Loved Up In Salt Lands

Despite salt being a fairly crucial ingredient for the Mallorcan summer trade, the tourist would generally only contemplate its existence when it comes to showering off a crusty salty layer, having dwelled over long in the briny, or when it is positioned next to a pepper pot. Resorts built on salt are somehow not the stuff of brochures, even though salt is everywhere, and officialdom even determines and classifies land in terms of salt. The Costas Authority have this thing about land that is "influenced by the sea", of which there is of course a great deal all around Mallorca, and this influence translates as salt land.

There are a few, small "salinas" dotted along the coastline, but in a part of south-eastern Mallorca there is a place with so much salt and so much salina - dried-out salt land - that they named it after the salt: Ses Salines. A municipality of some 5,000 people, apart from all that salt, Ses Salines is principally known - where the tourist is concerned - for its resort: Colonia Sant Jordi. Controversy reigns here at present, the consequence of the plan for a floating waterpark to bob on the gentle sea, aided by the buoyancy of salt water.

But this is not the only controversy. Ses Salines could find itself propelled into the world of reality television, a genre which in Spain is commonly referred to as "telebasura": telly rubbish. This reality TV would not be some Spanish production, it would be one for ITV2. "Love Island" is returning and in all likelihood it will return in Ses Salines.

For those of you with memories that can recall reality TV as it was nine years ago, "Love Island" involved various Z-listers being flown off to Fiji and being voted on in order to determine whether they got to know each other more than just fleetingly in the "love shack". One doesn't know if there was a moral to be found in the winners of the second and final series in 2006, but they were - for what it was worth - Bianca Gascoigne and Calum Best, famous for not being famous other than having very famous footballing fathers who went astray (stepfather in the case of Gazza).

It seemed as though it had been consigned to the scrap heap of telly rubbish for all eternity. The ratings for the second series were not as good as had been anticipated, which may have had something to do with the fact that the "celebrity" part of the title from the first series had been dropped: the producers came to the stunning realisation that there weren't any celebrities. So, after series two, the axe was wielded.

Nevertheless, it is back but in a rather different form. "The Mirror" says that the celebrities (such as they were) have gone and that the new show will feature ordinary Joes and Josephines living like celebrities in the resurrected island of love. "The Mail", on the other hand, suggests that celebrities will be "mingling with members of the public", whatever that's supposed to mean. The "Derby Telegraph" usefully informs us that ITV2 are "looking for single people from Derbyshire to take part", so perhaps we can anticipate the potential lovers referring to each other as "youth".

Whoever the contestants finally are, the biggest difference is the location. Mallorca does qualify as an island but it is a fairly large island. Love will therefore be confined to one small part - Ses Salines - so long as opposition from residents doesn't scupper its chances. A further difference, according to "The Mail", is that the title will be changed. It will be "The Resort", which doesn't have quite the same ring to it, though it is better than if it were to be named after the designation of the land on the town hall plans. "Love Parcela 317, Polígono 4", it can safely be assumed, will not be the title.

This "parcela" (plot) is in Sa Carrotja, and residents' concerns appear to centre on the potential harm that might be caused because of the filming. Temporary parking, catering facilities etc. will have to be established for a period from April until the end of July. However, these concerns are almost certainly being exaggerated. TV production crews are typically pretty assiduous when it comes to ensuring that locations are returned to how they were prior to filming; indeed they are often returned in better condition than they were.

So, there can be little good reason for "Love Island" or whatever it will be called to not be filmed in Ses Salines. Though some might consider the show to be telly rubbish, is there not a potential benefit to be gained from promoting this part of Mallorca and indeed the whole of the island? It would, after all and for once, not be Magalluf. Love island? Love the island? Why not?