The Annual Excursions' Lament

In the early 1930s, the Fomento del Turismo (Mallorca Tourist Board) organised island coach excursions which left its central Palma building at a quarter past nine in the morning. For eleven pesetas, tourists could choose from a small selection of excursions: one to Valldemossa, Miramar, Deya, Soller and Puerto Soller; another to the Caves of Drach (with concert) and the Caves of Ham; or there was Pollensa, Puerto Pollensa and Formentor. For an extra two pesetas, there was a trip to the Caves of Arta and Cala Ratjada.

One can only imagine the somewhat perilous nature of excursions using coaches of their time on mountain roads. At least they were more comfortable than stage coaches; once upon a time, they were all there were. Another positive would have been the absence of traffic. No hacking along twisty, narrow roads only to be confronted by a pelaton of cyclists and a queue of hire cars. The primitive coach operators, one presumes, derived profit from these excursions. They certainly wouldn't have had to contend with town hall bylaws on parking. There wasn't a trip to Sa Calobra, but nowadays the operators have to reserve parking in advance or incur a whopping charge, courtesy of Escorca town hall.

The nature of excursions has of course changed. The Tramuntana mountains, for instance, give rise to the island tour, one that combines coach with boat, tram and train in taking in Sa Calobra and Soller. Essentially, though, some of the excursions are much as they were in the 1930s. Some forty years later, the ladies of Coronation Street went to Valldemossa, though it required Hilda to remember the name of the place when Emily was writing a postcard to send back home. The current-day Valldemossa trip has run into similar issues as with Sa Calobra: saturation by coach, saturation by tourist. How very different things are in this regard from the 1930s.

The range of excursions available today includes these old faithfuls. And rightly so. Nevertheless, the Balearic association of travel agents suggests that new life needs to be bred into excursions. Innovation is required. The sale of excursions (by travel agents) has apparently slumped by 50% since 2011.

One hears this lament on a regular basis. A year ago, the association said that there had been a 40% decline over four years: 800,000 lost customers. Only one in three of all tourists was booking an excursion. This said, the association indicated that certain excursions were still holding up. They included the Caves of Drach, the island tour and Valldemossa: the old faithfuls.

A year on, and the percentage has risen by ten points: there's simple maths for you. Now, though, the emphasis has shifted towards a need for excursion innovation, while familiar reasons for the decline in the sale of excursions are still being cited: lower tourist spending power and the proliferation of hire cars.

Innovation may indeed be a factor, though one can point to certain operators who are innovative not just in their products but also in their selling, with a strong emphasis on social media. As with any business, innovation should be a given, but sadly it would seem as if it isn't.

There are of course the other factors. For some years, all-inclusives have been the principal target of the agents and of the attractions' association. The number of all-inclusive places, which rose during the crisis, has dented business. But this number is now falling as hotels and tour operators themselves adopt new products. All-inclusive remains a factor, but does it explain what the travel agents say is the unexpectedly high fall in demand this year? Some agents are reporting falls in sales of 20%.

An excursion, as with mostly all tourist spending, is a discretionary purchase. Holidaymakers' budgets will determine the purchase (or not). Add new costs to this budget and there is a further element in guiding the purchasing process. Is it fanciful, therefore, to suggest that the tourist tax is influencing the sale of excursions?

Lamenting lower tourist spending power flies in the face of what the Egatur surveys of spending suggest is the case: spending is going up. But who really believes this? The statistics are, by the very nature of how they are arrived at, not an accurate reflection of in-resort realities. And these realities include the cost of the holiday itself, which has gone up and which - as one can already see with prices being quoted for 2018 - will be going up further. It's not that there is a "cheap" form of tourism; it's that holidaymakers have forked out so much before they even get here. 

Expect, therefore, to hear more lamenting from the travel agents next year. Oh how they must wish things were like the 1930s, when the only tourists were wealthy and unconcerned by prices. Eleven pesetas, with hindsight, sounds very cheap.

*The video is a short one (sixty seconds) of Valldemossa in 1930.

The Revival Of The "Excursion"

There's a short film that those good people from Fotos Antiguas de Mallorca have loaded onto YouTube and which shows an excursion from Palma to Soller on the train. The date says 1930, though there is a short bit which shows a steam train. The electrification of the line was from 1929. There is a further short bit which says Ferrocarril Alaro, so maybe that was a separate excursion.

Be the trains as they may be, the film - black and white - is typically evocative of times past. By the looks of the trees the excursion would have been in winter or early spring, though had it been in summer one doubts if the dress would have differed greatly. Going on an outing in those days required attire, as one can see from other images of the era, to include a cap, a bow tie and a suit, which of course was just the men.

The excursion probably wouldn't have occurred in summer, however. Too hot. While the film shows people sitting or ambling around, it also features a spot of rambling and hiking. A somewhat bizarre aspect of this is that people - parents and children - are doing some clambering clad in their Sunday best (and it may well have been a Sunday).

It is just possible that there were "foreigners" among those on the Soller train. By the time of the film, "excursions" were an important aspect of early Mallorcan tourism. The word "excursionista" when translated - excursionist - sounds somewhat odd. It isn't a word that is greatly used, the preference perhaps being for a day-tripper or tourist. But neither of these words capture the essence of "excursionista". While it can be used more broadly, that real essence is one of an excursion into nature - rambling, hiking, enjoying the open air.

