And Have You Any Dreams?

Don’t let it be said I can’t offer a compliment or two, even to Leapy Lee. As some of you might know, I have had occasion to refer to the odd (in more than one sense of the word) utterances from the long-ago one-hit wonder. But in this week’s “Euro Weekly”, Leapy has penned something quite good: indeed it should serve as a warning to anyone contemplating coming here and taking a bar on.

The gist of what he says will be of no surprise to many who live here. Or you would think that, except that his “buyer-beware” advice could also apply to some who have lived and worked here for some years, Spanish and Mallorcan as well as Brits.

This is all the old rose-tinted spectacles dream of a bar in the sun, and the reality of what it can actually entail. The worst case is someone or some couple sink their money into coughing up for a “traspaso” only to find they cannot keep up the rent or other payments and are turfed out on their ears. Dream shattered.

Bars fail or succeed for different reasons, but a fundamental aspect of running one successfully is good cash flow. This is Business Studies 101, or should be. The entrepreneurs of “Dragon’s Den” may want to see good profits, but you bet that they pore over the cash-flow statements and projections as well.

I have spoken before on this blog about what makes for a successful bar or not. Location is pretty damn important, but it is not always the most important. Having run a bar before may be advantageous, but it too is not always the most important. Having a good marketing mix in addition to location (the place of the 4Ps together with promotion, price and product) is also important. But perhaps above all, there is no substitute for personality and sheer hard work. It is these two factors that are sometimes a bar’s downfall. Unfortunately, there are those who should never be let near a bar, let alone run one, either because they have some personality by-pass or are work-shy, or both.

You have to ask yourself – why do some bars under different ownership succeed where previously they did not? If Harvard Business School were to ever use this as a case-study exercise, they would do worse than look at the case of JK’s in Puerto Pollensa. Jane and Kevin had not run a bar before, but they took what was a failed bar (or premises at any rate) and turned it into the successful place it now is. They don’t necessarily enjoy the best location either. The bar is neither in the main square nor on the frontline, but it works.

Like most people here, I know of a number of bar failures: of people unsuited for whatever reason, of those who have done a runner, of those who would be hauled through the courts had they not done a runner. Leapy Lee advises being in the area for 12 months prior to committing. It is good advice, but it is not necessarily practical, and if a prospective new owner happens to be a complete dork, having observed a successful operation for a whole year doesn’t mean it won’t go belly-up. I also know of people who have lived in these parts for many years, some Spanish, some British, and they have failed, and not because they had non-personalities or preferred to pig out on a beach or prop up a competitor’s bar. Sometimes it is a question of luck, or rather its absence. Fire or flood perhaps, that big hotel over the road suddenly going exclusive all-inclusive, an economic downturn, a new, more sparkly place opening up next door. But even then it is not all down to bad luck. A bit of research can ascertain the nature of that big hotel, a bit of reading the newspapers can hint at what might be happening economically. Judging the nature of competition is probably an aspect that most fail to appreciate more than any.

Taking on a bar is not for the faint-hearted. It can seem like a dream, and sometimes it turns out that way, but sometimes it can be your worst nightmare. Put it this way, if there were to be a job ad, such as the following, how many would apply?

“Wanted. Bar Owner. Must have strong and likeable personality, the stamina of a National winner, the ability to stand for long periods (those with varicose veins should think twice about applying) and the patience of a saint (for dealing with Spanish bureaucracy and many other things Spanish as well as putting up with crashing bores and those to whom you wouldn’t out of choice give houseroom). Qualifications: electrician, plumber, carpenter, cleaner, business studies, chef (optional but helpful when the one you hired walks out at short notice), Spanish (not essential but useful), basic mathematics (ability to add, subtract, multiply and even divide), basic English (ability to spell). Financial commitment: take the asking price and double it just to be on the safe side. Own car and driving licence and own accommodation. Must pay all social security, tax and pension. Hours: typically 09:00 to 01:00 daily April to October (additional months optional).”


QUIZ
Yesterday – James. Today’s title – the line continues “you’d like to sell?”. Which Anglo-American outfit? At a pinch, I’ll take the Irish cover, which was better in my opinion.

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