Whatever You Do, Do Nothing: The follies of tourism promotion

Some corking gaffes have been made in the name of tourism advertising. Take the one of a photo of a man and a boy on a beach on the Costa Brava, an image of father-son bonding in a holiday idyll of a northern-Spanish style. The only problem was that it wasn't the Costa Brava. It wasn't anywhere near. It was a long, long way away. It wasn't bonding on Bondi, but it was down under. Western Australia. Father and son were Shane and Shane Junior.

The Aussies exploited the gaffe and came up with their own campaign that alluded to the mistake and which featured the gag: "Western Australia - it's Juan great holiday destination". My, how everyone must have laughed, unless they were on the Costa Brava or in the offices of the agency that mistook Oz for Spain.

Last year, when the Redknapps were enjoining the Brit tourist to not just book it, but Thomas Cook it, those with particularly eagle eyes and a sadly large amount of time on their hands carefully scrutinised scenes of the Balearics. There, as the video camera flew by, was Menorca. No it wasn't. It was Puerto Pollensa. Apparently. Not a non-fair dinkum gaffe in the class of the brave Costa Brava bloomer, but gaffe nonetheless.

To the honours list of advertising blunders we now have to add one that's been doing the rounds in Britain. For Turkey. Unfortunately, the posters offering seven nights all-inclusive don't show Turkey in its best light. They show Palma cathedral, the walls of Alcúdia and Cala Romántica in their best lights. A real turkey of touristic transposition, if you like. And if you don't like, then don't come complaining to me. Have a word with the div who should have shown a minaret and not a cathedral in a western Catholic, French Gothic tradition.

In the nearest thing you can get to a diplomatic row in the world of tourism promotion, ABTA and the London tourist office have been asked very kindly to deal with the matter by various indignant bodies in Mallorca. The director of the tourist office has said that as soon as they can find the agency responsible, they will instruct the agency and ABTA to remove the posters. Remove the posters and then smack whoever it was used the photos around the head with them.

Of course, it is most unlikely that most people, as in the punters, ever notice these mistakes, unless they spend their time poring over Thomas Cook videos and pausing for a freeze frame. It is also most unlikely that it makes a blind bit of difference. The combination of seven nights all-inclusive, 397 quid and Turkey is what gets the punter gobbling to attention. Some old church or walls? Who cares? Not interested in them. You wonder why anyone would think to use a picture of a cathedral to promote Turkey anyway. It's hardly the first thing that would spring to the potential holidaymaker's mind. They'd be better off using a photo of a kebab.

Given that only those who are in the know will pay any attention to what images are used, rightly or wrongly, and also given that the most important message is the bottom-line one of price and the actual offer, you have to ask just how powerful or important these images really are. In turn, this raises, once more, the question as to quite how significant some tourism promotion is.

We have a situation now in which, thanks in no small part to the excellent news of disturbances in competitor destinations, hotels in Mallorca are asking for Brit travel agencies and tour operators to hold back on selling for June because they fear there will be overbooking. Reservations are up by 12% as it is.

Exceptional circumstances perhaps, but the strength of Mallorca and its sheer reliability comes shining through in these revolutionary times. And there has, of course, been no great promotional campaign. Why should they bother having one? If tourists are going to fall into Mallorca's lap, then they may as well fritter away the small amount of cash the government has on something more meaningful, such as spending a thousand euros per letter to translate tourism agency acronyms into Chinese.

Alternatively, they could take the opportunity to ram the message home. Something like: "Come to Mallorca, we got shot of our dictator 36 years ago". But doing nothing is an altogether safer option. It removes the possibility of making a gaffe. Posters, for instance, showing Palma and its Plaza de España. But some idiot goes and uses a photo of Tahrir Square. There again, you might do so as a laugh - about as unfunny as the "Juan great holiday destination" admittedly - but chances are no one much would notice in any event, while the Egyptians have presumably got more pressing concerns than to fire off a reproachful missive to the Balearics tourism ministry.

The lesson of all this is that tourism promotion, and the attention lavished on lavish images, is about as pointless as making sure the images are the right ones in the first place. Was Nadal really cruising around off Balearics shores or was he in the Maldives? Who knows? Who cares? Not the punter. He wanted to know where he could find information as to the price of seven nights all-inclusive in Alcúdia, regardless of whether the walls of the town were in Turkey or not.

Tourism promotion. Whatever you do, do nothing.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.