The Mallorca triathlon. And no, don't get excited, I'm not telling you about an actual Mallorca triathlon. One, two, three. There are triathlons, iron man's (or men I guess) and other acts of insanity. Not so long ago I got an enquiry from someone who organises the Scottish junior triathlon team. They were going to be staying in Puerto Pollensa and wanted a swimming-pool. Go to Alcúdia. For God's sake don't try Puerto Pollensa's; they'll probably have drained it by the end of next week.
Anyway, I saw this towel yesterday - Mallorca triathlon it said. This was a towel as in beach towel. You wonder why anyone would think to buy a beach towel with the grey skies and the gathering wind of what is meant to become severe gusts. Maybe some do. The towel itself was a grey and black mix. Hardly the colours of the beach you would have thought. There again, tasteful in its contrast perhaps. Some grey tones; rather sophisticated amidst the garishness of yellows, blues and reds. But not really that tasteful when you studied what was written on it. The towel was the first one on the rack, hanging outside the sports shop by Eroski. That was how I came to notice it. Mallorca triathlon it said. And that is? One, two, three. Drinking, Eating and ... Fucking. Replete with little pictures; well, like cartoons. How are your sensibilities? Mine? I really don't give a damn. You can swear as you want. Be as gross as you want. Anything can go, but there is rudeness and then there is funny rudeness, and this towel does not come anywhere near drying off some funny rudeness; it is stupid, blatant and without any semblance of humour. So why does someone bother to produce it? I have no idea.
Much as there may be something of a counter PR effort to suggest that that Virgin hospital programme was anything other than the usual let's see how stupid some people who go to Mallorca are, you cannot escape the fact that many people who go to Mallorca are stupid. Stupid enough to want to buy a stupid beach towel with a stupid thing on it about triathlon and the gerund form of the f-word.
It's a month or so before the annual boat and sepia fairs in Puerto Alcúdia; the dates are in fact 4 and 5 April. Not everyone knows that. Like restaurants that might stand to benefit from being open and participating. I said to one such restaurant owner, who enjoyed a packed terrace on the Sunday of the event last year, that I presumed he was looking forward to benefiting this year. Not as such. Wasn't planning on opening until 6 April. When were the fairs again, he asked. 4th and 5th. I suspect he might rethink.
Last year some 10,000 people came to Alcúdia for these fairs. The boat fair is the only one on the island other than Palma's. It's a month away, and yet who is aware of it? Not every restaurant owner, that's for sure.
Coming back to Muro's mayor and his wish to see the train ending up close to the Muro boundary. One of his reasons - well the reason as far as I can make out - is that having the station by Es Foguero will benefit "murers" (those from Muro). Let's just think about this though. Firstly, people from Muro would actually have to want to use the train in the first place, and people from Muro, like people from the whole of Mallorca, have their lives dominated by cars - several of them in some cases. Secondly, it is not unusual to have to travel to a train station. And the people of Muro would actually have a fairly long journey. Some ten kilometres or so, if they live in the town of Muro, and the majority of residents of Muro do live in the town of Muro. What, for the people of the town, would be closer? A station by Es Foguero or the current end-of-the-line station in Sa Pobla? I think you may find that it is in fact Sa Pobla. Which would leave those who live in Playa de Muro, the majority of whom, whether it was sited by Es Foguero or by, for example, the Horse Roundabout in Puerto Alcúdia, would need to make some sort of journey (probably by car) to get to it. Were there a bus that went past Es Foguero, then this might make a difference. But there isn't. The Muro argument is a non-argument. The train will not be stopping at Es Foguero.
QUIZ
Yesterday's title - U2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWPosB-nTns). Today's title - sort of white soul from the mid '60s.
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