We were informed recently that there are some 300,000 hikers who come to Mallorca in the low season. It's a figure that I personally find hard to believe, but then other tourist statistics can seem somewhat fanciful as well. Whatever the real number is, there are - shall we say - a lot of people who come to hike and ramble. And for the tourism authorities - regional government and especially the Council of Mallorca - this open-air excursionism is virtuous tourism: respectful of nature and environment, or at least one hopes that it is.

A curious aspect of this seemingly recent promotion of hiking is that it is absolutely nothing new. This is why those trippers in 1930 - citizens of Palma, added to by one or two from Bunyola - may have been sharing the carriages with the odd foreigner.

The Fomento del Turismo, the Mallorca Tourist Board, was founded in 1905. Under the first article of its constitution, there are five particular objectives: things to be developed and promoted. "Fomento" means both development and promotion. The fourth of these states that it will facilitate in a practical way all types of excursions by ways (roads, tracks) and "hiking trails". There will be signs to indicate ways. There will be guides and there will be accommodation (hostels).

At the time of its founding, the Fomento recognised the essential need to improve Mallorca's transport infrastructure. A reason why was in order to indeed facilitate the fourth item on its agenda. What was to follow in terms of roads, railways, tunnels was driven in no small part by a need to develop tourism.

By 1908, two commissions - one for "improvements and excursions", the other for "information and publicity" - had produced a short guide to "excursions from Palma to the island's interior". These were excursions yet to benefit from the Soller train. In that same year, a specific group was established - Grup Excursionista Lo Fèmur. The translation isn't too difficult: the femur, the longest of bones, was necessary for this excursionist activity, i.e. walking.

So here is evidence that Mallorca's tourism was from the very beginning intimately tied to hiking and walking. The mountains were obviously a key aspect, though not exclusively, and over time - up to the start of the Civil War - the excursion broadened its appeal. It ceased to solely be for walking. It was a cultural trip usually involving a bus to key "attractions" on the island, such as Formentor and the Caves of Drach.

Although hiking has remained a constant since those early days, it is only recently that one senses a real determination to recapture the essence of the excursion that had been identified in 1905. The Fomento's wish for signage, such as now for the dry-stone route, has been a long time in really becoming complete.

The Council of Mallorca is very committed to this type of tourism, but it is one that always been there. It's as though we have gone full circle.

Built For Tourism: Mallorca's roads

They like their anniversaries in Sa Pobla, even if the anniversary isn't what typically might be thought to have special significance. One hundred years of electricity in 2012 were significant, 135 years of the train in 2013 were less so, as also are 90 years of the first bus this year. But, significant or not, centenary or not, they're all an excuse to look back to times when infrastructure was shaky and partial.

The first bus rolled into Sa Pobla from Palma ninety years ago. It was a further step, one separated by 46 years, in connecting the town and capital, the north and the south. The arrival of the bus was a welcome addition to a public passenger transport system that otherwise relied on the train. Yet, for all that 1924 marked an important development in public transport and 2014 marks ninety years of the Sa Pobla service, buses don't carry the same weight of history as the stories of Mallorca's trains, trams and indeed ships. Buses are less romantic. They are the neglected part of the island's transport history.

There was, however, an "omnibus" service in late nineteenth-century Palma some years before motor buses, those powered by an internal combustion engine, might have been available. The omnibus was a mule-drawn tram, and the service connected city with port. It wasn't until 1958 that Palma actually got a bus service; this was the year when trams were withdrawn.

But to go back further - to the 1830s - it was then that Mallorca began to have anything like regular road-based public transport; the first stagecoach service between Palma and Inca was established in 1837. In order to get anywhere by stagecoach, though, there had to be roads, and in the first half of the nineteenth century, those visitors which Mallorca used to get then were particularly critical of its transport network; roads were poor, very poor or non-existent. New roads did start to appear from 1845, but the road system was never more than rudimentary. It was the realisation at the turn of the twentieth century that tourism offered Mallorca an economic future which helped to bring about some improvement, the Fomento del Turismo (Mallorca Tourist Board), founded in 1905, being instrumental in persuading whoever it could of the need for such improvement.

It was, in no small part, the "excursion" which was the impulse behind the development of new or better roads. The tourist board invested in this infrastructure, as did town halls and private individuals, and they all augmented funds made available by the provincial administration. As an example, the road between Andratx and Estellencs was built with the help of one thousand pesetas from the tourist board and 1350 pesetas from the town halls of Andratx, Estellencs, Esporles and Banyalbufar.

Getting public money for infrastructure projects was far from straightforward. The state generally didn't pay for railways, other than through discretional grants, such as one which helped with the construction of the otherwise privately-funded Sóller train. The state did pay for roads, but getting authorisation could be a tortuous process and was not made any easier by constant political upheaval. One such upheaval led to the first dictatorship, that of Primo de Rivera, but this government proved to be heavy investors in infrastructure. In the year that the Sa Pobla bus service started, the government, noting the representations made to it by the tourist board, gave the go-ahead for a number of road-building projects on Mallorca. They were all projects with tourism in mind and so with tourist excursions in mind. Public transport was secondary. Or at least this is the impression one has.

