The Lonely Goatherd

Here's a quiz question for you. Which long-running radio quiz show featured "Mabel at the table" (and also Violet Carson, aka Ena Sharples, on piano)? The answer is "Have A Go" and it was presented by Wilfred Pickles.

Mallorca has a Mabel who is unlikely to be invited to a particular table and who is in a bit of a pickle. Uninvited, this Mabel will be a lonely goatherd, for her surname (Cabrer) means just this - goatherd. High on a hill she will be left, not beckoned down unless she says sorry.

The table to which Mabel may well not be invited would be one reserved for political worthies of the island attending the La Beata fiesta in Santa Margalida in September. Goat isn't eaten as much as it used to be, but La Beata being about the most traditional of the fiestas, it may well be served up. Mabel will not, however, be on hand to provide the goat.

In a pickle, Mabel has also made a bit of a goat of herself. Or at least this is a conclusion one can draw from some of the facts surrounding the protests against President Bauzá last month, which form the background to Mabel being in a pickle. In Artà, for example, there was nary an incident worthy of note, yet Mabel seemed to suggest during a parliamentary session (she is the Partido Popular's spokesperson) that there were violent attacks with batteries, coins, iron balls, pigs' tongues, insults and aggression. Actually, she didn't suggest; this is pretty much word for word what she said. Artà town hall is scandalized. As also is Santa Margalida's.

There were more obvious acts of aggression in Santa Margalida, but there was also a very heavy police presence, one that prevented residents from moving around normally in the centre of the town. Mabel's charges of violence by protesters have implied that Santa Margalida is a violent town full of hooligans.

Talk about a red rag to a bull or the utterances of a goatherd to a veteran socialist. Mayor Miguel Cifre is most definitely not a happy bunny. A previous demand that Mabel apologises for her implication, one echoed in Artà, has now become a demand that she asks to be pardoned. So, they might be prepared to excuse her, if she asks very nicely, or they might not be. Either way, if this request for a pardon is not forthcoming, Mabel will truly be a lonely goatherd on the evening of the La Beata procession because she will not have been invited. So there.

Because of La Beata's importance in the fiesta scheme of things, it is traditional to invite political leaders to this most traditional of fiestas and in particular to the La Beata procession. This is the one where the Saint Catalina rejects the advances of and temptation by the devil. Right now, the PP is being cast in the role of the devil, and the unfortunate Mabel is copping for the full trident treatment.

What should she do? Beg for mercy and she might get an invite. Ignore the demand and she definitely won't. She might be best advised to let it be known that she won't be able to attend anyway; washing her hair or something like that. Were she to attend, apology or no apology, there's almost bound to be a bit of bother. The town hall is minded to not invite the president either, as it doesn't want a repeat of the police presence. If Mabel were to attend, with or without Bauzá, the Guardia would probably feel obliged to have to make its presence felt, which is hardly in keeping with a traditional fiesta procession.

What all the rumpus in Artà and Santa Margalida confirms is the degree to which division is occurring in Mallorca. The regions are none too happy with the PP, support for which resides most obviously in the capital Palma. In Manacor, Antoni Pastor (the Shepherd to Mabel's Goatherd) has formed an alliance with various groups in establishing a virtual independent state, one in which the PP has caused disaffection. In Pollensa, the fines for protesters continue to cause discontent. Goatherds or not, some PP representatives in the regions might well be feeling increasingly lonely.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.