Monday, July 17, 2017

Snow White And The Seven PSOE Dwarfs

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most morally superior of them all?" The mirror answered, as mirrors do: "you are, oh Queen of Podemos". With this, Her Royal Bootness, Laura Camargo, cackled as she returned to her plans, plotting governmental domination of Snow White, the sweet and friendly Francina. Meanwhile, the Queen's not entirely faithful Humbert, Alberto Jarabo, was seeking to make amends for not having metaphorically killed Snow White. Podemos will be inside the government come October, he announced to the dwarfs of PSOE. And the tourist tax will be doubled, he shouted. The dwarfs nodded in humble obedience. He stopped short, for now, in cancelling Christmas, though this could be a demand for passing next year's budget, as is the 100% increase to the tourist tax and the elimination of the 50% discount that currently exists for April (and possibly also March).

Snow White and the PSOE dwarfs were preparing to go to their tiny cottage for the party's congress. Snow White told the dwarfs to be less subservient to the Queen. Podemos claim moral superiority, yet this is an expression of populism, she opined. The Queen and Humbert, to say nothing of the Lords of Podemos in Madrid, can engage in "bad practice" and brush it off as forgivable because they believe they are morally superior. PSOE will not bow to such populism, she made clear. PSOE will fight corruption transparently and PSOE will demonstrate that the party will do what it says it will do. The dwarfs all cheered, albeit they weren't entirely sure what she was talking about. There again, very few people are.

At the cottage, the idea will be to plan their own dominance, but the dwarfs were shuffling nervously, looking at their tiny shoes. "Who'll be sleeping in our beds," they asked, mangling their fairy tales. "We'll still have to get into bed with the Queen," one horrified dwarf maintained. "Err. Yucky," the other dwarfs chimed. Snow White replied: "Never fear, for I will one day consult the mirror in strict accordance with the principles of consensus and dialogue. I shall be the most morally superior of them all."

With this, the dwarfs uttered a collective hoorah, still not totally convinced that they had a clue what she was going on about. But it sounded good, and there was more heartening news for them. Snow White explained that a handsome prince is travelling through the lands. His name is Pedro. He will fall in love with Snow White's plans for progressive politics of the left, predicated on pacts and a system of federalism. The dwarfs were now becoming ecstatic, but one noted that this will still mean having to give bed room to the Queen. "Don't we want to govern on our own?" At this, Snow White's sweet and friendly face turned sour. For as and when she looks in the mirror, she knew that she will only see the image of the Queen staring back at her.

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