There doubtless is information about early bus services out there, but if so it's not immediately apparent. What is clear is that by the 1930s bus services and road transport in general were genuine rivals to rail services. But where the bus services went and when they commenced operations is hard to say. 1924, therefore, may have been more significant than simply being ninety years ago. The service to Sa Pobla may well have been, at that time, the furthest by distance.

The projects that Primo de Rivera's government authorised certainly gave Mallorca a more coherent road network than had been the case. One road was that between Fornalutx and Lluc, which was the final part of the mountain road that started in Andratx and ended in Alcúdia. The road from Palma to Manacor and then to Portocristo received special funding for being a "national tourism circuit". And by the end of the 1920s, with the road system in some sort of usable state, the tourist board offered financial support to operators so that they could acquire large-capacity buses. The day of the "excursionista" had truly arrived. On roads built, not for public transport, but for tourists.

The Excursions Industry: Mallorca's travel agencies

Thomas Cook, the Mr. Thomas Cook that is, is attributed with having invented the package tour and the excursion. The trip from Leicester to Loughborough - train tickets and food all in - doesn't sound as though it was a barrel of fun, and the barrel most certainly wouldn't have been rolled out and included in the price; not when the excursionists were members of the Temperance Society.

Thomas Cook, today's Thomas Cook, still deals in excursions as well as package tours. The excursion, as far as tour operators are concerned, is a core part of their business. A Mallorcan attraction's business model may not be wholly dependent upon tour operators and their clients, but it does rely greatly on tour operators; you might be surprised to know just how much influence the tour operators wield with attractions, or there again, if you work for an attraction (or indeed a tour operator), you wouldn't be.

Travel agencies belonging to the AVIBA association reckon that the sale of excursions has declined by around a million over the past ten years. The decline is attributed to a number of factors, but economic crisis is the most obvious one. As such, therefore, there is an obvious question to ask. If economic crisis is so significant a factor, which it clearly is, why are the travel agencies referring to the last ten years and not the last five?

Reports of the decline in excursion sales are not new. In August 2009, the travel agencies announced that sales for that summer were down by 20%. What was interesting about the fall in 2009 was that it coincided with a shortage in the car-rental sector. Yet, rather than excursions receiving a boost from the lack of hire cars, they still experienced a fall in sales.

Three years on, there isn't the shortage of hire cars, but economic circumstances are much the same. The travel agencies now attribute the one million loss in part to the competition from hire cars, whereas in 2009 it was less of a factor. There are other issues.

Anecdotally, the evidence where excursion sales are concerned is similar to that with restaurant sales. Whereas a family might once have bought two or three excursions, they now only buy one, rather like they now only eat out once every two or three days and not every day. This is one issue. Another is the demand for certain types of excursion. 2009 is again quite revealing, as the travel agencies were pointing then to a dramatic fall in excursions to evening attractions; sales of these were down in 2009 by over a million compared with ten years before. The numbers sound rather familiar therefore.

Has this trend continued? Consider the experience of "Daddy Cool". How long did this show run this summer before it had to close? Not very long. It failed to meet expectations. I'm not surprised. It isn't the only evening attraction that isn't meeting expectations. Or so I understand.

While there has been a fall in the sale of excursions, the travel agencies are only part of the distribution channel. Which brings you back to the tour operators that have been pushing excursions ever harder as a means of compensating for any fall in margins on holidays. To the tour operators, you can add the independent excursions operators. And when one considers the efforts of one of these - No Frills Excursions - one begins to see another issue: marketing.

No Frills, licensed as a travel agency but not an AVIBA member, markets itself strongly, especially through social media as well as through multiple outlets (in the north of Mallorca). The travel agencies, by comparison, are essentially passive. They are complaining about falls in sales, but one fancies that they haven't moved with the times in confronting competition of different sorts, not just that posed by car-rental firms. There is also the whole issue of pricing; its own little story and not one I intend going into.

The overall picture would still, despite sales being made by other operators, reveal that fewer excursions are being taken than in the good old days. Yet the bread-and-butter excursions, such as to waterparks or the island tour, are holding up, seemingly at the expense of evening excursions which have the additional complication of entertainment that is now commonly available in hotels. It may not be entertainment of the same high standard, but if budgets are tight, one can understand that tourist purchase decisions might favour the day and not the evening out.

The story of the fall in excursion sales is not all it seems, but then such stories very rarely are. The travel agencies may be taking a hit, but theirs is not the only story in Mallorca's excursions industry.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Excursion sales have dropped by a million

Balearics travel agencies have announced that sales of excursions have fallen by a million over the past ten years. The decline is attributed in part to lower spending power. Excursions which have, nevertheless, maintained good levels of sales include the island tour and those to caves.

See more: Ultima Hora

MALLORCA TODAY - Inca looks to boost tourism

Inca town hall is in discussion with a cruise-ship operator to put the town on its list of excursions, a cultural route being planned together with the possibility for shopping; Inca being renowned for its leather industry.

