I Did It Moll Way: All-inclusive in Puerto Pollensa

Now here, you might think, would be something that would send tremors coursing through the shaky old bones of the Puerto Pollensa indignant. Tagged on to the end of reports about Mayor Cerdà forming a "table", around which other indignants and he can sit and talk about dog shit, is this little old mention, as in the one from "Ultima Hora" - "the possible repercussions of all-inclusive in the Moll (port)". Has there not yet been a call for a great protest to storm the fortresses of hotel chains? People should be careful what they wish for. When the revolutionaries took to the streets on 2 June, one complaint was that no new hotels had been built down Moll way. Maybe there will be. Club Mac comes to Puerto Pollensa. God forbid. Tattoos and karaoke follow. Even more than now in the already dumbed-down PP. The perverse streak in me says "bring it on", but that is utterly ludicrous, as is the entire discussion as to hotel development - Moll way.

They don't need to sit around a table and discuss the repercussions. They can stand up, anywhere they like, and shout them out loud. Any fool could tell them.

Puerto Pollensa has been spared the ravages of the all-inclusive war that have razed much of Alcúdia, Playa de Muro and Can Picafort. But it is probably only a question of time. What tour operators want, they normally get, and they are doubtless eyeing up Moll way as the next big all the Saint Mick and pizza you can get through location. Or there might, instead, be the superior class style AI, the one with real drinks and without Johnny Vegas. But AI's AI, however you want to spin it. Don't think, by the way, that the town hall can do anything to stop the march of AI. It can't. Tour operators. Tourism ministry. Hoteliers. These are what you need to be aware of; forget the town hall, except when they're taking in the taxes.

All-inclusive in Puerto Pollensa, from what one can make out, is currently confined to Club Sol. Partial AI, maybe. AI that falls short of the full-on AI. Maybe it is full-on. You have to actually be a guest to know for sure. And that is how it is with AI. You don't quite know. Many a hotel is engaging in some quasi-AI arrangement or other, designed to make the punter part with some in-hotel dosh. Yet it is absurd. The full-on all-inclusive not only doesn't want to be all-inclusive, it also doesn't want the punters anywhere near the free drink, or around the pool - if it can help it. Get 'em out; that's the motif. Unlike the half-board or other non-AI hotels. They do everything they can to keep the punter strapped to the poolside bar or watching the World Cup (and the chances to watch the footy are limited in AI's - why do you think that is).

All-inclusive in Puerto Pollensa? Repercussions of AI in Puerto Pollensa? It doesn't bear thinking about, but it is easy to think about. Rather than the revolutionaries taking to clean the beach - as they're meant to be in the next "protest", and which will do even more to alert the hadn't-ever-noticed-the-shit tourist than the march in early June - they should be shouting out loud about those repercussions. Trouble is that they may have brought them upon themselves. Go figure.


* Just in case you don't get the title - the pronunciation of "moll" is "moy"; think rural English.


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