April the first fast approaches. Fools' day. The fool season will start. Easter and then back into hibernation. But so much activity, so many of the "faces" re-emerging. Have I gone back in time? It's the same. How's it going to be? Who's doing what? The same questions every year and the same cleaning up, painting, unwrapping, installing, frantic phoning, not enough-timing. Every year.
On The Mile. Wayne's putting packs of cardboard into the paper container. Nobby's shouting something. Linekers is back to just Linekers. No more disco. Twenty-two screens. Lunches at Foxes - Stuart from Goodfellows, Grizz from the hotel. Just how it was. Last year, say. For now. Until it gets really mental, everyone can but hope. Vamps have Finnish karaoke, in abundance, and Vamps TV. The Indian empire's expanding - another Indian, the same name as the one that opened and then closed and became a steakhouse (Dallas) and now another steakhouse (Texas) in what was Venue 21. On a corner of The Mile, there is a piece of Alcúdia that will always be Indian or Texan. From nothing, new places spring up. That old shop - three days time it will be serving tandoori. Away from Alcúdia, in Son Serra, the big ranch. One day nothing at all, not even a shell. By 1 April, a new shop, so it's hoped. There was a dirty great crane blocking the entrance, adding Restaurant Grill to the sign.
All of a sudden, things happen. Not enough-timing, but somehow it gets done - in no time. On fools' day, the fool season begins. Here's hoping.
Barça in Santa Margalida
It was the spring fair in Santa Margalida at the weekend. Food, feathers and farming. They held a procession - a job lot of a procession against corruption, for Haiti and Chile, and some old-time religion as well. Made them feel good, one supposes. There was an unusual exhibition at the fair - cups won by Barcelona football club in the past year. A show of the "blaugrana". Their cups runneth over. In the blue and red of the Catalan club. Note, though, that it was Barça. It wasn't Real Mallorca. Not that they've any cups to display. No, not the island's team, but Barcelona. They wonder why hardly anyone bothers watching Real Mallorca. In Santa Margalida, you got your answer. Poor old Real Mallorca - a club that doesn't deserve its own team. Fourth in La Liga and still a basket case. Heading for the Champions' League. Perhaps. Assuming the club manages to keep going, the club that doesn't deserve the team that has performed so admirably. The team that the island doesn't deserve, because they'd rather go and gawp at Barça's cups on the day that Barça were playing in Palma. Says it all.
QUIZ -
Fools Gold. Which Madchesters?
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
Showing posts with label Easter 2010. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Easter 2010. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Mother Knows Best - The cultural tourism myth
Buried among the items in the "Balearic news round-up" in "The Bulletin" yesterday was something that deserved to be in front-page huge type and copied and sent to IBATUR, the Balearic Government's tourism department, the Mallorca Tourist Board, the "Mesa del Turismo" and to any of the other blinkered and deluded little islanders who regularly fail to see the point about the very industry that they are meant to be promoting.
A bus company in Menorca, which last year ran a tour service for visitors, is in two minds whether to bother with it this year. Over five months in 2009, a total of 2,000 people made use of this service which took in certain historic and cultural sites on the island. There were some logistical issues in respect of coinciding with some opening times, but chief among the reasons why the service was not a success (and 2,000 people is anything but) was that - as the head of the company says - people are mainly interested in "sun, sea and sand" and that there was not much demand for cultural tourism.
Praise the Lord. Someone gets it. Despite the best attempts of the various Mallorcan (and Balearic) tourism bodies to convince both themselves and others that there is a whole world of alternative, cultural tourism out there, waiting to be tapped into by hordes of summer tourists (and indeed those at other times) strapped into a bus with a set of earphones playing some audio guide, these attempts are wrong - plain wrong. There is of course a small minority of tourists that do enjoy such cultural experiences, but the overwhelming majority have little wish to move themselves from the nearest pool or beach. They come for the sun, sea and sand. Why does anyone try and pretend that they don't? For most tourists, a cultural experience is a day out at Marineland.
Though a Menorcan example, it is every bit as applicable to Mallorca. The tourism bodies should listen to people like the bus company's boss, but the problem is that they don't - or don't appear to. They don't listen to anyone much. The other day I was told about a meeting of "Europeos por España", one of the rather curious quasi-political organisations whose purpose it is difficult to understand. At this meeting, there was a discussion about tourism problems. Fine. Another talking shop, I suggested. Even if anything of merit came out of this meeting, who would listen to the results, especially if - God forbid - they were coming from "foreigners"?