See more: Diario de Mallorca

The Cruise Tourism Myth

By way of a coincidence, a couple of mentions of cruise tourism over the past few days had worked themselves into my consciousness. I referred to one of them yesterday; the other had simply lodged in my memory banks.

The reference I made was to Leo Hickman who has lumped cruise ships in with all-inclusive hotels in branding them one of the worst forms of tourism in that they generate little by way of benefit to local economies. The one I hadn't referred to, but now do, was to Puerto Alcúdia and a question asked by the restaurant association as to why its new commercial port was not receiving cruise ships.

In Alcúdia there was talk of it becoming a port of call. It was one reason why so much was invested in developing the new terminal and in deepening the waters. To date, it has not become a port of call and it may never become so. The restaurant association would wish otherwise, as it would hope to reap the benefits from stopover passengers.

The benefits. Ah yes, the benefits of cruise tourism to local economies. These are the benefits that Palma (though not exclusively Palma) derives from cruise tourism and which the city anticipates more of as the volume of cruise traffic increases.

But, as we are reminded not infrequently, passengers disembark, wallets bulging, ready to spend wildly, only to find shops closed. At least, this is one of the sticks which are used to beat Palma shopowners into opening submission and which is used to criticise an inert local tourism-related industry that spurns the opportunities from cruise tourists.

Alcúdia's restaurants presumably believe that they, along with other local businesses, would enjoy untold riches from passengers taking a bit of shore leave. Would they, though?

One of the most important pieces of research into the economic impact of cruise tourism was undertaken by the Policy Research Corporation on behalf of the European Commission. Based on data from October 2008 to September 2009, it looked at, among other things, expenditure by passengers. Of the top 15 ports in Europe, Palma was ranked sixth with around 53 million euros, a figure that rose to 70 million when crew and ship expenditures were added.

The report calculated specific expenditures dependent upon whether passengers disembarked during a stopover (and not all do) and whether they were joining or leaving the ship. The average spend was, respectively, 60 and 95 euros per passenger (the figure being the same whether joining or leaving).

In themselves, the figures seem healthy enough, but you need to dig down into them to understand what they represent. Mostly all the spend by a passenger joining or leaving a ship is on hotel accommodation; the spend of the passenger who disembarks for the day goes primarily towards an excursion of some sort.

The cruise ship functions in its own way. Because stopovers are short, it organises well in advance, as in booking excursions with a select few attractions/activities for which the cruise ship typically extracts a significant commission; and it is said that this can be as high as 50%, which immediately slashes that expenditure which gets into the local economy.

The ship has its arrangements with hotels, with a handful of chosen excursions and perhaps with certain shops or others, and a commission will operate in almost every instance. The benefit, in other words, tends to be spread very thinly. And where the passenger has some "free" time, what can he actually contribute over and above what has pretty much been pre-determined? P&O, for example, lists Pollensa and Formentor as one of its nine shore excursions. In Pollensa there are 30 minutes "to do as you choose ... it is the perfect place to have a morning coffee".

And so that's about it. A coffee. Very little, and the restaurants of Alcúdia might bear this in mind, is actually spent on food. It's the same issue as with all-inclusives, as the passenger has generally already paid for his food on the ship. At most he might buy a small snack and the odd drink while on shore, and that's it.

There is plenty more that could be said about cruise ships and cruise tourism; about the environmental damage caused by ships, and which is greatly understated, or about the fact that little or no direct employment is generated. A benefit does come from cruises, but it is not as great as might be thought, a point made by Professor Paul Wilkinson of Canada's York University, and a leading researcher into cruise tourism, who has said that "cruise visitors have little potential economic impact".


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

A Free Bag Of Crisps: Spanish pensionistas

It's the moment that bars dread. They see them coming. Should they put the shutters down swiftly? Should they flee? Take to the hills? They come ever closer. A huge gaggle of them. An invading army commandeering a bar. A court like that of the Catholic Kings which would turn up wherever it would on its itinerant and peripatetic caravanning around Spain and take over a hostelry or several. British bars generally are spared, because they are British. It is the Spanish, the Mallorcan bar which bears the brunt. Who or what is this unstoppable force? It is that of the Spanish pensioner. The pensionista excursionistas.

Maybe bars should join together and arrange for lookouts at all access points into a town or resort. These lookouts could warn of a sighting of a coach that isn't loaded to the gunwales with nice, friendly, grateful, money-loaded tourists from foreign lands. Beacons should be lit. Rockets fired. The pensionista charabanc has hit town.

The noise alone is bad enough. An elderly Maria, having secured a corner table, shouts across the room to another elderly Maria, and so it reverberates, back and forth, the pensionista vocal ping-pong. If it's Spanish, it is not quite so decibel-shattering. If it's Mallorquín, it breaks the sound barrier. A Concord boom of wailing. Cats on hot tin seats, screeching.

A bar in Alcúdia town was once deceptively Spanish. It was run by two British chaps. The pensionistas used to be blissfully unaware. They would enter, take over every available seat, place orders for a cortado or a caña and then ... . Then they would issue their demands. Demands which were greeted, not by the resigned acceptance of a Spanish bar owner buckling, as though some protection-racket extortion were being performed, but by a curt four-letter word accompanied by a three-letter one (or their Spanish equivalents).

