Ryan's Laughter - "El Mundo" And Ryanair

In inviting passengers to vote on ways that Michael O'Leary could settle a dispute with Stelios, Ryanair refer to themselves as "the world's favourite airline". You can't fault them for brassneck, though at a time when British Airways are looking at training even pilots to act as stand-in cabin crew as the former world's favourite airline plunges ever earthward on its collision course with staff, you can perhaps forgive the Irish operator a touch of hubris, to say nothing of taking the piss. And that's it with Ryanair - piss-taking. There is more than just a sense of knockabout, humour and "having a laugh" with Ryanair. How else can one treat the notions of passengers standing or paying to use the loo? They're jokes, aren't they? Anything for publicity. O'Leary is from the same school as Stelios and Branson in this respect.

But there is the other form of "having a laugh", one at the passenger's expense; the passenger who sees the expense of his flight clocking up as he has to add on the "fees" that the airline charges. "El Mundo"** has been having a go at the low-cost operator. It seems to take paying for a pee and standing in the aisles seriously, as it does examples of lax security, treatment of staff, receipt of subventions from Spanish regional governments and those added charges.
**(http://www.elmundo.es/mundodinero/2010/02/19/economia/1266605114.html)

Ryanair has a love-hate relationship with Spain, and not just because of its unauthorised use of a photo of Queen Sofia in its advertising. The regions love the business the airline brings, even if they are often forced to make certain accommodations. If not, the airline is quite willing to pack its bags and go elsewhere, though one might wonder who gets left to pay the fee for the bags. There is considerable disquiet in Spain, and even among those at governmental level, as to Ryanair's practices. The Balearic Government is meant to be pursuing legal action against the airline. Various ministries at national level have been written to by union leaders with demands to investigate the airline's labour relations and tax basis. For Ryanair, though, Spain is good business, with numerous airports, many willing to meet the airline's demand. For the passenger, believe it or not, Ryanair is also good business. Despite the negativity that flies its way, it has broadened options for the traveller.

It is those charges that do of course create the most criticism, and working one's way around Ryanair's hideous-looking website doesn't necessarily make it any easier to fathom them all out. The charges for online check-in and baggage are a nonsense. They are not included in the original price for two reasons: one, to show as low a price as possible and two, because - in the case of baggage - it is always possible to avoid the charge, assuming one can get everything into the required hand luggage size. But other airlines are in on the act. Ryanair is not unique in this regard.

One supposes that the add-ons are all about extracting as much "customer worth" as possible. This is 101 marketing for the new age. Like banks have so-called relationship managers who are ostensibly the customer's point of contact and service yet who are there to try and sell more product, so the airlines look to squeeze whatever else they can out of the customer. Unlike banks though, it is highly debatable whether Ryanair creates a relationship. Most passengers would happily go elsewhere. The airline should worry. The add-ons amount to some 20% of total revenue.

Ryanair can seem as if it is "having a laugh", but it is also disingenuous. It claims lowest-cost fares to ski resorts. Probably so, but sports equipment is levied at 40 euros a pop. Its environmental credentials include a "substantial reduction in the amount of waste" by comparison with airlines which give free meals and newspapers. This line of argument could have come from the Alastair Campbell guide to spin. The policy of a maximum weight allowance of 15kgs may be intended as a means of fuel-saving, but it also brings in extra dosh, so long as the passenger is willing to go along with it. And not all are. At Palma before Christmas, a couple weighed in with one bag at 17kgs. Rather than pay the excess, they called a relative who works in the airport and left with him some contents that brought the weight down. Ryanair's "having a laugh" is that loud that there is a whole website devoted to it - http://www.ryanaircampaign.org.

"El Mundo" is at pains to prove that Ryanair is not the cheapest of the low-costers. The paper draws comparisons with Vueling and EasyJet and also refers to the additional costs associated with booking in ways other than online, e.g. at the airport or via an agency, and to which one can add a call centre (more cost). The paper is though rather missing the point, which is that Ryanair is essentially an internet company. Automation of its processes is one aspect which allows it to be low-cost. The customer is at a distance, and that's where the airlines wants the customer, in front of a computer monitor, accessing only its website preferably. The customer is made to do some of the work, like printing out boarding passes. So much for relationship management (echoing a point I made yesterday), and any notion that the airline may wish to forge a close bond with the customer. The bond lies in the price, and the unpalatable truth for those who might want to give Ryanair a kicking, including "El Mundo", is that the prices are low, very low, even once you add on the basic add-ons for baggage and check-in. Ultimately, it's all about changing habits and expectations. Flying is far from the pleasure it once was, and all the security and faffing about that is now required has seen to that, alongside the low-cost service. Flying is now a pain in the neck, so the cheaper the better, and Ryanair knows this. Yes, its charges can seem unfair and yes, it can seem disingenuous, but play the game - rather as airports and authorities have to play the Ryanair game - and the prices are still good. At Christmas it cost, with the add-ons, sixty euros to go from Palma to Stansted. Sixty euros. You might spend that on a couple of weeks worth of petrol - and not go very far. There should perhaps be some perspective.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.