Crossing Palms With Electoral Silver: Vote-purchasing allegations

It was Alan Sugar, who I suppose we do now have to address as his lordship, who made the accusation that Brian Clough liked a "bung". Cloughie denied it and El Tel denied having suggested to Lord Amstrad, as he didn't become, that "old big 'ead" preferred the bung delivered in a plastic bag at a motorway service station. An investigation into whether Clough did or didn't like a bung was dropped on account of his ill-health. Amidst all the innumerable corruption cases in Mallorca, a plea of ill-health has, as yet, been sparingly used as a reason for not appearing in front of the beak. Give them time, though.

There are bungs for this, bungs for that. Bungs for footballer transfers, bungs in exchange for votes. Allegedly. We have no way of knowing if the plastic bags that Cloughie preferred, if indeed he did, were from a supermarket, but when it comes to vote purchasing it would appear that a supermarket's bags were involved.

Those were the days. When it didn't cost a centimo to pay for a plastic bag in a local supermarket, as it now does. You didn't need to fritter away the odd centimo here or there on bags designed to hold some fish from the deli counter, while there were more important fish to both fry and fleece. Those were the days. Not so long ago. 2007 in fact. Local elections in Mallorca.

Back then, a case was brought before a judge in which there were allegations as to vote purchasing. It was archived because there was insufficient evidence. The whole affair has now re-surfaced as part of the anti-corruption case, popularly known as the "caso maquillaje" (make-up case), currently being heard in a Palma court. According to "Ultima Hora", a total of 25,000 euros found its way into the hands of leaders of gypsy communities. The purpose? Votes. Which party was allegedly behind it? Oh, come on, you should know which one by now. Yep, the Unió Mallorquina.

To be strictly accurate, the alleged bung was not in the supermarket bag. What were, were ballot papers pre-prepared for UM voting, ones to be handed out to friends, family and neighbours. Palms were crossed with silver, and into palms were pressed the voting slips, with crosses ready-made.

Twenty-five grand is a fair amount of wonga for securing the gypsy vote, or anyone's vote come to that, and the question as to where it came from - if indeed it came from anywhere, as it is still, as yet, an allegation - relates to the wider issues of the "caso maquillaje", namely charges of diverting public money for electoral purposes. And wonga slang is appropriate, by the way, as it is meant to have come from the Romany "wongar".

The accusation of, how can I put it, a touch of manipulation of the voting process is a further embarrassment for the UM. Recently, the former UM mayor of Muro, Jaume Perelló, was given a 12-month stretch for a spot of gerrymandering at the end of the 1990s. Try as it might, the party cannot shake off its past, and is unlikely to be able to while the various cases in which it is involved make their way through the courts.

A surprise in all this is that the party is still around. Still around and receiving overtures as possible coalition partners. If party loyalists turn up on the door step before the elections, I shall be paying particular attention to any supermarket bags they might have. If they don't have, there are any number of them lurking in the kitchen, all acquired at a centimo a pop, which is meant to deter their purchase and so save the planet, but of course doesn't. As they would otherwise eventually be chucked out and consigned to landfill, the UM will be welcome to them, so long as they return them, suitably wonga-ed up.

Between now and election day, the polls will give an indication as to how well or, you would think, how badly the UM will do. The party itself should employ its own form of electoral forecasting. Find a Gypsy Rose Lee and cross her palm not with silver but with the nickel, copper and brass mix of a euro coin or several. What will she see in her crystal ball? Not a tall, dark stranger, but someone altogether scarier. "UM, you're fired!"


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.