Too Shy, Shy

And so, after all the rubbish weather comes the hot stuff. We were told to expect it, and with due predictability, on the back of what was more like March weather, the lows have turned to very highs, with some forecasts talking of temperatures up to 35 or 37 degrees (99 in old money). One of the surprising aspects of this, surprising as Mallorca is hardly immune to hot weather, is that the authorities feel the need to give out a warning and advice, but I guess the message can never be made too often.


Excitement mounts as Spain move on to the semis of Euro 2008. Thank God they beat Italy. Otherwise, amid all the attacking football, there might have been the prospect of the Italians boring their way to the championship. Spanish TV went overboard, extending its programme in order to accommodate even more pockets of advertising. Heaven knows what will happen if they actually win the thing - a feast of advertising opportunity till three in the morning beckons. It was a truly rotten game, but the victory offered the chance to see how truly rotten TV here can be. Shambolic hardly does justice to the post-match presentation of the Cuatro channel ("podemos", we can; no you cannot). You couldn't tell what was advert and what was frantic, hastily-cobbled-together reaction. There was even some bizarre thing which involved speaking to a group of about ten supporters in front of a huge banner that read "Kia Fest"; motor cars are the stuff of Euro championship advertising, especially Korean cars. The chap who was packed off to do the interviews in front of the multi-sponsored board was like the cat who'd got the cream when he managed a few words with the King after he had emerged from the team's changing room. "I spoke to the King, I spoke to the King," was what he wanted to say. The King does at least turn up for these events. Think of him what you may, but there is no denying his support for Spanish sports teams. There was once, and it must have been the 2004 Olympics, the time when he and the Queen attended the medal ceremony for some minor sport - rowing perhaps. The medals duly divvied up, the King and the Queen then engaged in much kissing and hugging with the Spanish gold medallists; it was all rather touching, and you couldn't have imagined the British royal family acting in such a way.

The real star of the Spanish win though was not one of the players but someone I have had cause to have a go at here - namely the coach Luis Aragones. After Fabregas scored the winning penalty, what did Aragones do? Go into a David Pleat-like leaping fit? No, he picked up something from the bench, was embraced by someone and then walked off. Nothing more. Avram Grant had Mourinhoesque charisma compared with Aragones. In the lead up to the penalties, all he did was walk on to the pitch with a piece of paper to tell the players who were taking the pens and then went and sat down again. No motivational speeches, no imploring, just a sense of this is your job, now get on and do it. But it was the post-match press conference that really gave us an insight into Aragones. He was there with the eloquent captain, Iker Casillas. When Casillas left, you could see Aragones was thinking: "I'm on my own here". He scratched his neck and his ear and he mumbled into the mike. He was shy. He obviously hated it all. He has gone up in my estimation.


Meanwhile, away from the euphoria of the football, the lousy economic situation has prompted the Balearic Government into holding talks with various bodies, such as the unions and business groups. Whilst the economy is said, by the government, to be "robust", ways are being sought to combat the current problems, not least unemployment. And so what will they be proposing? More construction. Yep, even more construction. This may make sense as a short-term fix, but it fails to address the weakness of the Balearic economy, which is its reliance on construction (and tourism). And the recent record with siphoning off public money into the private sector for undertaking public works has not been uniformly successful, owing to the problems of indebtedness that some of these firms have.


QUIZ
Chain - Crowded House, "Four Seasons In One Day" to The Four Seasons and "Who Loves You". And what connects The Four Seasons to American pop act of the '60s, The McCoys? Yesterday's title - "World In Motion", New Order (see this here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nQItOROYlc). Today's title - who? Had them here recently.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

Yes We Can

All in all, it is probably as well that England are not in Euro 2008. Ah, our plucky lads, the lumpenproletariat-cum-nouveau riche of galactico footballers, who lump the ball rather than caress and adore it. Against the passing of the Spanish, the verve of the Dutch, the technique of the Croats, humiliation would once again have beckoned. The bars may not be packed with England t-shirts, but those who've gone to watch are spared what was once described by French pundits (while watching the 1990 World Cup in the bars of southern France) as "primitif". Admittedly, 1990 got better than the game against Ireland which gave rise to this description (and the Irish were no less immune to the primitive criticism), but the years pass and the lack of basics that seem to come so naturally to nearly all other football nations survives. Way back in the '50s, they were bemoaning poor technique and control while Puskas and co. exposed the insularity and aloofness of the English game.

Flicking through channels in advance of one Euro 2008 game, I stumbled across another football tournament. The players had fine technique, ball control and all balls played to feet, pace, movement and passing. It was quite mesmerising. They were all of eleven or twelve years old, teams from Spain and Germany playing in a competition in Mallorca. Small they may have been and small also the pitch and goals may have been, but it was not hard to imagine that some might grow to be a Xavi, a Ballack or a Villa. It was like watching Arsenal play, which probably explains why Wenger eschews mostly anything born in Britain. In England, kids still play on full-sized pitches and are exhorted to "get it long" and run around like headless chickens. One of England's brighter talents (brighter in terms of footballing ability that is), the spud-faced Scouse nipper now playing for Man U, is a decapitated fowl and a foul waiting to happen. It occurs to me that you might want to nip along and see the semis and finals of the junior football tournament taking place during Sant Pere: they're on the 26th and 27th at 18:00 at the sports ground. It won't be like watching England play that'll be sure.

On TV, the Euro finals have been grabbed by the Cuatro channel for those who have no desire to fork out for the pleasure. Compared to the wackiness of La Sexta's coverage during the last World Cup, this is dull fare; no Three Tenors, the singing commentators of 2006, for a kick-off, and especially no short-arsed, balding one with a bow-tie who was, by far, the worst offender. Mind you, the threesome that Cuatro drags out look as though they may have recently come off stage having warbled for a cabaret audience. They each have uniforms of black jackets and white shirts with at least two buttons undone and no tie.

Not much time is devoted to analysis during the Cuatro transmissions, in fact virtually none. Nor are there the meaningless pitch-side interviews. "So tell me, Petr, why did you screw up so badly with that cross?" One suspects that they might have found some time for a bit more endless slow-mo of offside decisions if it were not for the need to get the ads all in, the ones the football tiresomely gets in the way of. And one of these is a Cuatro corporate thing that they repeat endlessly. It has a slogan; well, there's a surprise. It's one word. "Podemos". We can. If I were being cynical, I would ask: "we can what"? But I have already coined the We Can line for Can Picafort, admittedly in English. Better get down Santa Margalida town hall quick and get them to accept it and pay me handsomely, except they wouldn't as they haven't got any money.


QUIZ
Chain - REM did a cover of "I Will Survive". And which REM single has a link with Elvis impersonators? Yesterday's title - Mr. Mister, "Broken Wings" (see this here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWyeVfuolT4). Today's title - which politician has this as a song?

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)