Merry Go, Merry Go, Merry Go Round, Ooo-Ooo-Ooo

It's been quite a while since this blog ventured around a roundabout. For those of you with long memories, you will recall that, for a time, here was a virtually daily tribute to the excellent accident opportunities afforded by the orgiastic creation of roundabouts along Alcúdia's Carretera Artà and to the roundabout furniture that grew from them. Talking of which, someone asked me the other day when they're going to get rid of that "thing" on the Horse Roundabout, that "thing" being the eponymous horse of course - allegedly and with due acknowledgement to Mr. Ed. Hideous, ludicrous, at least it gains a reaction, an Angel of the North sculpture with only a northern redemption and a complete absence of angelic quality. My guess is that the sculptor had a mate in the town hall.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, accidents. Or how to cause one or, if not a full-blown front-on collision, then at least a considerable traffic problem. Let's take those roundabouts with no substance, those pink blobs on the road. Bear in mind that one is meant to drive on the right here, though the many locals who drive down the middle of the road might disagree with this, and they would certainly disagree when it comes to the roundabouts with no abouts. Either go straight across them or, preferably, go to the left side. That would appear to be how the local drivers are schooled anyway. See a roundabout that is sort of only pretending, and just ignore it. Don't on any account go to the right as you will only end up blocking the way of the bloke who hasn't, and he will be very hacked off. And it will be your fault, as it always is your fault. And God forbid that plod happens to be passing. "¿Hola, hola, hola, qué pasa aquí?"

Which brings me to Puerto Pollensa and its new road. A fine bit of tarmac it is, too. But the roundabouts, of which there are thousands, are designed in such a way that not only do they prevent any form of lane discipline (not that this matters anyway), they are also so tightly laid out that they are best taken at a snail's speed unless you fancy mounting one of the high kerbs and ripping your under-carriage out. Moreover, they are also spoiling Trafico for choice. So many roundabouts, where to hang out? For an island that used to have but one roundabout not that many years ago, the place has become a veritable Swindon of circular driving, and now Puerto Pollensa has joined the ranks of Roundabout Cities.


And continuing a police theme, did you know that the marching season is nearly upon us? This is not some quaint old Mallorcan tradition, but a contemporary industrial relations tradition - one of demonstrating. The local police in Pollensa are none too happy with the town hall - working conditions, that sort of thing - and so they are going to down whistles, or whatever they down, and take to the streets. Heavy boots rumbling along the charming lanes and roads of the old town. Anyway, as this is a new event in the calendar, make a note for your diary - the first such march will be on 29 July, kicking off from the town hall at ten in the morning. And, apparently, there will be repeats on subsequent Wednesdays and Saturdays. Sounds like splendid fun, especially during the Patrona celebrations.


And following-up yesterday, a comment left suggested that your average tourist on being greeted either in Castilian or Mallorquín would reply - "do you speak English?" This is of course absolutely right and I thank "allanglens" for making the point, which only goes to emphasise the oddness of all this Catalan-restaurant carry-on.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Bill Withers and Grover Washington (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eJbEcq5LWo). Boring video; boring song to be honest. Today's title - which nutcase (and that is pretty much right) did this? Anyone who gets this has a personalised sculpture commissioned to be positioned on one of Pollensa Roundabout City's new road system.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)