Are We Not Men?

The first day of summer. What a difference in terms of evocativeness there is between two adjectives - first and last. The former, the first, is optimism, excitement, the new. Now some of you might say that summer doesn't actually start for some seven weeks and a bit, and you would be right except you would also be wrong. Yesterday was the last day of the Mallorcan winter; today is the first of summer. And for this inaugural day of the new summer, the weather has put on its finest gown and has danced a tango of vivid blue. The weather knew.

But so much for being vaguely lyrical. On this first day of summer what actually happens? Well, on this first day, the hordes disembark from the squadrons of charter and cheap flights to be greeted on the tarmac by groups of Gladys Pughs and Ted Bovises. "Hi-di-hi," cry the Gladyses. "Ho-di-ho," comes back the refrain. Except of course it isn't like that, but somehow it feels as though it should be. The first day of the Mallorcan summer has a wake atmosphere of the town departing for the annual holiday, of the factory closing down and of being greeted by a Gladys with a kiss-me-quick and being whisked off to the holiday camp and a round of whoopy cushions, rubber fried eggs and knobbly knees. For all the diversity of the Mallorcan tourist socioeconomics, the first day of summer sparks a celebration of proletarian hedonism that lasts till the last day. And so may it continue.


I have been known to write about toilets. I consider it a potential life's work to scour the lavs of northern Mallorca and to bring their odours and splendours to a wider audience. But for now. In a bar of my acquaintance, there is a glowing green sign on the door to the men's WC that says, "MEN". Not unduly surprising you might believe, but there is a lot of sense to it. Go to many a bathroom area and the doors are frequently decorated with confusing not to say androgynous signs or plaques. Is it the men's or is it the ladies'? You're never really that sure. So something simple like "men" can avoid all manner of potential social embarrassment, though I am told that, for the Germans, there remains all manner of "Männer" difficulty, as they (the German men that is) seem to prefer to use the ladies. Whatever.


QUIZ
Steely Dan came from William Burroughs. And in chain mode - Dan Ackroyd was part of which group that has, or certainly used to have, a strong "tribute" presence around Alcúdia. Yesterday's title was Culture Club. Today's title - the answering line goes: "We are..." Who?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)


Index to April 2008

Albufera - 9 April 2008
Alcúdia Barfly blog - 27 April 2008
April Fool - 1 April 2008
Bars - 10 April 2008, 14 April 2008, 24 April 2008, 26 April 2008, 27 April 2008
Beaches - 19 April 2008
Blogs - 19 April 2008, 27 April 2008
Boat fair - 6 April 2008
Can Ramis - 28 April 2008
Cartoon characters - 9 April 2008
Driving - 11 April 2008. 23 April 2008
Education - 17 April 2008
Entertainers - 15 April 2008
Entertainment - 22 April 2008
Fishing - 18 April 2008
Gastronomy tourism - 8 April 2008
Gavin's At The Port Bar-Cafeteria - 24 April 2008
Golf courses - 8 April 2008
Grupo Boulevard - 5 April 2008
Haircuts - 29 April 2008
Highlander Bar - 26 April 2008
Hotels - 22 April 2008
Irish bars - 14 April 2008, 27 April 2008
Jellyfish - 18 April 2008
L'Aup Restaurant - 16 April 2008
Las Delicias Restaurant - 9 April 2008
Little Italy Restaurant - 20 April 2008
Los Pescadores Restaurant - 20 April 2008
Live music - 3 April 2008, 14 April 2008
Lucky-lucky men - 21 April 2008
Mallorca Photo Blog - 19 April 2008
Marketing - 3 April 2008, 4 April 2008, 5 April 2008
Parking - 26 April 2008
Pinewalk - 20 April 2008
Pirated goods - 21 April 2008
Pollensa Festival - 3 April 2008
Pornography - 25 April 2008
Posh Paddy Irish Bar - 27 April 2008
Posidonia Oceanica - 19 April 2008
Puerto Pollensa - 17 April 2008
Record shops - 21 April 2008
Restaurants - 3 April 2008, 4 April 2008, 5 April 2008, 8 April 2008, 16 April 2008, 20 April 2008, 24 April 2008
Roads - 23 April 2008
Sea accidents - 15 April 2008
Season - 12 April 2008
Segway - 13 April 2008
Sepia fair - 6 April 2008
Shamrock Irish Bar - 14 April 2008
Shops - 7 April 2008
Smoking - 2 April 2008
Smugglers Bar - 10 April 2008
Time - 30 April 2008
Tobacco sales - 2 April 2008
Tobacconists - 25 April 2008
Tourist stories - 10 April 2008, 11 April 2008, 13 April 2008
Trikes - 23 April 2008
Turtles - 9 April 2008
Weather - 18 April 2008

Stay With Me

It has to do with the time of the year. The season has not started as such, Easter has come and gone and there is a hiatus until the 1 May launch of the season proper. And so it has to do with the time of the year, especially this year because of that post-Easter gap. Nerves. You can sense them. Nerves and wariness. Because I operate all over the place, I get asked in Puerto Alcúdia what's it like in Puerto Pollensa, and vice versa; what's it like in the port by those in the old town of Alcúdia; what's it like along The Mile by those in the port? Even during one evening, you can get asked. Are there many a round? Go into a bar, a bit quiet, and they want to know if there are some throngs somewhere nearby that they are missing out on, and the answer is that there are not. No one really believes the fact that hotel occupancies are good, even when I say that I have the news from the horse's mouths - as it, or they, were. But not at the moment is the reply. Whenever are they good at this time of the year is the obvious retort.

This is the phoney season, before it all kicks off. The weather is all over the place, which does not help the anxious mood. Nowhere is governed by the weather more than Mallorca. This may be a stereotypical British topic of conversation, but it is a very real topic here. Especially at this time of the year.

But in a few weeks time, it will be close to bedlam, at least traders would hope so, and the nerves and worries will be replaced by tiredness and short temper. And the weather will get hot, and so that tiredness and temper become more acute. Again the weather. If it is not close to bedlam ...


And on a totally different matter. Another oddity from "The Bulletin", this time in the Riki Lash thing. It may well have been the lady herself who used the word, but even so. This particular lady runs a restaurant and she wishes to thank both "new and staid customers". Staid? What exactly is a staid customer? "A quiet and steady character" to quote the Oxford. Staid is an archaic past tense form of the verb to stay, but would never have been applied as an adjective. So what can a staid customer be? Someone must know.


QUIZ: Yesterday - The Corrs. Today's title - which band did this?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)