Zombies And Some Stories From 2017

Spain's government has faced some difficult issues this year, none more so than one beginning with C. But things could have been very much more difficult for the government (and for most of us), had there been an attack by zombies. The possibility of such an attack and the defence against it was raised in the Senate by one Carles Mulet of the Compromís party in Valencia.

Carles wanted to know what plans there were for a zombie apocalypse. The government wasn't able to provide a swift response. It needed, among other things, to consult the Dictionary of the Royal Spanish Academy. According to the dictionary, zombies are "people who are supposed to be dead and are revived by the art of witchcraft in order to dominate their will". Given this definition, the government concluded that there was "doubtful probability of such a circumstance arising".

Carles wasn't overly impressed, but it seemed as if he hadn't really believed Spain was in imminent danger of a zombie attack. He was using it all as a metaphor. Hence: "The government has no plan of action for the zombie apocalypse. Its answer can be interpreted as meaning that the government itself is a zombie apocalypse, a human catastrophe brought about by stupefied and automaton people."

The relocation of Es Trenc
The Balearic government, meantime, was finally completing its legislation for the Es Trenc Nature Park. After many months of delay and endless arguments, the legislation was about to be published on the Official Bulletin when someone spotted an error in the nick of time.

This was just as well. Once on the Official Bulletin, things are official and it takes a lot to make them unofficial. In the case of the nature park, had the mistake not been noticed, Kenya and Ethiopia would now be able to boast having the park. The latitudes and longitudes for the park, as noted in the legislation, were wrong - by some several thousand kilometres.

Some might have in fact thought the park or at least Es Trenc beach had indeed been relocated. The promised chiringuitos, to replace the demolished ones, never appeared, while the sunloungers took an age to see the light of midsummer.

Hunt the tourist
There was a spot of anti-tourism agitation knocking around during the summer, but one of the last places that such sentiment might have been expected to have emerged was Esporles. It doesn't really have vast numbers of tourists. Still, this didn't prevent them coming up with a new game for their "jocs tradicionals" (traditional games) that are played during the summer fiestas.

This was "hunt the guiri", as in foreign tourist. It wasn't xenophobic, the organising committee insisted, just a spot of humour with an ironic touch that took "massification" and holiday rentals as its themes. No offence was meant and none was taken, probably because there weren't any tourists.

Kelvin MacKenzie
Even The Sun decided that enough was enough. Its one-time editor, Kelvin MacKenzie, was sacked because he compared footballer Ross Barkley to a gorilla. Shortly before this (it was something to do with Gibraltar) he had hoped the UK would say goodbye to all Spaniards living in the UK, that there would be a holiday boycott of Spain, that a special tax could be place on Rioja and that the state visit by King Felipe would be ruined. No sense of xenophobia there, then.

The CIA files
Declassified CIA files revealed that Joan March, Franco's banker, had been involved with the sale of Jewish assets. Michael Olian, who was a contrabandist like March, sold the assets of French Jews at reduced prices through an agreement with a Swiss bank in Madrid. Joan March was a beneficiary of this. The CIA had wanted to arrest March but was unable to as Spain was, in their words, "supposedly neutral" and because obstacles were placed in front of American intelligence by "our diplomats".

The files also pointed to Mallorca having been the focus for what in 1947 was felt might have been the imminent resurgence of the Nazi Party.

Josep Ferragut
Josep Ferragut's name crops up quite regularly nowadays, even though he died in 1968. He was the architect responsible, among other things, for the Gesa building in Palma and the Glass Church in Playa de Palma. In June there was a premiere at Bellver Castle for a documentary on his life and death.

Ferragut was a homosexual. He was bludgeoned to death by two men (supposedly rent boys) and his body left on the Bunyola road, a few kilometres from Palma. The two were arrested, held in custody and then released some eighteen months later. The case never went to court.

The truth about his murder will probably never be known. Was he murdered by two male prostitutes or had there been other motives? Ferragut was outspoken against corruption. His ethics frustrated building developments. He referred to "barbarities", such as ones in Puerto Pollensa. He had plenty of enemies.

