Twisted Firestarter

There are a number of things you can do in order to have a good laugh. Kicking a shop window in, for instance. Giving someone a good kicking. What hoots. The only drawback with these is that they aren't spectaculars. There is though one way you can have a really good laugh and create a really good scene into the bargain. Set fire to something. Buildings? Not bad, but for maximum amusement, why not try entire forests? Now you're talking. One little match, some dry scrub, plenty of trees around, no obvious fire breaks, a good wind. Whoosh!

The outbreak of three fires on one day at roughly the same time and in similar positions, near to highways, is a bit of a coincidence. The Balearic Government's environment minister believes they were more than just a coincidence. Firestarters. Twisted firestarters. Yep, more than just one of them.

Mallorca's burning, Mallorca's burning, fetch the engines, fetch the engines. Pour on water, pour on water. And water is poured on from a not so great height by the helicopter bombers (an apt Anglicism given that the Catalan for firefighter is "bomber") and the Canadair.

Canadair. The word has rich resonance. The name itself, not so much in Mallorca or Spain, but in France and especially Corsica, conjures up an image of heroism.

In 1983 Corsica was ablaze. Much of the island was being torched. Deliberately. It just so happened that I was there on holiday at the height of the fires.

The geography of Corsica is quite different to that of Mallorca. A single range of mountains runs more or less the length of the island, the tallest peak being twice as high as Mallorca's Puig Major. The forests are denser, and good parts of the island are pretty much inaccessible. Combine this geography with the Mistral wind and people with boxes of matches, and you got what occurred in 1983.

The fires were that bad that tourists had to be evacuated to beaches. In Propriano where I was staying, the fires reached the hills above the resort. One night the flames were clearly visible. Local people were rounded up to go and help fight the fires.

News reports on local television were full of talk of "pyromaniacs". There were two or three in particular, all German, who the police suspected of having started many of the fires. It might have seemed like a bad time to have been a tourist in Corsica, especially as foreigners were being blamed for the conflagrations, but it was the opposite. Tourists, as outraged as the Corsicans, became involved. Some would have volunteered to help with the firefighting (we would have done), but were deterred by the police. And then there was the involvement with the Canadair.

Whenever a plane landed in the bay and took off, and this would happen for hour after hour most days, tourists joined with the locals in cheering and applauding. Sight of a Canadair produced excited pointing and chatter among children. The Canadair pilots were considered heroes; the planes themselves were heroic. The strength of the name "Canadair" has never left me.

Flying into dense woodland and dense smoke required remarkable courage. You could count the Canadair out, but you couldn't always count them back in. Cables were the greatest threats; cables that couldn't be seen by the pilots.

We were taken at one point to see the extent of the damage caused by one fire. What seemed like an entire mountainside was ash. 1983 was an ecological disaster, and it was man-made.

It takes years for forest to recover. With its burning go also the fauna and their habitats. Mallorca is called the paradise island and Corsica is the island of beauty; not though when they are on fire.

Mallorca has been spared the sort of infernos that engulfed Corsica. Because of the island's geography, the potential for massive destruction isn't as great. But this is small comfort. The fires this summer, which are likely to make 2011 one of the worst years ever, have not all been deliberate. Earlier in the summer fires near Santa Margalida and Artà were attributed to sparks from farm machinery or cars; to negligence rather than to anything pre-meditated. The later ones, however, seem more sinister, such as the three on one day and their very similar circumstances. The environmental investigation division of the Guardia Civil believes that a third of the fires this summer have been deliberate.

Why do it? Why set fire to scrub, woods or forests? Who knows the mentality of a pyromaniac, of a twisted firestarter? Just having a laugh? Go tell an heroic Canadair pilot and see if he shares the joke.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

I’ll Take You To Burn

Well it’s one way of getting around some of the environmental problems, I suppose. Set fire to stuff. Not that I am suggesting that there was any malicious intent, but part of Albufera was smoking yesterday, flames fanned by the fierce winds that caused a fair amount of havoc across the island: 72 kilometres per hour was registered in Puerto Pollensa. Whatever the strength, it was strong enough, especially taking to the exposed coast road from Alcúdia.

Fire. For a place with a fair amount of wood, Mallorca seems to fare reasonably well in the fire stakes. Compared with other Mediterranean islands, Corsica for example, it gets away quite lightly. There again, Corsica is one great big inland forest and mountain range: an obliging and inviting target for some pyromaniac. Frightening as well, as was the time when staying on the south of the island and the flames were to be seen on the hills above the town. At least, unlike in other places, we were not evacuated to the only really safe place – the beach.

It was in Corsica that I first became aware of the Canadair water-bombing planes, and also of the hero status the local people grant the pilots. Familiar though the Canadair planes are that fly from the Puerto Pollensa base, there is not the same cult attached to the pilots as there is in Corsica. Nevertheless, it can be a seriously dangerous job.

Fire of another sort is that of bars and restaurants, houses and hotels. Every season some restaurant goes up. All that sizzling oil flying around it’s not really surprising. And in houses and flats one of the more likely causes of fire is the butane installation, or a faulty one at least. I have a cooker that runs off butane: it must be coming up for its periodic check. These checks though can be the source of a scam and/or rip-off. Back in the summer this chap pitched up at the gate. Went through the whole spiel. I knew exactly where he was coming from. He would do an inspection and, irrespective of whether any work was needed, would set about doing it and then trouser a goodly sum. It has happened to people I know. Anyway, as he was kind enough to speak in English, I told him kindly enough in English to piss off, which he did, only to come back the next day when I told him the same. No deterring some folk.


QUIZ
Yesterday – “These Are The Days Of Our Lives”, Queen. Today’s title – line from which crazy ‘60s record?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

My Crocodile Shoes Are Crying Too

Continuing the celebration theme (if one can call it that) of recent days, there are two sort of celebrations in Puerto Pollensa. The first is the 70th anniversary of the sea-plane aerodrome. This is now the base for the fire-fighting Canadair aircraft, itself celebrated in sculpture form on the Caprabo roundabout. The second is that, forty years after provision for it was made, the new road from the coast that will hook up with the by-pass to Formentor is taking shape (it will actually be ready next summer). The road will pass through Llenaire and Pinaret, and the anticipation is that more of the front-line will be pedestrianised.

There, bet you feel better for knowing all that. To matters of greater import, and I am very grateful to Ben (at Piccadilly) for passing this on. Crocs. Geox. You know the shoes. Everyone and his dog has a pair. I have a pair. But there are Crocs and there are Crocs, at least there are here. It so happens I know the guy who has the distribution concession for the island. He does not deal with the imitation Crocs. I spoke to a chap at a sports shop earlier this summer, and asked about his shoes. Were they originals, I asked. Oh yes, said he. Like fuck they were. While they are cheaper, they don’t have the essential quality that the originals have - that airy feeling. So, anyone seeing some “Crocs” for 12 euros here, be sure they are not the real thing. But back to Ben as he has sent me this thing from “The Sun” which says that Crocs can be harmful to health in the sense that medical staff wear them and they can give off static electricity that affects life-saving equipment. Ben points out he saw them being worn at the new hospital in Inca. I have seen them at the hospital in Alcúdia. And not just nurses, doctors as well. Moreover, the Crocs pose a potential health and safety threat in that syringes could be dropped though the holes (as you do).

I have an appointment at the Alcúdia hospital this Friday. I shall be inspecting feet closely.


QUIZ
Yesterday - Bon Jovi. Today’s title? Clue. Dec (or was it Ant) once had a child role in a series featuring this singer. Pretty easy this I reckon.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)