Gonna Tear Your Playero Down

Well, they went ahead and did it, as they said they would once the season had ended. The Playero Club, aka Boccaccio Snack Bar, in Puerto Alcúdia has been duly bulldozed into oblivion. This was a story highlighted back in June (16 June: Demolition Man); the Playero was to be one of three "chiringuitos" to not escape the demolition men of the Costas authority. All that remains are two kiosks, and maybe they'll be torn down as well.

It's all rather sad, and the impression given by the bulldozing is almost one of vandalism; they managed to knock down a litter bin in the process. Why have they done it? For an answer, you have to go back to the law on demarcation and also actual permissions, but the difficulty is knowing what is what. Strictly speaking, there is not meant to be any building within 100 metres of the shoreline, unless it is on so-called urban land. The Playero was along a line of buildings, apartments mainly, roughly 50 metres from the sea. Perhaps there was just never any permission for it to be there, but there are any number of buildings and additions to buildings that have never received permission. As mentioned previously, it was not actually on the beach, indeed it was behind the pavement (urban land?) that runs at the back of the beach, whereas some of the chiringuitos or balnearios - call them what you will, they are all, to Brits, beach bars - are on the sand and are also permanent buildings. Beach, sand, it is not urban land.

The confusion as to what should or should not be allowed to stay has been heightened by different "plans" and bits of legislation which appear to contradict others, and there is now this business of what are natural or artificial salt deposits ("salinas") which exist right along Alcúdia bay. It is this, as much as the 100 metres rule, that draws into question the strict legality of many buildings and the determination as to whether they occupy urban or public land or land influenced by the sea (the controversy over Ses Casetes des Capellans in Playa de Muro is an example of all of this). The Costas authority is not completely mad though. It accepts that many buildings that might actually be on naturally created salt lands are, in its words, "productive" (which can be interpreted many ways one supposes), and the hundred or so chiringuitos that were under threat have been spared (save for the Playero and a couple in the south). But what good does knocking down the Playero actually do? None, as far as anyone can make out.

* Thanks to Ben for drawing to my attention that the Playero had gone. I knew it was planned but didn't know when.


Real Mallorca - the nonsense continues
"The Diario" ran a splendid piece yesterday. It concerned two Catalan businessmen in their thirties who apparently specialise in the acquisition of insolvent businesses. They have asked to see the books, but why they would be interested in Real Mallorca is far from clear, though some associated with the club seem to know the answer. Publicity. All they want is to have their photos taken and to get their names bandied about. Moreover, they are "two unknown youths (or young men)". The word "joven" covers a wide age range. These are two thirtysomethings, but a "joven" could just as easily be a teenager.

The implication is that there are likely to be prospective buyers who may be anything but. Their interest will be in gaining publicity, as is being said in this instance. And Real Mallorca has had its fill of questionable suitors and indeed failed purchasers over the past year or so. The club has been made to look ridiculous, and interim owner Alemany has vowed not to make the same mistakes that let in the disgraced Martí Mingarros.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Fine song, and one of the ladies looks as though she's wearing a transparent mac - very odd. God, things were so cheesy back then. The Fifth Dimension, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWVe3AB8OY8. Today's title - it was not a playero but a playhouse - who?

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Demolition Man

Following on from yesterday and the chiringuito demolition story ...

I went to the Alcúdia chiringuito concerned. It is the Café Playero Club, aka the Boccaccio Snack Bar, and is next to where the canal comes out into the sea in Puerto Alcúdia. It is, essentially, the terrace of the Boccaccio apartments that are located just by the beach. Staff who I spoke to were fairly blunt in their appraisal of the situation. Why is to be demolished (and it will be at the end of October)? "Costas", came the retort. The Costas and the town hall can't agree, was another view. It's all politics, said another. The town hall's chiringuitos are actually on the beach; this one isn't.

This latter view is indeed true, though the Playero may well be sitting on what was once beach. Whatever the in's and out's, the chiringuito (and we are talking quite a substantial area here) is deemed to be illegal, and so it will have to go. It's a shame, and quite what good its demolition will do is open to serious question. There is another chiringuito some 200 metres along the beach, but the regularity of beach bars is what beach users want, not a walk in the heat. They want something convenient, close to where they might be able to keep an eye on their stuff, that is just a short way away for a refreshing beer or a snack lunch. Moreover, the Playero has made itself into something of a chill-out place. When I once enquired at the tourist office as to the chill-out zone on the beach, I was shown the publicity for the Playero. It was not what I was looking for, but it does seem slightly ironic that the café's business cards were piled up in the town hall-run tourist office.

And talking of that chill-out zone on the beach, unless it's been relocated, it is no longer. It certainly isn't where it was, which was just along from the Playero. Frankly, it was faintly ludicrous, and maybe someone at the town hall came to the same conclusion.


Bar noises
There are rumblings from Alcúdia's bars. To add to the "famous-five" fandango, I had a call yesterday. There is to be a meeting today, the aim of which is to get something into "The Bulletin" (and maybe elsewhere). The thrust of this seems to be our old friend the all-inclusive and the impact on bar trade, but there is almost certainly more to it, and some of that "more" may well include this new definition of what constitutes the "night". As mentioned previously, this has affected bars in Magaluf, which now have to stop music on their terraces at eleven and not midnight.

As so often with local laws, no-one really knows what's going on. Let me try and help. On 30 May, there was a modification to a law of 2007 in respect of "noise contamination", one emanating from the Balearic Government's environment ministry. What this has done is to re-define what is meant by daytime, evening and night. The important one is "evening", as it states - quite clearly - that this is now between "las veinte y las veintitrés horas". God knows why you need to state in law what this means, but the practical aspect is that, in the context of noise contamination, noise has to cease at 11 in the evening. It is this that has led to the problems in Magaluf, and it is this that could cause problems elsewhere. Questions: does this also apply to hotels, where is it going to be applied, are they going to shut Bellevue's Show Garden down at 11, does it apply to your own private party at home on the terrace? The answers are probably yes, everywhere, yes and yes. Whatever they are, the law is an ass. The wider motivation behind the new laws was to add dynamism to the economy. How on earth does this do that?


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Chumbawamba, "Tubthumping": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm4iU0yx9GY. (And congratulations to first-timer Cameron on getting that.) Today's title - originally by? (I think I'm right in this.)

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