Balnearios Back To The Future

"Balneario" can translate in different ways into English. It means a spa or health resort, thus reflecting its original meaning, i.e. baths, as in, for example, the Roman Baths in Bath (the word comes from Latin). But for most tourists, it means something which, if one's being strictly accurate, it doesn't in Spanish - a beach bar. So how is that the beach bar is called a balneario?

The answer lies with the growth in popularity of the sea as a means of hydrotherapy in the latter part of the nineteenth century. Balnearios of varying kinds sprang up along the Spanish coasts. They were primarily establishments to facilitate the "taking of the waters", but many served a much wider function. Some were not dissimilar to piers at the British seaside. Others, which were reserved solely for bathing purposes, could be bizarre in the extreme. There is an example of what was like a Moorish palace that was manoeuvred along rails into the sea at San Sebastian. It had various doors out of which the discreet bather could step into the sea, take his or her waters and then return again. The bathing hut was most certainly not the preserve of the prudish Victorian Britons.

There are some magnificent examples of balnearios from the turn of the twentieth century. Alicante specialised in them, or so it would seem. They were called things like the "Diana" or the "Alhambra" and displayed, as with the contraption in San Sebastian, more than a passing acquaintance with Arabic style.

Gradually, balnearios became places that served several functions. As prudishness began to give way and people were more inclined to show off their bodies, to actually do some proper swimming and to indulge in the new fad of sunbathing, so the balnearios catered for different needs. In Miquel Ferra i Martorell's recollection in the "Majorca Daily Bulletin" of the American Bertran Galbraith (24 November last year), he explained how Galbraith became a swimming instructor at a balneario in Palma in the 1920s. The balneario had a solarium for sunbathing and a children's playground. It also staged dances and performances by jazz orchestras. It almost certainly would have also offered some forms of refreshment. The balneario, therefore, came to mean whatever you wanted it to mean, and today it means a place to get a drink or have something to eat: a beach bar whose original meaning has been all but forgotten.

In certain instances, balnearios at Mallorca's resorts have become so much a part of the resort's fabric that they are used as points of reference and as means of location or measuring distance. This is certainly true of Playa de Palma. There are fifteen balnearios in all, and a process of improving them should mean that four - numbers 4, 6, 8 and 10 - will have undergone their improvements by the start of the season. Three million euros are being invested by the company with the concession for the balnearios, Mar de Mallorca, and as part of this investment, the balnearios are to be themed. Yes, theming will no longer be confined to piratising or rocking a hotel, the balnearios of Mallorca are to be given the theming treatment as well.

Actually, this theming is not what it might sound, unless you think that there is a "back to the future" theme going on, because back to the future is pretty much what is happening with some of them in that they are reclaiming their sporting nature - that which was acquired thanks to the likes of Bertran Galbraith - and their role as places for relaxation. Four have been earmarked as "tipo relax". I'm not entirely clear what this entails, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't entail a tipo of relax that is offered by certain establishments most commonly frequented at night time. Other themes will mean that four balnearios will be franchised as, for example, ice-cream parlours or cocktail bars. Three more will be for entertainment and/or the ubiquitous chill-out. Showers, massage, towel hire and safes will all form part of this general upgrade in provision, one which Palma city council believes will lead to the attraction of tourists with greater wealth.

The council may well be right in believing this, but does this represent a move that is totally welcome? I wonder. The beach in Mallorca has become increasingly corporatised. It hasn't been privatised, but the desire to exploit the balnearios (for God's sake, do we really need any more chill-out?) is symptomatic of a somewhat soulless sanitisation of the island's seaside.

But there again, exploitation is not universal. In Playa de Muro they've demolished the most profitable of the resort's balnearios because it obscured the view of the sea. It was a bizarre decision, but, hey, at least Muro's former Balneario 1 won't be turned into a chill-out bar. We can, therefore, be thankful for some things.

* Photo of the machine at San Sebastian comes from http://www.balneariosysalud.com

MALLORCA TODAY - Over thirty bidders for Playa de Muro beach bars

Muro town hall has received bids from over thirty companies to run beach bars in Playa de Muro, some of the "balnearios" attracting several offers, one having attracted only a single tender. Putting out the bars to tender was a decision taken when a previous agreement with a company operated by local hoteliers ran out.

See more: Diario de Mallorca

When Beach Bars Were Beach Bars

Years ago, before industrial quantities of tourists were being flown in so that they could imbibe industrial quantities of industrially adulterated alcohol, Laganas beach on the island of Zante was decidedly pleasant. The beach probably still is, but it now attracts an altogether different reputation and different profile.