The demands are for free plates of crisps or olives or nibbles of other varieties. While a bar might commonly dish these out in any event, it is not the norm for them to be demanded, and demanded by entire busloads. But it is, and it is expected. The other norm is for the cortado to act as a lubricant to the packed lunch or boccadillo that pops out of many a handbag. Yet a further norm is the time. These are never swift cortados, these are never in-and-out jobs. The bar owner looks on forlornly, calculating the revenue from the cortados and balancing it against the loss from platos combinados that sit in the kitchen, waiting for their microwave. And waiting.

The bar is not the only potential target. Also in Alcúdia town, a friend explained how once there was a ring on the bell of her house. A pensionista was on the doorstep and asked if she might use the toilet. Being of a naturally altruistic disposition and being confronted by some Spanish antiquity in need of relief, she took pity. Pity which quickly turned to rejection when, as with male hitchhikers who hide behind a bush while their female companions flag down an unwary driver, the toilet-seeker called out to her compatriots. Household lavatories are ill-prepared for flushing on fifty occasions over a short period of time. Always assuming the period of time would have been short. And there was no guarantee of that.

Moving on from the pensionistas and, for once, a second, unrelated subject. Mallorca Rocks.

The confusion that surrounds the concerts at the hotel this season grows, the regional tourism ministry effectively turning down a request for a licence on the grounds that it doesn't have the authority to grant one. Where are we at with all of this, if, as reports seem to suggest, the hotel cannot make the concerts open to the public (which presumably means an entrance-paying non-guest)?

The opposition to the concerts is, notwithstanding issues in respect of licences, unfortunate, to say the least.

Ask yourselves this. How can these concerts that would bring music acts of international renown to Magalluf and the island, that would positively enhance the reputation of resort and island, that would be a smack of originality among what is all too often a poverty of innovation, that would, moreover, finish before midnight on their once-weekly occurrence be anything other than a benefit, and one not just to Mallorca Rocks? I'll say no more.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

Market Forces: Inca and other markets

An item of news that probably slipped under your radar a few weeks ago was the seemingly non-earthshattering report that leading tour operators, e.g. TUI, were planning to put Inca market back on their excursions' itineraries.

The market, for all that it boasts being one of the island's most important, if not the most important, and for all that its best-known event is November's "Dijous Bo", has not been as good as the "bo" in "Dijous" might have us believe. Or indeed, have the tour operators believe.

Excursions to the market were dropped last year; some operators had done so before this. The reason was that the market, though huge, had lost much of its attraction. There was in fact too much of it, and much of this too much wasn't much good.

Inca town hall, recognising full well that coach loads of tourists not turning up every week means less money in everyone's pot, set about remedying the situation, and agreement with the tour operators was forged in early April. More local craft stuff, a bit of the old ball de bot traditional dancing and, perhaps most importantly, getting rid of some of the stallholders. A total of 49 have been told they will not be pitching up at their pitches any longer, and some of them have come onto others' radars - those of the tax man and social security.

Seeking to maintain the standards of the market was fair enough. Complaints about its overall quality and ambience increased last year. The town hall was forced to act. But it had taken the tour operators to really shake up the market's supervisors.

This goes to prove what should be a principle accepted by many involved in the island's tourism business: that the tour operators can make or break an attraction, a hotel, or even a market.

Those in the front line of encounters with the tour operators do of course know this well enough. Recently, I happened to be at some apartments when the new owner was showing Thomas Cook's representative around. Once Mr T.C. had gone, the owner, beaming and rubbing his fingers, said that they would be signing a contract for a third of the apartments.

Back at Inca market, the tour operators had a legitimate point about its standards. But the fact that they acted and thus threatened the enduring success of the market demonstrated that even Mallorca's traditions can be influenced by companies from Germany or wherever. You do begin to wonder if there isn't more of this influence around. The fiestas, for example.

Inca market is not, though, an isolated case. Friends of mine who had not been to Sineu's market for many years went a couple of weeks ago. This market is one which also enjoys the reputation of "traditional" and of being one of the markets that should be on every good market-goer's schedule. They were disappointed. It wasn't as it once was. It could be just like any other market.

The importance of the markets, not just for tourism but also as aspects of the fabric of local communities, has been highlighted by the temporary relocation of the market in Puerto Pollensa. Though not a traditional market in the same way as Inca or Sineu or even Pollensa town, the Wednesday market in the church square is popular.

While the square was being dug up, the market was shifted to a car park. For reasons known only to themselves, the town hall suggested that this move might become permanent. A survey of stallholders was meant to have taken place, but they probably gave up after the first few replies.

Besides the fact that the new site meant an obvious loss of car-parking spaces in a town not blessed with easy parking, the notion of it becoming the permanent site was absurd. Puerto Pollensa's market may not be traditional, but it is also not a car-boot sale.

