Why Don't You Come To Your Senses?

Curses. I had already penned today's piece, anticipating an end, but no. No end. Whassup? Real Mallorca, friends. Yes, once again, with lack of feeling. Real bloody Mallorca and the so-called plumber. No, he didn't show up to hand over the moolah, and there was no surprise there, but he did send a fax to ask for yet another extension. The great Real Mallorca farce drags on, and on, and on ... Does anyone give a toss any longer? Did they ever? Doubtful. But the panto season has started early. Will he buy it? Oh no, he won't. Oh yes, he will (insert "Bulletin" editorial).

To cut to the chase. Paul Davidson, for the second time, has requested a prolongation of the whole debacle that has become the mooted takeover of Real Mallorca. There are some explanations for this: he still hasn't got the money; he still hasn't constituted the right corporate vehicle for effecting the purchase; he's having a laugh. I leave it to you decide. Personally, I can't see how it can be the third of these, though there are plenty who might believe so - fans, the current owners, various journos, lawyers etc. No, it probably is still his intention to buy this stupid club. God knows why, but that's another issue.

The thing is, though, that if he does finally part with the money, the whole process, the whole pantomime, has seriously undermined him in the eyes of the people who matter, e.g. the fans and a highly sceptical Spanish media. Forget the Bulletin, it's the locals that need charming not a few nutty expats who turn up to watch an average team, and for reasons best known to them. Whatever goodwill may have been extended to him is fast evaporating, if it hasn't already. And many will doubt that, if the sale does go through, there will be loads of readies available for the team's development. If it's so problematic to buy the club, what does this say for the future?

The real sadness of all this is that Vicente Grande is likely to go along with it, albeit that he wants a deposit as a declaration of some sort of goodwill. Of course he does. No one else is willing to hand over close on 40 million euros for a club that doesn't even own its own ground. Grande's desperate - desperado - and one suspects that the other party knows this.

I am, to be honest, hacked off with the whole thing, mainly because I had crafted a hugely intelligent piece for today that I can now not use. And I had been next door to sample some glasses of vino tinto before I saw the news. I shouldn't write when under the influence, but I've got a blog to do, so that's why I'm hacked off. But why don't I include a bit from what I would have written? It refers to a commentator in "The Diario" who says, about the whole fiasco "that he can be included among the other journalists, 'administrators, jurists, lawyers, bankers and creditors' who have been made to look foolish".

The end.


Anyway, Plan B, folks. Don't for one moment think that a mere hiccup in the complex and absurd world of Real Mallorca can deter me from some other story of massive import. First rule of editorial. Always have another story up your sleeve or sitting on your desktop. So here goes ...

Remember that film with Steve McQueen. "Bullitt." The one with the car chase through the streets of San Francisco. Well, they tried a re-enactment - of sorts - through the streets of Alcúdia the other day and also along the motorways of Mallorca. To be honest, it shouldn't be much of a story, but given that locally "dog bites man" passes for headlines, it is. So, the story is that some lunatic Colombian hammered along the motorway from Palma and then around Alcúdia in a Volvo at some 200 kilometres an hour, whilst a couple of boys from the Guardia in a 4x4 were in hot pursuit. And hot it was, because there has been many a column inch devoted to the state that the Guardia's engine was getting into. Which does rather beg a question, but let's not go into that. But the nutter in the Volvo finally made his way up to La Victoria before hurtling off the mountainside in what turned out to be a vain attempt at suicide. He was detained for psychiatric reports, whilst the Guardia fellows were being heralded as "heroes". For what? Presumably because they were in charge of an overheating Nissan X-Trail. 200 kilometres an hour. Have they never driven on a German autobahn?

Mind you, hurtling around the streets of Alcúdia would have been some sport to watch. I have searched youtube, but am unable to find any blurry mobile footage of the chase. Shame. It would have all been worthwhile.

Normal service will, may, resume tomorrow.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - Cream, "Sunshine Of Your Love" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI8SUc2SV4k). Today's title - the title's in the article.

Oh, and here's the car chase from "Bullitt" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMc2RdFuOxI

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