the rent-a-mobs. Manacor also outdid Inca in terms of its weaponry - pigs' tongues and full bottles of water went in the Bauzá direction.

A fair old amount of fuss has been kicked up by Bauzá avoiding the odd egg. It's undemocratic - all that sort of guff. It's quite the opposite. Protest is, or should be, part of the democratic process, especially when jobs are going down the pan, and the president in question hasn't got the faintest idea as to how they might be flushed out. Violent demonstration is no answer. Well, no it isn't, but there's violence and there's violence. An egg. This is violence in low-key Mallorcan demo terms. And low-key it all is. Manacor has a population of around 40,000. This would mean that 1.25% of the population turned out to demonstrate violently or in fact to just do what demonstrators do. Of the 1.25%, a number would almost certainly not have come from Manacor. Yet this is meant to be the main centre of dissent, thanks to Pastor.

The Inca and Manacor gatherings are just the latest manifestations of dissatisfaction with Bauzá, but like previous protests, such as in Palma, the numbers were hardly great. In fact, they have been distinctly disappointing. If there are to be demos, at least do them properly and gather more people than might meander through the turnstiles at a Scottish Second Division football match. Perish the thought that Bauzá might extend his protestathon and pitch up at some much smaller places in Mallorca. They'd be lucky to muster a man and his dog, which would not be good in agitprop PR terms.

And those who have been gathering have primarily been the youth, the usual suspects on such occasions therefore, who have come up against an opposition consisting of further youth, members of Nuevas Generaciones, who are like the Young Conservatives. Whereas the anti-Bauzá brigade all have dreadlocks and beards and earnestly attempt to find careers as graphic designers or potters, the Nuevas Generaciones are the Mallorcan versions of Tory Boy Hagues, preposterous haircuts (in the days when the boy Hague had hair), smug jokes and the wearing of ties.

For all that Mallorcans will protest about any damn thing, they don't really do protests. Not very well at any rate. You'd think that from the sheer number of protests that there are for this, that or the other thing, they'd have learnt some of the art by now. Forget the pigs' tongues, just hurl the whole pig's head. Don't stop at an egg, chuck an entire shopping-trolley load of perishables and produce, and then chuck the trolley as well for good measure.

There again, and on second thoughts, maybe not. "Fewer guns." Oh yes, I forgot about those.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.