The markets have become more ragtag affairs, and I think we all know why. It is important that they don't end up becoming like car-boot sales or flea markets for the lookies clan to ply their trade. The tour operators' influence may be vast, but where the markets are concerned, and for Inca market in particular, the influence is not unwelcome.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

I'm A Cowboy, On A Steel Horse I Ride

It's not Southfork but it is a ranch. I was there the other day. Rancho Grande. Big ranch in a small country, well island. There is though a touch of the wild west even if we are heading to the east of Mallorca. Wild, as this is just land, dust, mountains to the back, dunes away towards the beach at Son Serra. Otherwise there's the house, in which one might anticipate Ben and the boys pondering the Ponderosa - Hoss and Little Joe, the two least likely of television brothers until Coronation Street tried to claim that Steve and Andy McDonald were twins. But of course there are no Cartwrights, only Pepe and the rest. And past the house is the terrace and the vast barbecue before one gets to the little zoo, the wagons, the swans, the peacocks and parrots and all those horses. The land, the ranch stretches away, and one awaits the arrival of an imaginary posse or Wyatt, Wild Bill or Jessie. I'm a cowboy; I'm wanted dead or alive.

Take the entrance track and there's a cowgirl on horseback to greet the visitors and to usher them towards the photo shoot. One of the first times I went to the ranch, a group turned up and one of its members started belittling the head and shoulders photos with a cowboy hat. Forget your cynicism. And maybe you'll forget a lot more as the sangria flows, the barbecue is stoked and the music starts. There used to be the single worst act I have ever seen in Mallorca at the ranch, and that is saying something. But he was that bad he was brilliant. And keep forgetting that cynicism and stomp with the line-dancing. There is music, much of it cowboy-themed; Natasha Bedingfield seemed somewhat incongruous the other day. In this vast open space there is not too much worry about neighbours and limiters, the music drifts out towards the darkness where somewhere is the sea and the moonlight riders.

This is the most friendly of places. I'm standing by the queue for the photos and a quad bike comes bumping across the raw-sienna earth. "Hombre." It's the Spanish learnt from Westerns. Hombre, amigo. On the straight stretch of road heading out of Can Picafort towards Son Serra is a sign off to the left which bears the words "El Paso". It's not John Wayne but Pepe on the quad; I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. Another time I was standing at the same spot and this boy asked me if he could stroke a horse. Sometimes you detect a sadness, and it was touching as the horse blew gently. Animal therapy.

Some things come and go, but there has been a Martorell family horse business since the early '60s; it used to be in Puerto Pollensa. Forty-five years and they issued a photo souvenir to celebrate. Grainy photos of Pepe and his father, a shot in the streets of Muro in from 1966 and from 1973 by the Molins bay at Cala San Vicente, and then to today and the animals, the dancing and the cowboys.


HOUSE OF PAIN (THE BREAK-IN REMIX)
I bumped into John-Michael this morning. A lot of folk know Michael; one-time Bar Bamboo, then he ran Dreams for a period and was at Epcot after that. How is it all going? Ok, but shit. Why's that? Break-in. First-floor flat around the Magic area of Alcúdia. A couple of grand swiped off a credit card plus DVD player, PC ... .

You kind of expect tourist places to be more of a target in summer, but by no means exclusively. One neighbour had a break-in two Augusts ago; another, kitted out with state-of-the-art security (well now anyway), woke up to find an uninvited guest in the early hours. My place was done in February; more like you might anticipate as there's no one much about. I have a cricket bat, my old Gunn and Moore. It has a fine sweet spot. For one with a reputation as a Chris Tavaré dogged opener, the time I got in one good stride to an opening quick and with not much effort watched the ball sail far and far over his head into some Cambridgeshire woodlands was testimony to its good middle. It's heavy as well, a 3-pounder. It stands in a convenient position in the house.

There was that politician recently who said that the "crisis" might result in more crime. Could be, I guess. One thing is that there are going to be more this winter who have not done the required number of months to qualify for unemployment benefit. Michael was saying that it's not as if this is the first time there has been recession; it will be about the fourth in four decades. In the past people have just struggled through as best they can. But people change and the number of people increases, and so the temptations and the opportunities change and increase. It's not though that it's a case of robbing from the rich. The million-euro and much more villas have tended to be the magnets; not only them now, according to the Guardia. Anything will do.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - "Jump Around" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZZADbubu0Y). The Robin Williams connection? Among the schmaltz of Mrs Doubtfire was a funny scene of a kids' party with this as the music. Today's title - I never got it with this band, but this was damn good.

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Beach Baby Beach

I don't know. Would you take your laptop onto the beach? Sand flying everywhere, hands covered in sun lotion, the glare making the screen invisible. Presumably there will be some covered area, but the idea of a Wi-Fi zone on Puerto Alcúdia's beach seems a tad unnecessary. Can we not do without the Internet (and our mobiles come to that) just for a bit? Seems we can't.

This is just one idea that the town hall have dreamt up to transform the beach into what verges on a hotel on the sand. A chill-out area with sunbeds, whatever that is, kiddies' play areas; add the Wi-Fi and it could be just like a hotel but with a giant pool (the sea).

All this is reported on today in "The Bulletin". It goes on to mention new access ways for the disabled and showers (which are fair enough). There is also to be a tannoy system to inform the sunlovers of events taking place on the beach, which sounds ominously like "Hi-De-Hi". Will Gladys be inviting the masses to a knobbly-knees contest by the beach bar? It seems a bit contradictory as well. There you are, relaxing in the chill-out area, and then comes a blast over the PA. "Good morning, campers, at 11 o'clock there will be a Donkey Derby in front of Sunwing." And because Alcúdia is such a cosmopolitan place, the announcements will have to be in several languages, or maybe they'll just do them in Spanish so no one will have a clue what's going on.

