Saturday, May 15, 2010

Bras And Skinny Fits: Mulligans and Hornblower



What is it about women's clothes? They seem to follow me around, or maybe I'm following them around. And by them, I use them not in the personal sense but in the plural it sense. Let me just make that very clear.

Mulligans. Bar of the Puerto Pollensa parish. I'll be honest, I'd never set foot in the place until two days ago. Don't know why, just hadn't. Years ago, my then managing director, more of him below, used to refer to certain pubs as being "pubby pubs", as in they were very much like pubs, which was probably as well, given that they were. But I knew what he meant. They weren't sheds or post-modernist un-pubs. Mulligans is a pubby pub. It looks like a pub, feels like a pub, smells like a pub, it is a pub. I like the place.

It is under new ownership. Dave and Julie. Very talkative, Julie. It was she who got me onto bras. Bras were what she used to do. Essensual. I think that was the name. Marks and Sparks supplier and all that. I think. I did get a bit lost, probably as I was being unjournalistic and making all manner of interjections of an innuendo style. But swapping a bra for a bar seems opportune. Three letters, the same letters, just in a different order.

And then there is skinny fit clothing for the younger female. Brand name of Skinnifit. There were posters on the walls of the transferred-to-Puerto-Alcúdia Hornblower Embroidery. Shouldn't be allowed, I suggested, meaning quite the opposite, as I admired the posters while talking to Jan and then Les, they who are the hornblowers.

It was the opening do. The new place is in the Alcudiamar, otherwise known as just the marina. Seems sensible, given that the market is predominantly yachtie. Anyway, there was some talk of how the process of embroidering, Hornblower style, works. Shove it in a machine, press a button, that sort of technical detail. Made eminent sense to me. But beyond this, and it is remarkable (well it is to me) the tangents on which one's discussions go. Or maybe it's just me. The Hornblower series, I explained. A good mate of mine was the producer. Used to regale me of stories of filming in the Ukraine, Mallorca and wherever. And somehow we got onto the naming of children. Les had suggested the name of Scarlett for their daughter (their surname is O'Hara). It was vetoed. Graeme, from "Talk Of The North", mentioned that his sister was up for being named Ruth. Ruth Ellis. Not such a good idea. Last woman to be hanged in Britain. My old managing director was an eminent crime author. Pubby pubs were one thing. He also wrote one of the most important books about Ruth Ellis.

Talk, talk. And you never quite know where the talk will go. Bras, skinny fits, Ruth Ellis and, oh, Albert Pierrepoint. And who was he?

And nearly forgot. What nice folk. Mulligans and Hornblower. The photo is from the Hornblower opening.

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

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