The different tourism bodies act as some collective defender of what we might call Mother Mallorca, and the members of these bodies suckle at the breast of this abstract motherland, gurgling contentedly what has become a politically acceptable line that there is all this "other" alleged tourism. Mother often does know best, but not always. The kids don't want to be poring over their textbooks when they'd rather be out playing in the water and on the beach.
So much nonsense emanates from all manner of groups and organisations. You can add to the tourism bodies, the hoteliers' associations. Remember that garbage about all hotels being open for Easter? Try this. In the east of Mallorca there will be no more than some 55% of hotels operating. In Portocolom, for example, not a single hotel will be open.
So much delusion, so much wishful thinking and so little realism.
QUIZ:
Today - For once some C&W. A great of the genre, to whom Garry Shandling bears something of a resemblance.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
A bus company in Menorca, which last year ran a tour service for visitors, is in two minds whether to bother with it this year. Over five months in 2009, a total of 2,000 people made use of this service which took in certain historic and cultural sites on the island. There were some logistical issues in respect of coinciding with some opening times, but chief among the reasons why the service was not a success (and 2,000 people is anything but) was that - as the head of the company says - people are mainly interested in "sun, sea and sand" and that there was not much demand for cultural tourism.
Praise the Lord. Someone gets it. Despite the best attempts of the various Mallorcan (and Balearic) tourism bodies to convince both themselves and others that there is a whole world of alternative, cultural tourism out there, waiting to be tapped into by hordes of summer tourists (and indeed those at other times) strapped into a bus with a set of earphones playing some audio guide, these attempts are wrong - plain wrong. There is of course a small minority of tourists that do enjoy such cultural experiences, but the overwhelming majority have little wish to move themselves from the nearest pool or beach. They come for the sun, sea and sand. Why does anyone try and pretend that they don't? For most tourists, a cultural experience is a day out at Marineland.
Though a Menorcan example, it is every bit as applicable to Mallorca. The tourism bodies should listen to people like the bus company's boss, but the problem is that they don't - or don't appear to. They don't listen to anyone much. The other day I was told about a meeting of "Europeos por España", one of the rather curious quasi-political organisations whose purpose it is difficult to understand. At this meeting, there was a discussion about tourism problems. Fine. Another talking shop, I suggested. Even if anything of merit came out of this meeting, who would listen to the results, especially if - God forbid - they were coming from "foreigners"?
The different tourism bodies act as some collective defender of what we might call Mother Mallorca, and the members of these bodies suckle at the breast of this abstract motherland, gurgling contentedly what has become a politically acceptable line that there is all this "other" alleged tourism. Mother often does know best, but not always. The kids don't want to be poring over their textbooks when they'd rather be out playing in the water and on the beach.
So much nonsense emanates from all manner of groups and organisations. You can add to the tourism bodies, the hoteliers' associations. Remember that garbage about all hotels being open for Easter? Try this. In the east of Mallorca there will be no more than some 55% of hotels operating. In Portocolom, for example, not a single hotel will be open.
So much delusion, so much wishful thinking and so little realism.
QUIZ:
Today - For once some C&W. A great of the genre, to whom Garry Shandling bears something of a resemblance.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Come Fly With Me - Or Not
Come fly with me. Just as I get an email about the Sinatra show and its lift-off for the coming season, so I also hear about flights grounded. Or rather, flights not flying. Don't fly with me.
The availability of flights has been an issue throughout the winter. There have been fewer flights and what there have been have not always been as convenient as previously. Stansted with Ryanair. I'd rather not have, but that was how it was. "The problem's the lack of flights. Look, there's hardly anyone walking past." I did look. The street outside the estate agency in Pollensa. No, I suppose there weren't that many people walking past. And the problem is, even at the luxury end of the property market (which is the end occupied by this particular estate agency), that the lack of flights means less potential for sales. The luxury end, which is meant to have remained buoyant. "Mike Oldfield has dropped the price of his place by a million," I say. Might not be representative of the market, they say. The celebs whack on a premium in the belief that someone will pay it in order to wallow in the reflected kudos. Casa Tubular Bells. Getting an extra million for your gaff. Like chasing moonlight shadows. At another agency at the luxury, luxury end of the market, there are a number of showings. I guess a number of showings is a euphemism.
