Sunday, July 30, 2017

When The King Met Balti

Do you suppose that when the King's packing for his summer hols he thinks to himself who on Earth are the Mallorcans going to drag out for me this time? One guesses that he doesn't need to as he is already well aware. The Royal Household presumably has a sort of regional politician ProZone software analysis replete with video footage to put on DVD for his Majesty. The King will know in advance how to play the Mallorcan politicos.

He's getting used to it. Francina and her ilk are a piece of cake, as they conform to the norm for the smiling photo opportunities. Others are less so. Previously the King was confronted with Xe-Lo. Why doesn't His Majesty, rather than splash out for the Almudaina thrash, spend it all on soup kitchens for the downtrodden citizens of Palma, she inquired of him. The question hadn't, though, prevented Xe-Lo attending the thrash and eating all the pies.

Balti is another thing altogether. How often does the Royal Household arrange audiences for the King and haul in the bass guitarist from a heavy rock band? Not too often, one would think. What do they talk about? Does Balti offer tips on Converse footwear? Might the King (and Queen) think about kitting out the nippers with such informal feet furniture? We'll find out tomorrow when the family does its annual photo pose in the Marivent Gardens (appropriately closed to the general public). If it's anything like last year, Balti will be disappointed. The royal 2016 collection was like a Marks and Sparks summer pastels range with a slight nautical theme for him and her and the kids. There was certainly no sign of any Converse.

The King, you may not know, does Facebook, though one suspects that someone does it for him. If he really did it, one might expect one of those hilarious (sic) interventions on statuses which goes - That awkward moment when you ... (add as applicable). In the King's case, it would be - That awkward moment when you are presented with an extreme Republican with hair down his back and a pair of Converse sneakers. To which, if it were really him and his friends, Tizzy might reply - "You ok, hun?"

In fact, the King might want to have a word with whoever at the Royal Household does his Facebook page. There are four snaps of him with the happy politicos. And they are all obviously happy. Francina is positively radiant and beaming. Balti is clearly delighted. Mick of the Council is pleased enough with himself, while Noggin of Palma town hall bears the contented look of someone who has just been made mayor (which he has). The King on the other hand ... .

But if one looks carefully at the King's status with these photos, one finds in the accompanying texts that Francina, Mick and Noggin are, respectively, D.ª Francina Armengol i Socías, D. Miquel Ensenyat Riutort and D. Antoni Noguera Ortega. They are therefore either Dona or Don. But with Balti it's just Baltasar Picornell i Lladó. No Don for Balti. Perhaps he had requested there shouldn't be. Either way, we should be told.

* The King on Facebook:

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