As Beaches Were: The chiringuito

Once upon a time, no one really worried about what you might put on a beach. Even if there were regulations, which generally there were not, there were unlikely to be too many officials around to ensure that regulations were being adhered to, while any who might have been would probably have been only too happy to have accepted an invitation of some folding pesetas and looked the other way.

So it was, for instance, with the tents that were put up on the French beach in Puerto Alcúdia. The beach came to be known by this name, though it was actually a Belgian who was responsible. He was Gerard Blitz, and the tents were those of Club Méditerranée. How Blitz came to choose Alcúdia for the original Club Med, how he was able to get permission to put the tents up, I have no idea, though it is not for want of trying to find out: Club Med themselves don't really seem to know. But tents there were in 1950. The story of Club Med in Alcúdia is blurry to say the least. It would seem that it only lasted two summers, and in 1951, rather than tents, there were more solid structures. They were referred to as "stone", but they had roofs of the style that was to become associated with Club Med - a thatch. And reed for a thatch is abundant in the Albufera wetlands, of which there was a great deal more in 1951 than there is now.

It wasn't officialdom that did for Club Med in those early years, it was the clergy. They weren't bothered about what was being put on the beach, but they were bothered about the lack of clothing of those who were inhabiting the beach accommodation. It was to be some years before Club Med were to get a permanent base in Porto Petro. 

It is the thatch, though, which is central to today's story. As also is putting things on beaches. In the days when no one took much notice, a temporary structure could appear: right on the sand. The beach bar was born, and it had its own name - the chiringuito.

As with the uncertain history of Club Med, so the chiringuito's history in Mallorca is one of competing versions. It is claimed that the first one appeared on the eastern coast in S'Illot at a time, around 1953, when there was virtually nothing else there. But whenever or wherever it was, the chiringuito was to become established, as was its image - the one with the thatch for a roof. In the collective consciousness and memory of the beach holiday, the thatch - be it for a sunshade or a chiringuito - is as symbolic as the sand, the sea and the palm tree.

The first ever chiringuito in Spain, so legend has it, was in Sitges, and it appeared as long ago as 1913. There were to be later ones, such as in Torremolinos. These were apparently upside-down fishing boats with presumably some thatch affair, and from these improvised structures, the wives of fishermen would sell fish dishes and beers to tourists of the 1940s. There may be something in this story, as chiringuitos did tend to have a shape that was reminiscent of a boat.

The word itself comes from the Caribbean. A "chiringo" was a measure of coffee that was served to workers on the sugar plantations of Cuba, and so the bars where the coffee was to be had was named a chiringuito. There is a less specific theory that "chiringo" was a generally used colloquial word in Cuba and Puerto Rico to refer to something short or small and that it was applied to various drinks, not only a small coffee but also a shot of rum. But for the use of chiringuito, as in meaning a beach bar, one has to go back to Sitges. The bar that had emerged in 1913 wasn't called a chiringuito. Rather, it was known as "El kiosket" and remarkably it survived numerous batterings by the sea (and reconstructions) until 1949 when it was renamed "El chiringuito". So popular was this bar that - and bear in mind the times - it would attract journalists and intellectuals who would come for a coffee and to chew the fat (such as they could in those days).

Nowadays in Mallorca, there are all sorts of chiringuitos, not all of them by any means by the sea. Of those which are, if they are actually on a beach then all sorts of hoops will have been gone through to allow them: these are days quite unlike those of the 1950s. And there is one chiringuito in particular which stands out from all others. It is partly because of where it is: right by the remarkable beach of Es Trenc. It is also because it has a reputation for being what you would like a beach bar to be: a place of music but with a laid-back aura and something of the hippy. It is S'Embat. And tomorrow at 4pm, it re-opens for its tenth anniversary season.

Photo: From the S'Embat Facebook page.