Having been told about the sorry state of the airline industry, I find further support in "The Bulletin". "Majorca pays the price for a lack of flights," it front pages. Easter may not be that good if there aren't the flights. The paper's got its tourism insider at it again. The chap from Cosmos etc. etc. Talk about downbeat. Talk also about what we knew wouldn't be the case and the bleeding obvious. What did we know wouldn't be the case? That all the hotels in Mallorca would be open on 1 April. Thus reckoned the head of the hotel federation some while back. It was a daft statement, an April Fool. It was never going to happen. And isn't.
What do we know that is the bleeding obvious? That there will be a hiatus between Easter and when the season really kicks in some time in May. Hence, hotels - and airlines - schedule accordingly. We know all this. Why should it even be worthy of comment? Because someone - the hoteliers' boss - made the statement. And it seemed to be taken as fact. By some. Not by me. You just had to ask one or two hotels to get the answer and paint a more accurate picture. The press though. Ah yes, the press, as in The Bulletin. Never seems to question the statements. Taken as fact. And then there's the promotion. The tourism promotion for the islands. The Rafael Nadal adverts. They have not been screened in the UK and Germany. We know all this. And we know why the ads haven't been screened. Because of the upheavals at the tourism ministry and because one of the various tourism ministers, Ferrer, seemed to want to cut costs.
Just like Sky can put up some dolt of a footballer to say nothing or to say the bleeding obvious with no insight or no originality - and presumably pay handsomely - so the default position of the press is to front up with a so-called "name", be it the head of a tourism organisation or company, who offers a similar lack of originality or lack of anything challenging or controversial. It's mediocre. At best.
Tourism insiding. Same old, same old. The press's treatment is as depressingly familiar, repetitious, undemanding as the messages themselves can be depressing. But wait. This does not accord with other messages. That some hotels are reporting almost solid bookings through the season - already; that some businesses are feeling very optimistic and are going for new approaches and new ideas. I feel that old song by Allan Sherman coming on. "Camp Granada." The depressing refrain of "take me home, oh muddah, fadduh". Then suddenly, guys are swimming, guys are sailing. It's never as bad as you think, everyone, or as the press might portray it, or as depressingly familiar, repetitious and undemanding as the treatment.
Kindly disregard this letter.
Captain Chris Mackintosh
I'm extremely grateful to John Maclean for sending an obituary for a friend, someone who was well-known to many in Alcúdia. Captain Chris has died suddenly. I'm holding the obit back as it will go into "Talk Of The North" next week. But thanks, John, and for the lovely touch at the end:
"Farewell, my friend and fair winds. Fair winds."
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
The availability of flights has been an issue throughout the winter. There have been fewer flights and what there have been have not always been as convenient as previously. Stansted with Ryanair. I'd rather not have, but that was how it was. "The problem's the lack of flights. Look, there's hardly anyone walking past." I did look. The street outside the estate agency in Pollensa. No, I suppose there weren't that many people walking past. And the problem is, even at the luxury end of the property market (which is the end occupied by this particular estate agency), that the lack of flights means less potential for sales. The luxury end, which is meant to have remained buoyant. "Mike Oldfield has dropped the price of his place by a million," I say. Might not be representative of the market, they say. The celebs whack on a premium in the belief that someone will pay it in order to wallow in the reflected kudos. Casa Tubular Bells. Getting an extra million for your gaff. Like chasing moonlight shadows. At another agency at the luxury, luxury end of the market, there are a number of showings. I guess a number of showings is a euphemism.
Having been told about the sorry state of the airline industry, I find further support in "The Bulletin". "Majorca pays the price for a lack of flights," it front pages. Easter may not be that good if there aren't the flights. The paper's got its tourism insider at it again. The chap from Cosmos etc. etc. Talk about downbeat. Talk also about what we knew wouldn't be the case and the bleeding obvious. What did we know wouldn't be the case? That all the hotels in Mallorca would be open on 1 April. Thus reckoned the head of the hotel federation some while back. It was a daft statement, an April Fool. It was never going to happen. And isn't.
What do we know that is the bleeding obvious? That there will be a hiatus between Easter and when the season really kicks in some time in May. Hence, hotels - and airlines - schedule accordingly. We know all this. Why should it even be worthy of comment? Because someone - the hoteliers' boss - made the statement. And it seemed to be taken as fact. By some. Not by me. You just had to ask one or two hotels to get the answer and paint a more accurate picture. The press though. Ah yes, the press, as in The Bulletin. Never seems to question the statements. Taken as fact. And then there's the promotion. The tourism promotion for the islands. The Rafael Nadal adverts. They have not been screened in the UK and Germany. We know all this. And we know why the ads haven't been screened. Because of the upheavals at the tourism ministry and because one of the various tourism ministers, Ferrer, seemed to want to cut costs.