But back in the day, there was a line of around half-a-dozen bars (or tavernas, as one would call them as they were Greek) which backed onto the beach. The favoured one was the last one. Run by a couple of mad hippy sorts who had either escaped from The Allman Brothers Band or were Demis Roussos, or both, the bar was about everything you might hope for in a beachside hostelry. It was not exactly efficient, but it played great music - all day - and did an excellent line in salads that tended to differ from what was itemised on the menu, partly, one suspected, because they were put together from behind a plume of marijuana smoke.

Laidback. This was how establishments such as beach bars were meant to be. Are they any longer? Some may be, but many are not, while many more have assumed the contemporary equivalent of laidback, namely "chill". I am disinclined to blame Ibiza's Café del Mar for anything, but if I have to, it was the promotion of chill that nowadays, in a musical style, has assumed the status of muzak. And ubiquitous muzak at that.

This chill omnipotence should not be confused with traditional laidback. The former functions under a contemporary rulebook of design tyranny, at its worst when white fake-leather upholstery is given an airing and a blanketing of sand. Moreover, the "new" beach bar has conformed to a requirement no one originally demanded but now appears to expect, that of efficiency. And it has done so simultaneously with beaches themselves having become both efficient and productive. It is beach life for the unadventurous and hyper-critical consumer-tourist, a McDonalds-isation of standard practice.

Beaches and beach bars once enjoyed a certain spiritual relationship. Nature met un-nature, in the form of the beach bar, but it was un-nature of a natural and unsophisticated style that formed an extension of something that was simply there to be enjoyed. The efficiency of beaches is such that today it goes beyond mere provision by local authorities or commercial operators. The beach is a repository for the contents of Toys 'R' Us, Dixons and Halfords, with rows of delighted occupants of mini-deckchairettes posing for a Kindle advert and those engaged in beach DIY, constructing the most ludicrous object known to man, the beach tent.

The beach bar has been caught up in a po-faced consumerism that requires of beaches that they are organised. Why is there such concern for all the provision? Personally, I can think of only once ever having availed myself of a beach sunbed, and that was on Maspalomas beach in Gran Canaria. When someone turned up and demanded money, a decision was taken to abandon the sunbeds.

The naturalness of beaches and therefore beach bars has been lost in the scramble to make both productive. And beach bars can be good earners, especially for town halls. Best beach destination in Spain, Alcúdia is anticipating increased returns from its beach concessions which include a row of balnearios plonked on the sand, uniformly characterless, as is the case with most beach bars, but was not the case with a non-town hall bar that was deemed illegal and so ended up on the receiving end of a bulldozer.

Given all this, what constitutes a good beach bar? I ask the question because "The Guardian" wants to know. And it is willing to hand over a camera for someone who can come up with the best tips for the best beach bars in Spain. There is something ominous about the blurb that goes with this competition. It says: "Sipping a cocktail or glass of robust red close to the Med - now that's a holiday". Well yes, having a drink at a beach bar is not exactly unusual, but it misses the point, which is - are there any beach bars left which can claim to possess the sort of qualities they once did? Even more ominous is when the paper goes on to use the c-word, "chicest", for which read chill with white fake-leather upholstery.

Maybe there are such bars and maybe there are some in Mallorca. But if so, where are they? If you know of any, do let me know. And if they're run by a couple of mad hippies, even better.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

Paying For Sand: Prices on beaches

How much are you paying for a sunbed? It's one of those questions, on a par with what's the weather like in (add as applicable), that is on the list of the Mallorcan visitor's enquiries.

I confess to not knowing a great deal about the cost of sunbeds. I have never, ever hired one. They are a part of beach life that has passed me by, and I pass them by on the way to finding a piece of soft sand. But the sunbed is important for many. The beach should be comfortable and not be a place where no end of patting the sand down can seem to eliminate the annoying ridge that's sticking into your back.

My knowledge of the subject has, however, increased thanks to the fact that sunbeds have been very much a theme of this Mallorcan summer. They have either not been provided (Puerto Pollensa for a time) or too many have been provided (Can Picafort, before the mayor ordered the removal of excessive numbers).

And I can now thank the local Chamber of Commerce for adding to the body of the sunbed knowledge. It's put out a report and is asking for a harmonisation in pricing in the different resorts, differences in which can be as great as five euros for a bed and a shade combination. The average price is 7.6 euros.

The cost of sunbeds has increased markedly since the turn of the century. One reason for this has been an increase in the tax charged by town halls. It's a simple equation: the higher the tax, the higher the price.

The beach operators, however, have other costs to take into account, such as those for the sunbeds and parasols themselves, which are often meant to comply with certain specifications. For example, some of the parasols in Pollensa have not been of the required reed material, which has added to what has become an annual controversy in respect of beach provision.

