Friday, March 21, 2014

Sick Smiley: Quality

SICK TED. Ok, I've done it before, but here goes again. Is this pervy Edward or infirm Eddie? Because urban vernacular now decrees that sick means something completely different to what it ought to mean, as in good or (to use an out-of-date urbanism) wicked, is SICK TED also good Ted? And the answer is ... yes. SICTED. The Sistema Integral de Calidad Turística en Destinos. Get a SICTED and you too can boast your touristic quality in destination. Sick. Wicked. Good.

They've been SICTED-ing in Alcúdia and Pollensa. They don't SICTED everywhere. I'm not sure why not. Only Palma and Artà also SICTED in Mallorca. Is there no touristic quality in other destinations? No, but it would seem that other destinations have not been in touch with Turespaña (area of quality and technological development) or something called FEMP (the Federación Española de Municipios y Provincias) in order to obtain this mark of quality. Alcúdia and Pollensa have been pioneering destinations, therefore, and the latest businesses in the two towns to have been inducted into the SICTED hall of fame have recently been announced.

Both town halls posted photos of the happy winners onto their websites or Facebook pages. Spot the restaurant owner (and various others) time. I got four in Alcúdia - Bodega d'es Port, Café Illa, Diana Apartments and Magdalena, boss of the tourist offices - and a measly one in Pollensa (Posada d'Ariant), but there were more to choose from in Alcúdia, as they included businesses renewing their SICTEDs as well. I should have done better.

I was thinking I might list all the SICTED diploma holders. A cheap and easy way to fill some space, but I have standards; I'm applying for my own SICTED. So, if you want to know which businesses have this quality accreditation, you will need to look out for the logo. You can't miss it because it looks like TUI's, in that there's some of that smiley thing going on as there is in TUI's logo, assuming it is a smiley thing, which it might not be when you're in for fifty million euros to the Balearics tax office.

Good, sick, though this all is for the Alcúdia and Pollensa businesses, they will be horrified to learn that having had to go through the rigmarole to get their certificates and plaques, the regional government has come up with yet another quality wheeze. Under this one, there would be a special category for bars and restaurants with superior quality. It would also have a rather easier name. Or one that doesn't lend itself to having the rise taken out of it. GOLD is the probable title. I can already hear Spandau Ballet blaring out of the speakers at the inaugural ceremony. (Perhaps they could get Tony Hadley, as he's a regular in Pollensa and, let's face it, isn't doing much these days.) This GOLD award would be handed out by the tourism ministry and winners determined by a technical committee from the Chamber of Commerce and restaurant associations, and winners will also apparently be entitled to some tax benefits (unspecified), which sounds like a real incentive. More than a smiley logo. Sick.

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