Head Over Heels

It's some 18 months now since I complained about an encounter with a hole in the street - one near to Alcúdia Pins that, with the lack of street lighting, claimed my ankle and probably had already claimed ankles of others and went on to have other victims, too. I should have taken the matter up with Muro town hall. If it weren't such a bloody schlep to Muro town from Playa de Muro, I probably would have done. At least I didn't exactly fall in it. Some holes are made for falling into. As Gavin has discovered. Gavin, as in Gavin At The Port Gavin. There's a hole, a manhole, in the area of Hidropark, that deserves a blue plaque or something equivalent. It would say: "This is the hole that Gavin fell into". Perhaps it should be "The man who fell into the earth", which would be a bit of a Bowie reference and far too obscure for anyone who normally inhabits the vicinity of Hidropark - so forget that. Coming back to Gavin and his predicament partially underground, he was, fortunately, able to climb out again. Equally fortunately, the manhole cover didn't collide with his anatomy in a way that might have been particularly unpleasant or might have limited the line of ancestry. But I've seen the marks on the legs, and those are enough. He should take it up with Alcúdia town hall, as I should have taken it up with Muro. There may not be as many holes in Alcudia as there are in Pollensa, but they are still numerous. And numerous enough to do a fair deal of damage. In these litigious times when someone cries foul and compensation for the slightest mishap, the town halls might be wise to check their insurance and public liability policies. Get a stroppy tourist, and things could get nasty.

And talking of stroppy. I will not name names, as I did not name names when I could have done, but let me tell you about something surprising that happened yesterday. It was surprising because someone apologised. Saying sorry is hard enough for many people, but the local population struggles more than most.

There are very, very few people with whom I have had a personal problem here. And when I have, it has been because of some totally irrational outburst of rudeness - on behalf of the other party. In fact, I can count the number of occasions and therefore people - three. The last time occurred about this time twelve months ago. A restaurant owner in Puerto Alcúdia lost it. Just lost it. Much as he deserved a smack in the mouth, I walked away. As far as I was concerned, that was the last time we would ever communicate. And then yesterday, I happened to pass by his restaurant. Not only did he break off from talking to the person he was with, he came up to me, shook my hand and said how sorry he was - for an incident that had happened a year ago. He put it down to his being "nervioso", which you can translate in different ways - stressed, anxious, worried.

The point about this is that I could, given what I do with this blog and other things, have told the world about that irrational rudeness. It is where the internet becomes highly tempting and also highly irresponsible. But I chose not to. It did cross my mind, but I soon dismissed any notion of using cyberspace to slag off a restaurant owner and, by implication, his restaurant and, by extension, to hint that people should give his restaurant a miss. I dismissed this notion because ... because why should I? Because it's where the internet is at its worst. I could have, but I didn't. And a year later, the restaurant owner who must have been thinking about this all that time, came up to me and apologised. I had been right; he had been wrong and completely out of order. Sometimes, just keeping quiet is the best course of action.


On thealcudiaguide.com, there is now a Google map of Alcúdia and Playa de Muro. Currently, it shows all the hotels and apartments. More things will be added no doubt. They are a fine thing - Google maps. But they're not without faults. The map of Alcúdia and Playa de Muro has certain roads which don't exist and names that don't exist, or are certainly never used. The Carretera de Marjals. Where's that, do you think? It is in fact the main road that comes out of Muro town going towards Can Picafort. I have never known it to be used to refer to part of the Carretera Artà in Playa de Muro.

Like almost all other maps, the Google map has three roads where three roads no longer exist. Rather, they exist but only as stubs at either end. Most of their lengths have long gone, and the reason why Calles Tord, Merlera and Verderol in Puerto Alcúdia are only bits of road is that there is a ruddy great complex on top of them - a complex called Sea Club. Yet, most maps show these as complete roads, including the Google map. And how often are these maps updated? With all the roundabout construction going on, they need to be done every year.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - James Blunt, and what's more the youtube has Spanish sub-titles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztc4V3ttlso). Today's title - Gavin fell in feet first, but this is a cracking song and band: who?

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Where A Hole Don’t Belong

Holes. Holes that we have known and loved and, in certain cases, still do. Puerto Pollensa would not be the same without its annual hole-making competition that rips the place up. Fine sport. But sadly of course Puerto Pollensa no longer has the gloriously holed strip that used to be the splendid Calle Bot, now reduced to a smooth thoroughfare, or the magnificent Garbi hole of fond remembrance - raw sewage and filthy water now removed and filled in as Taylor Woodrow build, as they have built (or rather build in their own words) since 1958.

So one searches for other fine examples of the hole-making art. Eroski Syp in Puerto Alcúdia (the one opposite the Campsa garage) has been trying hard for some weeks now. As one exits the car park, the pavement has collapsed, the stonework undone and broken. Water floods in of course allowing the unwary driver to drop a back wheel into the unseen void. Small beer though this hole. Needs some work on it. A rather finer example of a hole with danger is on a pavement near to the Eden Center in Playa de Muro. As the street lights are not working in its vicinity, it is superbly positioned (and concealed unless one has the eyes of a cat) to trap someone wandering home after dark. Well done!

And I speak with some authority on this second one, though I managed to avoid spraining an ankle when returning from the Pins i Mates restaurant. Now this is not pins and mates, mate, it is pines and bushes - all very confusing - but, albeit in a roundabout way, this lets me report on what is not a bad and economic place for some nosh. Brilliant it ain’t, but it’s ok. A whopping great bit of breaded cod with chips and salad, and for two of us with various drinks etc and an enormous shared additional salad - 26 euros. Not bad, and the service was top-notch.


QUIZ
Yesterday - The Steve Miller Band, which finally allows me to use a gag that Alastair sent. Who is the rock-musician sibling of the two brothers in Gordon Brown’s Cabinet, David and Ed? Answer: Steve Miliband. It’s how you tell it. Today’s title? It’s a line from a great novelty song of the early ‘60s.

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