Seven Drunken Nights

Almost two years ago the Balearics health ministry issued a report into the drinking and nightlife habits of tourists. The study discovered that the great majority of British and German visitors went out to bars or nightclubs five or more times while they were on holiday. Why the findings should have come as anything remotely surprising was baffling, but the ministry took it as a sure sign of alcohol and drug abuse among tourists, and not just youthful tourists. The ministry set in motion, or said that it was going to set in motion, a number of measures to combat drinking and to address the "quality" of nightlife.

Two years on and the same ministry wants to tackle a negative image of drunkenness that exists in tourism areas. To this end, it has held meetings with something called the Platform for Quality Night-time Entertainment. Between the study's publication and the latest health ministry initiative, a term has become generally adopted, that of "drunken tourism", as though such a phenomenon hadn't previously existed. But the publicity given to the eureka new discovery of this phenomenon appears to have spurred the ministry into greater action than its report did.

A lengthy document, the report stretched to 134 pages and didn't just consider drinking among tourists, it also looked at drinking among the local youth.

Together with a further report, also in 2010, from the UK alcohol charity Drinkaware that compared alcohol abuse among British and Spanish teenagers, it totally shattered the myth of attitudes towards drink among Mallorcan and Spanish youth. Both did an enormous service, if only to refute the blindness of many Britons (tourists and residents) who are unable or unwilling to remove their opaque rose-tinted sunglasses and to realise that the alcohol problem is every bit as great in Mallorca as it is in the UK.

It has been this same problem elsewhere that has led to the formation of "platforms", such as the one now in the Balearics. Tarragona set one up at the end of 2008, the result of collaboration between the council, businesses and youth groups. Partly educative, it has also sought to establish a kind of standard of "quality".

It is difficult, however, to know what quality means, other than not getting drunk. In Mallorca, it is pretty obvious what the health ministry would hope that it meant. Go to that part of the report that deals with Calvià (as an example) and a comparison, a totally obvious comparison, is made between Magalluf and Santa Ponsa on the one hand and Peguera and Portals Nous on the other. If everywhere were like Portals, then not only would a problem not exist, quality would be blinging and posing in every night-time establishment across the island. Not everywhere is like Portals, however.

In practical terms, it is hard to see what can be achieved, especially where tourists are concerned. A youth theatre group of the type established in Tarragona might mean something to the native clubbing youth of the Costa Dorada (though even this might be questionable), but it will mean nothing at all to tourists; indeed something similar in some tourism centres in Mallorca would be like a red rag to a very drunken bull. How would a bunch of lads on tour react to a theatrical attempt to educate as to the dangers of drink and drugs at three in the morning?

The health ministry can bang on all it likes about night-time quality and about improving a negative image, but what does it propose doing about the tour operators, such as First Choice and its 2wentys operation? "Serious party antics with bar crawls, booze cruises and more," as I quoted from its website last August. And it isn't just the youth market. Most certainly not.

The partial beautification of Magalluf might reduce problems in the resort, but even this isn't guaranteed; you can get four-star drunkenness just as you can three-star. And Magalluf is far from being the only flash point. As the 2010 report made clear, you can also take your pick from Arenal, Santa Ponsa, Alcúdia, Pollensa and Cala Ratjada and even Porto Cristo, though, like Pollensa, the issue there is more one of locals rather than tourists.

Drunken tourism is not likely to go away just because the hotels are improved or because the health ministry wants it to. Drinking and tourism have long gone together, and for some tourists it is the case, regardless of where they go and what age they are, that seven nights holiday means seven drunken nights.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.