Easy Like Sunday Morning

There was an article in "The Bulletin" the other day which was based on a chat with four British holidaymakers in Magalluf. It was not without some interest. Unfortunately, the paper does not archive its articles; otherwise it might be worth linking it so you could all read it. But there you go. Perhaps the most interesting part was the conclusion, as it is the first time I can recall anywhere in the English media here saying something close to what I have - several times. The writer, Brett Gibbons, said - and I paraphrase - that if the various authorities on the island asked people what they wanted, as opposed to presuming what they want, Mallorca may be able to re-establish itself as "Europe's top winter and summer holiday resort". I'm not sure if the island has slumped that much in summer terms, but winter-wise it obviously has. The conclusion felt like something of a vindication for what I have said before here. It relates, in part, to what I was expounding on 2 October (Here I Go Again), and also before in respect not only of the fact that winter promotions are put together which only touch the edges but also the fact that there seems to be little attempt to discover what the tourist might prefer.

The problem is, though, talk to a small group of holidaymakers and you only get a very small impression as to what tourists, in the wider sense, are actually thinking. The group's main concerns centred on prices, service and buses; I have devoted a good deal of blog space to two of these. One, that of prices, is now like a broken record. The complaint is that Mallorca has become too expensive. One wonders at times quite what visitors expect. Well, one knows what they expect - low prices - but they are unrealistic. The introduction of the euro and, as importantly, the ground rules for joining the European Monetary System may have had the effect of raising prices, but that is now long past. The fundamental reason for higher prices is that Mallorca has ceased to be a cheap place. The correction in the local economy may have been dramatic and unwelcome in many respects, but it has occurred and there is no going back on it. Once the "market" really took off in Mallorca, price increases were an inevitability; those currently cheap alternative tourist destinations of eastern Europe will eventually undergo the same transformation.

The poor bar-owner is not an idiot. He knows what he can charge, if only by looking at what the competition is levying. Some may charge to excess, but the majority do not. What seems to be unappreciated is the costs that bars face. When there have been calls for price controls on items like coffees, where are similar ones for the government to cap prices of the likes of energy and social security or for it to force landlords to cut their rents? Intervene with the market in one way, and you have, in the pursuit of fairness, to do so on a much wider basis. It won't happen. And it is not as if all items on a bar menu are expensive. Take the English breakfast. This can be as low as 2.50 euros. Bars make next to nothing on breakfasts; they are loss leaders.

Service I don't wish to go over again here, but buses ... Buses, that's something of a new one. My personal acquaintance with the island's public transport can be summed up in two journeys from Palma, one of which went less than according to plan when the bus broke down somewhere south of Inca. But at a touch over 5 euros to get back to Playa de Muro, the prices are nothing to quibble about; indeed they seem to be among the few things in Mallorca that can now qualify for the cheap categorisation. I suggest all tourists spend all day and every day on a public bus, so that they can appreciate island value for money. But these buses don't go everywhere you might want them to. And if they do, for instance between the east coast resorts and Alcúdia or Pollensa, anticipate several hours of bottom discomfort and do not expect to return for a week. The bus companies aren't daft either. That the odd tourist might want a direct route to some cutesy little mountain village does not justify a regular service for a regular public which would only need a bus once every few years when they're awaiting delivery of the new 4x4.

Maybe the tourist authorities aren't so stupid after all. There's nothing they can do about prices, any attempt at introducing something sensible like a direct bus route to the airport would only result in the taxi-drivers adopting guerilla tactics and letting the buses' tyres down, and as for a surly waiter or two, what are they going to do, dispatch the happy police to cuff the offender round the ear? No, what they should be doing, and maybe the conclusion to that article intended this, is to take an altogether bigger picture of tourist wants and needs, rather than seeking to implement something that has only minority appeal. But I've said all this before, and I don't want to start sounding like a broken record either.


LITTLE LOCAL DISASTERS
5 am Sunday morning. What's that noise? Not in the road. Inside. Water. Everywhere in the utility room and coming into the kitchen. A constant rush of heating. Some steam. The boiler has sprung a leak big time. It had developed one a week or so ago. The chap was meant to come during the week to replace a cover which had cracked slightly, causing the initial leak. He didn't. Water bloody everywhere. Isolate the fuse and switch it off. Turn off the mains water feed. Is there a stop valve for the boiler alone? Dark. Looking around with a torch. No sign. Chase the water out as best as possible and keep the doors open to dry everything out. No going back to bed. 5 am, sodding Sunday morning. Becomes 6 and then 7 sodding Sunday morning. And it's not just Sunday, it's the fiesta of Pilar, and tomorrow is a "puente" holiday as well. Try getting anything done here on a Sunday or especially when there's a fiesta around. Anyone know a plumber?


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Anthony Powell. Today's title - Motown-ers.

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