Saturday, April 17, 2010

Ash Wednesday: Volcanoes and smoking

"Here come further hurricanes."

When I said this a couple of days ago, in the context of the new corruption cases, little did I know that a major natural event had occurred - on the Wednesday. Hurricanes, well very strong winds and storms, have been known to hit Mallorca, but the fallout - if not literally, then metaphorically - from a volcano blowing its top is the last thing you expect. As though things couldn't get worse - cree-sis, cree-sis still persisting - along comes an event on a biblical scale. Act of God, as the insurance companies will be insisting. One should appeal to a Higher authority. Please, God, don't give the locals any more excuse to reach for the blades. "Un desastre." When isn't it "un desastre"? Actually it isn't un desastre - in Mallorca. What would be, would be a volcano suddenly erupting in the centre of Palma. That would be a disaster. But un desastre it is, because flights have been grounded across northern Europe. And this means that tourists have been grounded - in other countries. For one car-hire agency at least, the volcano has been un desastre. That was how the boss described it to me, at any rate. No tourists arriving, no vastly inflated hire-car charges to be made - allegedly. Un desastre.

What could though be a greater desastre would be if this damned volcano decides to carry on exploding. Iceland has form in this regard. Long it may have been since the last great outpouring of ash, but it continued to do so for a couple of years. The Mr. Spocks, the vulcanologists, cannot be sure if the pattern will be the same this time around, but if it were to be and were those shards to be knocking around in airspace, then regular "desastres" might just be on the cards.

Poor old Iceland. Cod war. Lousy weather. Bloody big blokes who haul cars. Bank failures. Frozen foods. Not a lot going for it, other than Björk. So they take it out on everyone else.

Volcano - all that's needed.


Meanwhile ... more ash. The Spanish health minister has said that a total ban on smoking in public places will be implemented "from June". No precise date, just from June (so maybe, say maybe, that 22 June date was right after all). This, at any rate, was how "The Diario" had it, referring to the fact that the ban would come in prior to the completion of other "sessions", meaning ... who knows. Elsewhere though, it is said that there will be a period prior before the full introduction of the ban, i.e. after June. Yet again, smoke rings of confusion waft into the air. The reporting is contradictory, but this is probably because the messages coming out of government are. There needs to be a clear announcement about this, but you wouldn't bank on there being one. I'm sorry to have to say this, but this confusion is typical of Spanish legislation. Badly communicated, unclear, added on to something previous that may or may not still apply. Poor. Very, very poor.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

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