Heavy Metal And Xe-Lo's Wardrobe

It was startling news indeed. Som Palma were having their wishes fulfilled. They had wanted a city of heavy metal and they were to get one. Lemmy and Motörhead were on their way in order to make a video. Will it end at this or might Lemmy be drafted onto Palma's governing administration? He surely couldn't be any dafter than the current lot. Not that we know for certain that the video will be filmed in Palma. If there is any justice, then Motörhead will head to Montuïri and display two-dotted umlaut solidarity.

They asked for extras to apply, but why bother when the ranks of Podemos, the Assemblea teachers' lot and the odd Més-ite contribute sufficient numbers of rocker hairies. Podemos leader, Dave Spart, might fit the bill, roaring across the Majorcan countryside on a Harley, if only to the rear of The Boot Girl, who firmly has her hands on the controls. There again, The Boot Girl's more punk: "Laura is a punk rocker, Laura is ...", as Joey Ramone Bauzá might have sung.

One thing can be certain, though. There would not be a great deal by way of harmonies were Podemistas let anywhere near Lemmy. These have been days of disharmony within the Majorcan branch of the Church of Pablo Iglesias, and it was one that began with a slight problem with clothes. In the end, Dave had to come out and defend the monthly 400 euros that were finding their way to the Mother of Parliament. Podemista speaker of the house, Xe-Lo Huertas, needed the dosh in order to kit herself out for those times when official duties require that she puts on a show - like demanding of the King that he spends money for official receptions on soup kitchens instead.

One trusts that Xe-Lo spends the money with economy in mind. When Primark opens next year, she should be first in the queue, though it's more likely that she'll be found at the local market, acting in solidarity with artisan clothing designers, and so spending a small fortune in the process. But why not engage in a spot of her own artisaning? The Xe-Lo J-Lo range of official-duty kaftans for the fuller and more mature woman.

But worse was to come with the news that Podemistas in Calvia were abandoning the political party they had set up in their droves (well, handfuls, as in around twenty of them), as in they were turning their back on the Sí Se Puede Calvia. It was something about Podemista sorts who had been allowed to enter the council administration but who were now mere "spectators" to the town's politics and not acting in accordance with ethical commitments to the electoral programme. Or maybe it was something else. It's hard to tell.

Meantime in Palma, there were more signs of disharmony. Aurora Jhardi of Som Palma was predicting the death of Podemos. There was a terminal illness, she suggested. Though, as in Calvia, it was difficult to understand what she was going on about, which is a consequence of there being political parties - Som Palma or Sí Se Puede Calvia - which aren't Podemos as such, merely affiliates, and Podemistas who remain faithful to the preachings from the Iglesias Church. It does all rather sum up Podemos. Onlookers haven't a clue where they're at, while of those within their ranks there are some who are similarly clueless and others who spend their time at each other's throats. Aurora then said that by terminal illness she had only been using a figure of speech and that it was all part of the self-analysis and self-criticism that goes on within Podemos or parts of Podemos which aren't Podemos as such. By self-criticism, one might take this to mean that they can't stand each other.

Sorry, I'm totally baffled, and I'm sure you are as well.