I confess to having a natural aversion to what I have long dubbed "brochure talk", a formulaic means of descriptive promotion, aided by a thesaurus with a select list of nouns and adjectives, which takes these nouns and adjectives and arranges them into meaningful sentences (usually meaningful) as needs require. Hence, the thesaurus contains emotive nouns such as "oasis" or adjectives like "ultimate".
While I consider brochure talk to be lazy, cliché-ridden and shallow, I can accept that not everyone might agree with me and that there may indeed be applications for which it is appropriate. And glamping may just be one of these. As far as I am aware, there isn't an oasis as such near to the "small, Spanish white pueblo named Alozaina ... (idyllic, peaceful and restful)", but I admit that it does sound somewhat appealing - a silver machine airstream mobile home that looks like a giant and kitsch-retro toaster parked in a craggy, pine-filled setting somewhere in remotest Andalusia.
Glamping - a neologism that combines glamour and camping - is, so we are being told, a genuine trend in sustainable tourism. As such, therefore, it must be "a good thing" because anything which is tagged sustainable is considered to be "a good thing". It is more than simply sustainable, though, and the clue lies with the glamour part of the neolexia. You can glamp - and I'm not sure, I may have invented a verb - in various parts of the globe, and the sustainably touristic glamour you receive in return for your desire to go glamping can be a yurt, an eco lodge, a treehouse or a very large Swan Essentials steel toaster with five-star interior.
Glamping.com's somewhat eccentric (nothing wrong with that) selection spans the globe, but in Spain it is confined to Andalusia. The offer is specialised glamping, but there is a less exclusive style which nonetheless adheres to the principle of the glamour part of the equation. Examples include the Jesolo International camp in Venice and the Marjal Costa Blanca Eco Camping Resort, which is not that far from Benidorm.
The attractions of this luxury style of camping lie, it is said, with an appeal to contemporary social and ecological consciences and to a demand for quality that doesn't break the bank (which might be the case with a hotel). There is an attraction, furthermore, for the vast majority of people (90% of the population of Europe, it is said) who have never had a camping holiday. While all of this may be true, if one is being picky, a social conscience might baulk at the all-inclusive nature of the Jesolo camp; it gives the impression of being something of a new-age Club Med minus the one-time sinful reputation.
If we are to believe the marketing psychographics gurus, the planet is now populated by a youthful Millennial generation for whom the holiday experience is as important as if not more important than the accommodation. It's probably all guff, but if there is some truth to it, then Glamping.com should appeal to this Millennial being. It offers, it says, "a discerning guide to experiential travel". One doesn't have to be a Millennial, however, to enjoy this new fad for eco-friendly, sustainably-correct, quasi-back-to-nature happy camping. Families, seniors, those with wads of cash are all equally likely to wish to partake. And why not? Camping, with or without five-star luxury, in or not within a toaster on wheels has much to commend it.
But sadly, this trend will not be coming to Mallorca any time soon. The new tourism law is dumb on the subject. Camping is a non-subject in Mallorca. It was officially airbrushed into almost total oblivion over 25 years ago, and it is highly unlikely that it would make a startling reappearance. Yet, there is a good clientele to be had from camping, while glamping would seem to fit well with the ministerial mantra that chants "quality tourist". However, as with the spare-cash-flush private apartment renter, the potential occupants of a luxury yurt encampment in Mallorca are non-persons where the ministry are concerned. And the ministry knows best, even at the expense of ignoring tourism trends and tourist wishes. Camping is not a hotel. It is the tourism anti-Christ where Mallorca is concerned, which is strange when the ministry can also chant "sustainability".
* Photo from www.glamping.com
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