True Blue

The Conservatives are coming to Mallorca. Rejoice, rejoice.

In autumn of next year, the Conservatives Abroad organisation will, reports "The Bulletin", be holding its annual conference on the island for the first time. Among those attending may be eminent members of the party, such as "Oik" Osborne or the boy Hague. Just as well that it's in the autumn and not in August, in case any Russian oligarchs happen to cruise into a quiet Mallorcan cove and prove too much of a temptation for Oik to go scraping and bowing with his begging bowl.

True to form, the arrival of overseas Tories is being given some wholly hyperbolic spin. The local branch chairman believes that it will bring "political benefits" to the island, to which one might ask - what political benefits and for whom? He adds that there will also be benefits for hotels and business. How many delegates are expected? One hundred. Sufficient to fill a floor or two of a medium-sized hotel. As for business. Hmm, no I don't know either. I will concede, however, that the conference might prove positive in terms of promoting the island (for which read Palma and the immediate environs) as a convention centre. Now I think of it though, maybe it would be a good idea if Oik (or Gideon, to give him his actual first name) were once again to be exposed seeking to trouser some aluminium-made moolah. I suspect that a certain part of Corfu is enjoying record levels of enquiry for next summer.

One would imagine that the Mallorcan toryist, sorry tourist authorities, will leap on the Conservative bandwagon. "Come to Mallorca, where the sky is always blue and so are you." Might not play too well, however, with those with a red or orange preference. But why stop with the Conservatives Abroad? Get the real things over here. Labour could pack out Bellevue in Alcúdia for a week, no problem. And the likes of Prezza and "Two Pizzas" Clarke would keep the tills of the Mile's troughs ticking over faster than you could suck a small glass of sangria through a Jack Straw. Now that would be good for business.


OH GOD NO, MORE REAL MALLORCA
Yes, afraid so, the saga continues. Paul Davidson's non-payment of the money was, apparently, due to the fact that he wishes to establish a separate company to effect the transaction. Well, that's up to him, but it does seem a little odd that there seemed to be no prior warning of this potential glitch in the grand ceremony of the handing over of the wonga. All the parties had gathered for this - except one. Now, Mallorcans may have rather flexible notions of time-keeping, but when there's the small matter of 38 million euros to be handed over, then you can bet that they'll break a non-punctuality habit of a lifetime. That it has taken to this late stage though for it to emerge that a different vehicle is desired for completing the takeover - which effectively means the signed documents are null and void as new ones will have to be drawn up - should not, one might have thought, have prevented a quick phone call, like on Tuesday perhaps, to let everyone know that they need not attend the gathering. All very strange.

I am wondering though if the regular mentions of Real Mallorca here on the blog are not in danger of losing my vast local readership. I say this as, if I ask your everyday expat what thoughts he or she may have on this burning issue, the response is always the same. Couldn't care less. Couldn't care less whether a Brit takes the club over. Couldn't care less about Real Mallorca. This does all rather suggest that the grand plan of all those Brit expats schlepping off to the ONO stadium is a pipedream, which I have indeed suggested it might be on previous occasions. And then there are the Mallorcans themselves. Want to know who the Most Famous Mallorcan In The World, Manacor muscle, tennis number one Rafael Christmas, supports? Real Madrid. And where Nadal goes, others follow.


WIND AND MORE WIND
The island has been getting a damn good kicking from winds these past couple of days. On Wednesday, there was mayhem at the market in Puerto Pollensa when particularly malevolent gusts scattered some stalls and their products. There is, around and about, a fair old amount of damage, though reports of the winds being unlike anything people have experienced before seem somewhat exaggerated. High winds are not uncommon, and there has not been a repeat of last October's seriously damaging blast.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - The Doors, "The End" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHFK1yKfiGo). Today's title - a number one song by?

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Index for October 2008

Asociación de Britanicos Irlandeses Residentes Empresarios y Trabajadores en las Baleares - 24 October 2008
Attacks on women - 1 October 2008
Australian Boulevard - 27 October 2008
Balearic Government - 8 October 2008, 26 October 2008
Ball de bot - 11 October 2008
Banks - 5 October 2008
Bribery - 17 October 2008
Buses - 12 October 2008
Catalan - 1 October 2008
Civil War - 14 October 2008, 18 October 2008
Closed down - 25 October 2008
Conservatives Abroad - 31 October 2008
Corruption - 8 October 2008
Credit crunch - 5 October 2008, 29 October 2008
Crisps - 10 October 2008
Cyclists - 17 October 2008, 18 October 2008
Diet - 26 October 2008
Driving - 17 October 2008
Economic crisis - 5 October 2008, 20 October 2008, 28 October 2008
Elderly tourists - 10 October 2008
Eroski - 10 October 2008
Expatriates - 4 October 2008, 6 October 2008, 15 October 2008, 24 October 2008
Football - 7 October 2008, 16 October 2008, 21 October 2008, 30 October 2008, 31 October 2008
Football shirts - 2 October 2008, 29 October 2008
Franco - 14 October 2008, 18 October 2008
Gardens - 19 October 2008
Gay clubs - 29 October 2008
German bars - 22 October 2008
GOB - 13 October 2008
Gotmar - 15 October 2008
Hunting - 13 October 2008
Integration - 4 October 2008
International Brigades - 14 October 2008
Judge Baltasar Garzón - 18 October 2008
Languages - 1 October 2008
Local democracy - 3 October 2008, 15 October 2008
Maya civilisation - 30 October 2008
Menú del día - 26 October 2008
Mobile phones - 17 October 2008
Momo Gay Club - 29 October 2008
Mosquitoes - 27 October 2008
October - 18 October 2008, 19 October 2008
Parking - 17 October 2008, 22 October 2008, 23 October 2008
Paul Davidson - 7 October 2008, 9 October 2008, 16 October 2008, 30 October 2008, 31 October 2008
Pedestrianisation - 3 October 2008, 5 October 2008, 8 October 2008, 16 October 2008, 29 October 2008
Playa de Muro - 1 October 2008, 25 October 2008
Political parties - 3 October 2008, 26 October 2008
Pollensa town hall - 16 October 2008, 23 October 2008
Power station - 23 October 2008
Prices - 12 October 2008
Product labels - 1 October 2008
Puerto Portals - 6 October 2008
Racism - 21 October 2008, 28 October 2008
Rambling - 14 October 2008
Real Mallorca - 7 October 2008, 16 October 2008, 30 October 2008, 31 October 2008
Recycling - 9 October 2008
Residents associations - 15 October 2008, 24 October 2008
Roads - 3 October 2008, 5 October 2008, 8 October 2008, 16 October 2008
Scandal - 8 October 2008
Second World War - 17 October 2008
Son Real - 13 October 2008
Storms - 19 October 2008, 31 October 2008
Supermarkets - 10 October 2008
Tourist wants - 12 October 2008
Traditions - 11 October 2008
Trees - 24 October 2008
Unemployment - 28 October 2008
Unió Mallorquina - 3 October 2008
Winter tourism - 2 October 2008, 24 October 2008