I mean, I can see where they're coming from. Information and access to information are no bad things as such, it's just - is this all necessary? The help for the disabled and the showers, absolutely, but splashing out a million or so euros to be able to say that Alcúdia is the first beach to offer all this sounds a touch vain. As for this chill-out area, if this is meant to be a kids-free zone, how do they stop the kids entering it? Children, strangely enough, have a habit of just wandering into places. Are there to be warders with grim faces patrolling the chill-out areas, shouting at an errant infant - "oi, you, 'op it". Except of course it would be "fuera, fuera" and a small child upset by this nasty man, breaking down into a bawling fit. So much for a chill-out area. There's one other thing. It is already the case that a day out on the beach involves transporting the entire contents of a Currys shop - mobile, MP3 player, digital camera, digital camcorder. So adding another item, a laptop, just about completes the set, save for a 42-inch screen television and home cinema system. All this kit though adds up to a tidy sum in terms of value. I just wonder if the addition of laptops might not be tempting for those of a light-fingered orientation.

But being a beach thing, nothing can be done without the say-so of the beach jobsworths, the authorities that give consent for anything that moves or stays put on a beach nowadays. Beach being public space and in the protected zone 100 metres or so from the coastline, nothing gets done without a stamp of environmental approval. Not that anything that is being proposed sounds particularly intrusive in this regard, though I am sure they'll find something. Wouldn't be doing their job if they didn't. Noise pollution. Those tannoys. Hmm.


SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT - NO FRILLS EXCURSIONS
Yes indeed, a special announcement to say that No Frills Excursions will be open for trips from 15 March this year, a good deal earlier than in the past. For obvious reasons, like not everywhere being open, the March and April programme will not be as full as the main-season programme, but there is still a goodly amount on offer. Go to the WHAT'S ON BLOG to see what there is.


QUIZ
Yesterday - The Intruders. "Win, Place Or Show". Today's title - a truly awful record by?

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If You Want It Do It Yourself

What is the point of tour operators? Think about it. Break the package down, and what does it comprise? The transport, normally the airline; the transfer; the hotel or accommodation. What are the add-ons? An often ill-informed and unresponsive rep who oversees the transfer and then offers some excursions – the tour operator’s excursions – and gets “incentives” from bars and restaurants for recommending them. The odd map or publication perhaps.

Take away the three core elements – plane, transfer, accommodation – the added value amounts to little, and it can be got in any event. You don’t need a tour operator to sell you an excursion – they can be bought easily enough elsewhere and sometimes at lower cost and with better service. You don’t need a map or publication; they exist anyway. The internet offers them – www.thealcudiaguide.com for instance.

Ah, but what if there are problems? With the hotel or with illness? Maybe, but even then the rep can amount to next than useless. This is not to criticise all reps. Some are very good, but many are not. You might remember me posting an exchange I had with a rep at the Oro Playa in Puerto Pollensa – the one about the pinewalk. The rep did not know where it was, yet had been at the hotel for a good couple of months. The pinewalk is roughly two minutes walk from the hotel.

My understanding is that the tour operators are wanting to cut back on their “human” service as it is. They know that fewer and fewer people bother with the excruciating welcome meetings. Thomson, for instance, has a helpline service anyway. The tour operator may well offer its own kids’ club activities and entertainment, but many hotels have their own.

But the key issue is that of price. Doing a holiday “DIY” can result in significant savings. Book with a low-cost airline, book the accommodation through the abundance of bonded online agencies or direct with the hotel, and book the transfer with a taxi firm or transfer operator. The transfer may be a sticking point for many, but the tour operator doesn’t exactly exclude this cost from its pricing. There is an advantage – none of all that dropping people off at other hotels before finally reaching your own. Add these all up, and you are still often going to be quids in.

The advantage of the tour operator, obviously, is that it is all done for you, but it is the very nature of the “package” that creates the additional cost. In theory, with the buying power of the major tour operators, one would have thought that they would be more competitive on price, but this is not necessarily the reality. There is though another side to that buying power, and that is the security that hotels get from contracting to a tour operator. This guarantees the hotel’s return and also limits the number of spaces available independently. However, the hotels are increasingly prepared to deal direct or through an agency.

There are parts of the world where booking through a tour operator makes perfect sense – it gives a peace of mind that DIY might not offer. Mallorca is not one of these parts of the world; it also has the distinct advantage of being served by a number of low-cost airlines. And there are real savings out there. For the north in Alcúdia, Pollensa or Can Picafort: EasyJet or Jet2; AlphaRooms or Travel Republic; Majorca Airport Transfers or Just Transfers. No Frills Excursions for the excursions. The guides and websites I’m involved with. One might even mention the mobile-phone service of Travel Buddy as an additional point of assistance. Why bother with a tour operator?