With the tax that has to be paid and all the other costs, it is perhaps unsurprising that you got a situation such as that in Can Picafort where the operator was exceeding the number of sunbeds by some 550. It's all about profitability, after all. Nevertheless, Can Picafort is one resort where the cost is said to be reasonable.

The differing costs to the operators and the differing prices they charge mean that the overall annual benefits to operators also vary. The report suggests that in Felanitx (by which I guess it means Portocolom) the return is just under five hundred euros a unit, way higher than in Manacor (92 euros).

Sunbeds aren't the only elements of beach life that come with a price. Some come with a pretty significant one. Well, would you pay 50 euros for 20 minutes on a jetski? Maybe you would. Less expensive though and also more sedate are pedaloes. Average going rate 11.7 euros, says the report. But it can be nine euros or it can be 15 (Alcúdia). What you win on lower sunbed prices in Alcúdia, you lose on a pedalo.

And what about the beach bars? The "chiringuitos" and "balnearios". They too are subject to varying taxes according to resort, and so charge accordingly.

Last year, before the season had even properly started, I was being told about the fact that the beach bar prices were too high. An example was given in respect of Swedish tourists to Alcúdia who now found a "pint" in a beach bar to be roughly the equivalent of that back in Sweden, a country hardly known for its cheap alcohol.

But when the chiringuitos are being taxed in the way they are, the prices start to become understandable. They have to pay the town halls, the inland revenue and the concessionaire who actually runs the beach bars.

The town halls make a mint out of their beaches. If they have a number of them and/or they have large beaches with high occupancy by tourists, then they are quids in. One of the largest beaches is that in Alcúdia, and the town hall here rakes in the most of any town hall from its beaches, more so than Palma: nearly three and a half million euros. Even Pollensa, with smaller beaches, can outstrip even Calvia when it comes to its revenue: around a million less than Alcúdia.

There's money to be made from sand. But you know, the beach should be simple. Take a towel and lie on the sand, forget about the pedalo, pack your own drinks and snacks. And then there soon wouldn't be money to be made.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

Plastic Beach: Alcúdia's beach bars

The beach bars of Alcúdia are to become smaller. The Costas' authority, the guardian warriors of beaches and anything else it can lay its legislative hands on, has said that the bars must be no bigger than 150 square metres. Some are bigger. Loss of size will probably mean loss of interior seating, which shouldn't necessarily be a negative for those who prefer to sit outside. But it could still mean another loss - of earnings. A few square metres here or there. Do they really matter? Alcúdia has a lot of beach. The bars do not exactly make a difference in terms of how many people can pack themselves in on the sand.

The reduction in size of the beach bars is one change. Another is to be the look and materials. The wooden balnearios are to be replaced with those made of concrete (and glass). This, apparently, is a law, one dreamt up by the Costas.

There is something distinctly odd about this. Firstly, there is the fact that there any permanent structures on the beach at all. The beach bars have a special dispensation to be there, which didn't stop them tearing down the Café Playero, which wasn't even on the beach. Secondly, there is the visual element. Is wood not a bit more appealing than concrete? You might have thought so. You might also have thought that wooden structures appeal more to a romantic sense of what the beach should be - any beach, not just Alcúdia's. Concrete? It seems to fly in the face not only of the Costas' own remit but also of what a tourist might actually wish to encounter.

Nevertheless, there may well be a practical side to this. Wood is not the most practical material to be let anywhere near a coastline. It rots, it warps, it expands, it contracts. Damp air and salt are not friends to wood, be it for shutters, gates, doors, whatever. Increasingly, one sees wooden shutters that have been replaced with alumunium. Steel roller shutters are becoming more popular. They may not look as attractive as wood, but they are considerably more sensible and more secure, and they are also more attractive than wood that has become scarred, chipped, broken and bent.

So the replacement of the wooden beach bars with concrete ones may also be sensible. Yet the stipulation for these new bars also covers the colour. They are to be white-washed. White. White, which discolours so easily. White, which may look brilliant when it is new but soon fades and looks anything other than brilliant. Why white? Here we seem to have another example of the trend towards neutrality of colour on the landscape. Could they not be more in keeping with the beach? Sand-coloured, brown like the wooden ones, blues or yellows.

Smaller beach bars. The size may not be that important. But white concrete ones? Could be worse; could be plastic. Now there's an idea - plastic beach bars; even the Costas wouldn't sanction that. Whatever. At least, rather than white, put some colour back into the beach.


QUIZ:
Right up to date. Plastic Beach. Who?

Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.