The Sun Always Shines On Magalluf

And The Sun was not only on Magalluf. It was The Sun what did it, along with The Mail (among others). It ventured last week to where no sun in fact shines but where the air-con doesn't work. Thousands of British holidaymakers were being condemned to spend their entire holidays camped out in queues for passport control at Palma airport, deprived of cooling air and even bottles of water.

Does The Sun have a specific strategy for Mallorca? One that it doesn't have for all other holiday destinations? It can appear so. There again, passport control mayhem is a surefire media winner. Vast queues of bedraggled tourists, begging to be released. What could be better? And for the privilege of doing so, they'll be stumping up twice as much tourist tax next year. Rip-off Mallorca, The Sun will say.

Still, one trusts that the interior ministry might have sorted things out by next summer, assuming that Britain hasn't been bombed by the combined forces of the 27 member states. "We'll fight 'em on the beaches," The Sun will maintain. But the beaches will be those of Brighton and Skegness, not Magalluf.

Ah yes, Magalluf. Now where were we? All that high-quality tourism converting the resort into a giant beach resort of high-spending, respectful tourists with as much interest (if not more) in culture and heritage as in lying on beaches. Unfortunately, and much to Calvia's chagrin, not everything is going according to plan, and it was The Sun what told everyone. Again.

This time, though, Calvia took exception. They're considering seeing The Sun in court. Enough was enough. Declaring Magalluf a war zone and defaming the local police was too much. The Sun's special envoys to Magalluf might be advised to go even more undercover.

It's fair enough, the town hall wanting to sue. But where might they file an action? In a UK court? Tricky business taking a Murdoch paper to court or any other paper. Expensive as well. The town hall might consider asking the UK justice minister to change things, just as he plans to do with false claims. But dealing with false claims isn't the same as suing for defamation. The Sun will return. Watch out, Magalluf.

Magalluf - Mole In The Hole

The Magalluf nonsense rumbles on. You could have put good money on the British red-tops doing whatever they could to get a story once THAT video became public knowledge. And to no one's surprise, therefore, "The Sun", via its so-called Magalluf Mole, came up with its laughable front page on Tuesday. A staged photo? A fake? Who cares what it was, it was worthy of all the derision that it received, as was the story that went with it: the same outrageous stuff we have been accustomed to this summer.

While we can all be critical of Calvia, in this instance the town hall would have had every right to have made a statement declaring that it was totally contemptuous of "The Sun". But while one feels a touch of sympathy on this occasion, what do we make of the video doing the rounds of the sex on the BCM party boat? And what do we make of Calvia's silence on the matter? The video was posted onto Manu Onieva's Facebook wall. The mayor's comments were requested. There have been none.

In a further development, Javier Pierotti, who was the one who put out the video of the cars trapped by the baying hordes on the Punta Ballena last summer (Magalluf Chaos), has released another video, which asks for people's help in getting improvements in Magalluf. With the support of Shaggie (he of Shagalluf), Elizabeth Dobson and others, a request is being made for Javier, who has no political affiliation or ambition, to be co-opted onto working groups at Calvia town hall so that the views of people in Magalluf can be heard and their co-operation can be sought in bringing about genuine improvements. Javier put a 32-page dossier some time ago in which he highlighted problems and made suggestions and recommendations (seemingly all ignored). A petition to have Javier co-opted has been placed on Change.org. There is more information on Facebook - For a better Calvia - and the video asking for help is on YouTube - "Magalluf Video - We Need Your Help".

Mr. Boombastic

How do you suppose you get the gig as the travel editor of "The Sun"? Rock up at the interview with a CV that says you once went on an away-day from London to Brighton or a hen weekend to Riga? "You'll do."

I suspect there's more to it than that, but you do wonder. Perhaps the travel editor was disturbed from a long Sunday lunch with a desperate demand for a hundred words about the Palma bombs. "Anything'll do."

What we got was that the bombs could spell the end of tourism in Spain and that tourists will avoid Mallorca. Just read that again - the end of tourism in Spain. And this comes from the travel editor? Had it been some dolt on a forum somewhere, you might have understood it (well even then you wouldn't have), but a travel editor? The press may be taken to task for being irresponsible, not least in its reporting of the bomb incidents in Mallorca, but there is a big difference between irresponsibility and complete, undiluted garbage. There will be no end of tourism in Spain, tourists will not avoid Mallorca. The incidents have been small beer set against the bottles of 70 plus per cent proof spirits that went up in the likes of Egypt and Turkey. Has tourism in these places come to an end? I ask again, this comes from the travel editor?

One has also to consider that the bombs were in Palma, two in the Portixol area. Had they been in, say, Magalluf or Alcúdia, one could understand a greater level of hysteria. But they weren't. Portixol is something of a place of new chic; it was being bigged up in "The Sunday Times" (travel section) a couple of weeks ago, but it is not a significant tourist destination in the same way as Magalluf is.


Still on the press and indeed the News International stable, I have had occasion to mention Michael Winner in the past. He is an absolute favourite, a deliciously acerbic, bombastic and cantankerous critic who really doesn't give a damn. He should be a national treasure. Maybe he is. Well, he's been back in Mallorca, spurning the offer of being a house guest at Andrew Lloyd-Webber's pile in Deià in favour of a stint at La Residencia, the hotel that used to be owned by Richard Branson. (Incidentally, I had a dream the other night in which Virgin, in Spain, had been re-branded as "Branson"; curious what one dreams about, but I digress.) Winner was in full vitriolic-pen mode. "Most sloppy management ever." A bellboy who doubled as a chauffeur who was "incompetent". A broken sun lounger. A water menu that was not shown to guests and which failed to feature Evian. Anyway, I daresay you can read all this on the "Times" website. Not for much longer for nothing though, if the Murdochs go down the subscription route. Fair enough, and given that five euros a pop for a slimmed-down edition of "The Sunday Times" in Spain is exorbitant, it may well work out advantageously, albeit that it will not be as advantageous as free.


QUIZ
Shalamar, "Take That To The Bank", http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CceR9vVGPG4. Today's title - had it before but not as a title as such.

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