Just like Sky can put up some dolt of a footballer to say nothing or to say the bleeding obvious with no insight or no originality - and presumably pay handsomely - so the default position of the press is to front up with a so-called "name", be it the head of a tourism organisation or company, who offers a similar lack of originality or lack of anything challenging or controversial. It's mediocre. At best.
Tourism insiding. Same old, same old. The press's treatment is as depressingly familiar, repetitious, undemanding as the messages themselves can be depressing. But wait. This does not accord with other messages. That some hotels are reporting almost solid bookings through the season - already; that some businesses are feeling very optimistic and are going for new approaches and new ideas. I feel that old song by Allan Sherman coming on. "Camp Granada." The depressing refrain of "take me home, oh muddah, fadduh". Then suddenly, guys are swimming, guys are sailing. It's never as bad as you think, everyone, or as the press might portray it, or as depressingly familiar, repetitious and undemanding as the treatment.
Kindly disregard this letter.
Captain Chris Mackintosh
I'm extremely grateful to John Maclean for sending an obituary for a friend, someone who was well-known to many in Alcúdia. Captain Chris has died suddenly. I'm holding the obit back as it will go into "Talk Of The North" next week. But thanks, John, and for the lovely touch at the end:
"Farewell, my friend and fair winds. Fair winds."
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Open Up - Hotels opening for Easter
Easter is six weeks away. April Fools Day conveniently coincides with the Thursday of "Semana Santa", a day (Holy Thursday) celebrated in Mallorca and typified by the Last Supper ritual in Pollensa. The summer season officially starts on 1 May. This year it looks as though it will be a month earlier - on 1 April. Or so reckons the head of the hoteliers' federation. All hotels in Mallorca will be open on 1 April. Sounds like an April Fool, or sounds as though some hotels will be fools. Antoni Horrach, the federation's chief, admits that there is "not too much to report" in terms of reservations for Easter and that bookings from the mainland are very low. So why open all the hotels? It would be hugely surprising were they to all open. Bookings may pick up, but it would be optimistic to suggest that these might translate into high levels of business. And then there is the hiatus that follows Easter. It sounds sensible in theory to open up at the start of April, but the practice is rather different. There is also the issue as to staff contracts. April to end October is seven months, not the six that is commonly gone by, the six that comprise "summer". Where hotels may be open early, don't expect full staffing levels.
This burst of early-season expectation was carried in yesterday's "Bulletin" which also reported on a decline in tobacco sales because of reduced numbers of tourists - a fall of some 17% in coastal areas in Spain during 2009.
Not having seen the paper on Saturday, I was unaware that there was a piece regarding an online facility now being operated by the foreigners' registration office in Palma. I have Ben to thank for sending me the article which, as is the case with "The Bulletin", appeared on its website a day after publication. It was sent together with a question. Did I know the address of the website referred to? Not as such. Unhelpfully, the address was not with the article. Anyway, when one is able to find it, this should be an enormous help. Not before time, public service for foreign residents has finally deigned to introduce a system that should mean avoiding the tortuous wait at the office to process residency applications or renewals. Or at least I think that's what the online system intends to offer. If I knew where to look, I could confirm this to be the case or not.
QUIZ
Today - "Open Up"; Brit girl band, think days of the week, well one of them.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
This burst of early-season expectation was carried in yesterday's "Bulletin" which also reported on a decline in tobacco sales because of reduced numbers of tourists - a fall of some 17% in coastal areas in Spain during 2009.
Not having seen the paper on Saturday, I was unaware that there was a piece regarding an online facility now being operated by the foreigners' registration office in Palma. I have Ben to thank for sending me the article which, as is the case with "The Bulletin", appeared on its website a day after publication. It was sent together with a question. Did I know the address of the website referred to? Not as such. Unhelpfully, the address was not with the article. Anyway, when one is able to find it, this should be an enormous help. Not before time, public service for foreign residents has finally deigned to introduce a system that should mean avoiding the tortuous wait at the office to process residency applications or renewals. Or at least I think that's what the online system intends to offer. If I knew where to look, I could confirm this to be the case or not.
QUIZ
Today - "Open Up"; Brit girl band, think days of the week, well one of them.
Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.
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