Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Every winter brings changes. What was previously that is now this or is in the process of becoming this. Some of that which is now this is fairly grand, such as the conversion of the old Alcúdia cinema into what is the Roman-themed Satyricon. There is also some of that which is to be that once again, apparently - the minigolf opposite Bellevue for instance. But nowhere seems to offer greater evidence of the transformation from that to this than Puerto Pollensa. Indeed the square - some know it as market, some as church - is in a state of empire-building. The yellow peril advances ever more in the form of the Dragon Oriente people and then there is of course the Bonyisation of Puerto Pollensa. For some, the devil that has taken the soul of the resort is a two-horned satyr, one being Grupo Boulevard and the Dakotas, the other being José, olé, and Bony. For some; not me.

There is a corner of a foreign market square that will forever be Bony - or "not forever" to use the rather enigmatic slogan that I tried to persuade José not to use. And that corner of a foreign market square is growing from both sides. Abutting what will be the yellow peril in the square will be son of Bony, Bony Mark II or, to give it the actual name, Más Bony y-to, which is a play on the Spanish "más bonito" (meaning prettier) in which the "más" will in fact be represented by a plus sign. "Don't cry." And "don't panic". That seems to be the latest José-ism. Corporal Jones to the rescue, or rather Bony with prices being cut to 2007 levels, more or less, so I understand. Of course, every time I pass Bony I am reminded of myself. It's that poster, the one with trousers rolled up and the clothes-pegs. Who do you have to blame for that? Yep, I'm afraid it was me; not the trousers and the legs, but the photo and what passed for design.

Elsewhere, the change has yet to be effected but seemingly everyone knows about it - it being The Nag's Head. However, I'm not going to go into it - the story - as it hasn't happened. Suffice to say that it was being spoken of in JK's where I had gone for the express purpose of taking the piss out of Kevin for being quoted three times in quick succession in "The Bulletin" apropos different things, including being the inspiration for the Pollensa tourism cash boom that isn't (as referred to on 26 February). Kevin is now a sort-of rent-a-quote for pretty much anything I think. What's your view of quantitative easing? "20%," said Kevin Park, owner of JK's Bar in Puerto Pollensa. Actually, between you and me, it's more than 20%. Because that's what Kevin told me. However, I am not in the rent-a-quote quoting business - yet. Anyway, what do you think about the Costa Brava Pyrenees Tourism Authority using a photo of a beach in Australia to publicise the 100th anniversary of the Spanish coastline? "Twenty per cent," said Mr. Park of Puerto Pollensa's JK's Bar. Yep, I reckon so, too. Odd thing though that the Spanish coastline is only a hundred years old. I would have said it was a bit older. But according to "The Times", that's all it is. Or maybe it's according to that tourism authority. Just so you know what I'm talking about, I quote (from "The Times") - "The photograph of a man and a boy standing on a white beach, staring out into a clear blue sea was used by Costa Brava tourism officials to mark the 100th anniversary of the Spanish coastline at the recent Forum Gastronimic (sic), a food fair in the nearby city of Girona." So you see, it definitely does refer to a hundred years - and that's all - of coastline. More embarrassing though is the fact that the beautiful coastline of the Costa Brava was not the Costa Brava but a beach in Perth, Australia. And to add to the embarrassment, the publicity company responsible (or should that be irresponsible, to use an old Peter Cook gag?) was the same publicity company that secured a photo of a beach in the Bahamas for another Costa Brava ad. Oops.

Kevin was first contacted by "The Bulletin" about the couple who got stuck in their boat in the Atlantic and who are now on dry land. Stuart, who is known to Kevin, was interviewed on Five Live's "Drive" programme yesterday. Though this whole thing has been blown up into a major story by, among others, "The Bulletin", he is - and I quote again - "amazed at how much hype" there has been, while he reckons it was "a storm in a teacup" and that he and his partner Andrea had "a lot of laughs" for the 40 days that they were floating around. If you missed the connection, Stuart and Andrea used to work at The Nag's Head, and that is why it became a story here and why Kevin found fame. I didn't catch all the interview, but I don't think Puerto Pollensa featured exactly; it will - and does - elsewhere.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Len Barry (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An1-ntyBcz8). Today's title - no clues given or needed.

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