MALLORCA TODAY - Es Trenc apartments will have to be demolished

A legal argument that has raged for almost 20 years appears as though it may have come to an end, the Balearics Supreme Court insisting that apartments built in Ses Covetes by Es Trenc beach in the town of Campos must be demolished by the middle of May next year. Work on the development was stopped in 1995 following a legal challenge. The court's decision may not, though, be the final word as there is a suggestion that the new Coasts Law may have a bearing.

See more: Diario de Mallorca

Blue Hotel: Sa Ràpita and Es Trenc

One of the problems with selections of the best this or the best that is that the selections are determined by those who are making the selections and by familiarity with what might qualify as the best. So it was with Trip Advisor's travellers' choice of Puerto Alcúdia as Spain's best beach destination. It wasn't a bad choice by any means, but it was a choice that owed much to popularity and familiarity. Though Puerto Alcúdia's beach clearly played an important part in the selection, the travellers' choice was actually that of beach destination as opposed to just beach. But even had "destination" not been part of the question, Puerto Alcúdia's beach would still have won. It's that familiarity thing.

There is another beach in Mallorca that would, were it a real beach destination as such, give Puerto Alcúdia a run for its money or, in the opinion of many, beat it hands down. A German newspaper once nominated it as one of Mallorca's seven wonders. The beach is that of Es Trenc.

Es Trenc is not a beach destination as it is a stretch of beach that lies between one fairly popular destination, Colonia Sant Jordi, and one that isn't, Sa Ràpita. Hardly anyone goes to Sa Ràpita, not many more actually live there, and it doesn't feature with any major tour operator. But this is about to change.

The Balearic Government has declared that a project by which Blau Hotels & Resorts would construct a 1250-room luxury hotel complex is in the interests of the autonomous region of the Balearics. This is policy talk for meaning that it is good for the economy, but not everyone agrees. What might be good for the economy often isn't good for the environment; in fact it very rarely is.

An open letter has been issued to Blau Hotels which asks the company to "not be responsible for the destruction of Es Trenc beach". It doesn't stand much chance of being taken any notice of. The 120 million euros being earmarked for the project will create 850 construction and construction-related jobs and 300 more once it is finished. It is in the economic interest of the autonomous region and in particular of the town of Campos.

Sa Ràpita is what passes for beach tourism in Campos. But the tourism it brings and therefore the wealth that it brings to the town is minimal. Es Trenc, which isn't directly in Sa Ràpita, does attract a substantial number of visitors. It most certainly is popular, but it isn't exactly an earner. Well, not to Campos it isn't.

If anywhere on Mallorca deserves a new hotel complex, then Campos, so ill-served by tourism of any sort let alone beach tourism, is surely that place. You might think this, but in wider environmental terms, i.e. those that consider Mallorca as a whole, there is much to be said for the adoption of the so-called "Benidorm effect" by which concentration of tourism is far more sensible in terms of environmental management than having tourism complexes all over the place.

The environmental arguments against the Sa Ràpita development centre on the ecology around Es Trenc and on the beach still being essentially unspoilt. But the beach's popularity is such that this brings with it its own environmental harm. Humans being on beaches in any great number do in fact affect their ecology. It is why, for example, an unspoilt part of the bay of Alcúdia beach, Es Comú between Playa de Muro and Can Picafort, has signs asking people to not take sand away with them.

Es Comú is not dissimilar to Es Trenc. It is not as long, but it is "rustic" and it has its own sensitive ecology. Unlike Es Trenc, though, it has dense concentrations of tourists and of hotels to either end of it. Yet its ecology is pretty much secured, especially since the dunes behind it were roped off.

So why is there such an objection to the Sa Ràpita development as, for a kick off, it won't be on Es Trenc or anything like on it? Yes, it may consume land, but it's not Es Trenc land. The answer may lie with a wish for the beach to not suddenly become the best, in the opinion of far more than is currently the case. Its choice as a wonder of Mallorca had much to do with the fact that, despite the beach's popularity, it isn't that popular and it most certainly isn't Puerto Alcúdia's beach. In other words, people would prefer that the fewer who know about it the better.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.