A Look At 2009

A pox on intensive care units and all that. Part of the problem is that all the end-of-year/start-of-new-year jollities that I had lined up are starting, even after a mere fiver of '09, to seem a tad old hat. So, certain things have been abandoned for this year, such as the annual awards ceremony, save for the musical tributes. All those who won something in 2007 can assume that they can carry on for a further year; I give you my permission. But rather than dwell too much on the past, let's look forward to what will be a glorious year.

Oh no, it won't.

I have started switching off or turning over whenever anything about the economic mess crops up. A further assumption - it's going to be crap, generally speaking, during 2009. I don't know that this takes much thinking about or indeed quibbling with. But what other predictions can be made for 2009? I have counselled the great and good, and here are some thoughts:

The whole of Puerto Pollensa will be pedestrianised, except for buses, and the new bus station will be located in the church square - that part of it that hasn't already been turned into an ice rink. Bony will become the bus-station café, and passengers will be charged 5 euros to use a seat. Don't cry! In a new money-raising venture, the town hall agrees to accept a large wedge from Grupo Boulevard and re-names the resort Puerto Dakota.

The British Government, as part of its anti-obesity drive, realises that a major contribution to the nation's lard mountain is the Alcúdia and Can Picafort all-inclusive. A short waddle from the lift to the pool, and that's the exercise for the day, save for one belly-flop that creates a parting of the pool's waves. Otherwise, the only other movements of the already lard-bucket chav ASBO cases are to raise an arm in order to cram ever more pizza and grease and watered-down lager and, therefore ever more fatness, into their gobs, from which emanates some occasional vomit or an admonishing shout directed at a hideous and equally voluminous offspring as it prepares to shit in the aforementioned pool. Step forward, consequently, HM Government with an order via Brussels to ban all all-inclusives.

The economic crisis will hit the annual fiestas hard. Firework displays are cancelled, but everyone is given a sparkler.

Alcúdia's Mile will be decreed a site of international heritage and cultural importance. And because they can't raise the money to effect the re-development, the old power station, rather than a science and technology museum, will become a giant bouncy castle.

Albufera is turned into the world's largest water theme park. And just to make things more interesting, they release a bunch of crocodiles as well.

The decision on the train extension from Sa Pobla is made at last. Fed up with all the squabbling in Alcúdia over the route and the terminal, they opt to send the train to Can Picafort instead. That'll learn 'em.


Top Songs of 2008
As you may have noticed, there is a certain musical theme to this blog. Quite why I've never been entirely sure, other than the fact that I happen to like many of the songs that appear as titles to entries - not all, like Status Quo obviously - but for the most part yes. Last year there was a best of, and so following on from Laura Veirs and Plant & Krauss in 2007, here is this year's lot.

The top five songs. Tricky. Strong claims from the likes of Brian Wilson, British Sea Power, Goldfrapp, Hercules and Love Affair but here they are:

Asteroids Galaxy Tour, "The Sun Ain't Shining No More" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTuAXV8WyuI (Danish retro-pop-soul-psychedelicists. Still can't help feeling this has a sound of The Happy Mondays.)

Fleet Foxes, "Mykonos" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhosbxpjZSw (What does the last part of this remind you of? America? Crosby, Stills and Nash?)

Headless Heroes, "The North Wind Blew South" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGgRlgySh_M (This song was written by a chap called Philamore Lincoln. Who he? An obscure British artist from the early '70s.)

Paul McCartney with Youth, "Sing The Changes" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvuOoLAo7X8 (Who said that Macca couldn't be contemporary? As "The Fireman", combines with ex-Orb producer and Killing Joke Youth.)

Ting Tings, "That's Not My Name" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UX0p7uAW2s (Just such a great song. Loads of life and attitude.)


And the winner is ... strange, evocative and luscious - Headless Heroes.

And album. Many to choose from, but pipping Goldfrapp and MGMT is Elbow's "The Seldom Seen Kid".


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