J.R. Is No Longer Dead

So, it was all a dream. Pammy's woken up, Bobby's appeared from the shower, and J.R. is heading off to join the barons of the PP by becoming tourism minister. The intriguing within the PP is the very stuff of "Dallas" minus the oil that J.R. so determinedly sought to deny the Balearics when his nemesis Cliff Barnes (aka José Manuel Soria) was in charge of both energy and tourism.

José Ramón Bauzá, for it is he, has his eye on a cabinet post and on leading the Balearics and Spain to ever greater touristic glory. There are just a few problems with his ambition. One is that Super Mariano has yet to be reconfirmed as president (sometimes referred to as prime minister). By this time next week, however, he may have been, as the socialist-lite element has got its way in sanctioning his investiture. The second problem is that there isn't a specific post for a tourism minister. Yet. But the bookies are placing odds on Mazza turning over one hundred years of history on its head and creating just such a post. Amidst this speculation, therefore, re-enter J.R., who mostly everyone (in the Balearics) had assumed and had hoped was politically interred.

However, away from Palma, J.R. has been conducting a one-man PR campaign, turning up on chat shows. Why would he be doing that? To prove to everyone that he was never dead in the first place. A seat in the Senate has provided sufficient warmth to prevent political rigor mortis from setting in. J.R. is back, and he wants tourism.

But then one gets to the third problem. Much as though J.R. may have been on a charm offensive, he remains thoroughly detested. The PP in the Balearics (many of them) are aghast at the prospect of him rising like a Phoenix of tourism from the ashes of the purge that exiled him to Madrid. And if his own party would not give his tourism ambitions houseroom, then you can be certain that Francina and chums will be even more determined to ensure that he never darkens their agreements for government change.

Could you imagine it? Bauzá at tourism. First thing he'd do would be to seek a change to the statutes of autonomy to ensure that tourist taxes would be banned. He couldn't actually do this, but then J.R. was never one for allowing procedure of a legalistic type to get in his way. Anyone remember the decree for trilingual teaching? A court said one thing (the government hadn't followed procedure), J.R. and his cabinet said we'll see about that and ushered in an emergency decree.

Eco-nationalist Mésite Balearic tourism minister Biel Barceló has declared that J.R. as national tourism minister would be disastrous for the Balearics. "As president (of the Balearics) he did not defend the interests of the islands." Which of course he didn't, as in, for example, not asking Mazza for the state investments which should have flowed in a Balearic direction. And why not? Well, J.R. was the original golden boy of Mazza's austerity. He did all he could to keep pally with Mariano until Soria got in the way and wanted to start digging for oil in the bay of Palma.

J.R. went gunning for Soria and for his job, relations with national HQ deteriorated, got even worse when a different golden boy - Mateo Isern - was being eased out by the intrigues of Bauzá and José María Rodríguez, and finally got so bad that Madrid was only too happy for the PP in the Balearics to stick the boot in. Thus the PP nationally was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Hence one comes to the fourth problem. Bauzá for tourism minister? No chance.