QUIZ
Yesterday – “The Killing Moon” was Echo And The Bunnymen. The missing names were The Johnsons and Belle. Today’s title – American female soul singer, a survivor.
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Just A Perfect Day

AN ALCUDIAPOLLENSA.BLOGSPOT.COM SPECIAL

From the first encounter you know it will be good. A welcoming smile, a handshake, a sir, a madam; not a simple and often disinterested “hi there” or worse still a “hello, mate”, but a greeting that smacks of client care and professionalism. That client care and professionalism last the whole of the trip, and it is a long trip, a day tour of the island with No Frills Excursions.

What is it that makes for a good excursion? For a tour into the Tramuntana mountains, a catamaran to Port de Soller, the tram to the old town of Soller and then the train to Palma, it is easy to identify the essential components - a comfortable ride, terrific scenery, a stop here and there, a walk here and there. These are the basics. But one asks again - what makes for a good excursion?

Some visitors prefer the freedom of touring the island independently, but many want the organisation of an excursion. They pay for that scenery of course, but they also pay - or rather have the right to expect that they are paying - for something a bit extra. It’s that old management and marketing motto of “added value”. It’s also attention to detail and the notion of putting the customer (sorry, client) first. And client it is. Not customers, not “people”, not “some folk”, but clients.

That question again - what makes for a good excursion? In terms of the island tour, the scenery from the coach, the catamaran, the train is vital, as are the tranquility and sheer awe of the mountains. They all make for a magical experience, a day quite like no other. As does coming across a horse and trap on the hairy mountain road, seeing the mountain goats on their pinnacles of rock, taking in the sheer-faced sleepiness of the cove at Sa Calobra, seeing the new chic of Port de Soller, hearing the rattle of the tram to the town of Soller. All of these things.

But there is far more to it. An excursion, much like a bar or restaurant, is highly intangible. There are the physical elements - the view, the drink, the meal - but it is the rest that makes the difference. That difference lies with a history of the road that runs from Alcúdia to Puerto Pollensa; lies with giving a geological explanation for the different colours of sand in response to a client question; lies with stating and then re-stating important information (times of meeting for instance); lies with the called-ahead orders for a restaurant; lies with the organisation of clients within good time for the tram journey; lies with the touches of humour and all the additional information; lies with being available all the time. It was Toni on this occasion, but it could have been someone else at No Frills. And all this carried off with patience and courtesy; all carried off in October during a long day trip at the end of a long season.

Just in case you are wondering. A friend went on the No Frills island tour. This is an interpretation of his day and his impressions. This is no article in exchange for. The trip was paid for. This is an independent opinion. “Brilliant” was the word; that summed up a perfect day.



QUIZ
Yesterday - Jan and Dean. The Carpenters only as a last resort. Today’s title? Way too easy, so on the BBC version who played the sax solo?

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Ten Years Of Giant Maze Fun

AN ALCUDIAPOLLENSA.BLOGSPOT.COM SPECIAL

If you go down to the woods next to the beach in Playa de Muro, you will get a pleasant surprise, or maybe even a shock. Water monsters, wacky wizards, crazy clowns, pirates of the Mediterranean, jokers, witches and fairies. They are all lurking under the pines in the El Laberinto Giant Maze Fun Park which this year celebrates its tenth year.

The brainchild of Jake Boas and his family, El Laberinto started in Menorca in 1995, and was then recreated in Playa de Muro, Jake and his brother Jason building the maze that occupies all of 1500 square metres just a few paces from the renowned beach in Alcúdia Bay. And it is a real feat of construction. The precision of the wooden panels allows the maze’s layout to be changed, and this precision is to a matter of millimetres. This impressive site is the foundation for one of northern Mallorca’s foremost attractions.

The maze is more than just a case of getting lost or of escaping, there are games to be played as well, such as the memory game that requires you to remember pictures you have seen as you try your best to get out. But if getting lost is not bad enough, you may have to contend with the sudden appearance of a water monster who will soak you if you are not quick enough. There are now though allies in your encounters with the monsters - the pirates of the Mediterranean who will help to chase them off or to attack them from the new castle situated in the centre of the maze.

El Laberinto is very much geared to family entertainment, especially obviously to children, and it draws its “victims” from both a local and a tourist market. A favourite for groups and parties, El Laberinto each year attracts gangs of excited children from Alcúdia who participate in the annual “viu l’estiu” summer series of events organised by the town hall. The maze’s popularity among tourists can be summed up in the words of one parent: “Our kids can’t get enough of it. We’ve been back almost every night, and each time there has been a different character and challenge.”

So, as the giant maze celebrates its first ten years, here’s to the next ten years: ten years which give you plenty of opportunity to, in the words of El Laberinto, GET LOST!



The El Laberinto Giant Maze Fun Park Fact File:

Where is it? Calle Anecs, Urbanisation Ses Fotges opposite the Grupotel Alcúdia Suite, Playa de Muro.

How much is it? 7 euros a go for adults and children, but if you come for a repeat visit, keep your ticket and you will get 50% discount.

What ages does it cater for? All, but little ones definitely need to be accompanied.

What times does it open? Every day from 10:30am till 10:30pm. May to October.

Can I get any refreshments? Ice-creams, sweets and drinks.

Can I find out more? There is a website - www.amazenlaberintos.com.


(This article will appear in the next issue of “Euro Weekly News”.)