If Mallorca's Tourism Was Like Football

Rather like no one believes the beleaguered football team manager (and a manager is always "beleaguered" when under pressure) when he fronts up before the camera and states that the lads in the dressing-room are all pulling together, so no one believes politicians when they claim that there are no splits or divisions in the ranks.

For once, it isn't the island's great leader, the president, who is beleaguered. It is instead the island's tourism minister, Carlos Delgado. The mercurial, the enigmatic Delgado seems to have lost the dressing-room of the tourism law.

The challenges to the guvnor's authority have been coming in both fast and furious; heavy, two-footed lunges from the defenders of institutional and municipal authority and responsibility. They are all part of the democratic nature of the process of finalising the law, suggests the boss. The lads can have their say, but I'm still the guvnor. We can anticipate a vote of confidence from chairman Bauzá being issued soon from the Consolat de Mar boardroom.

There are no splits in the PP dressing-room, says Delgado. But if not, then where had he been for a few weeks? Had he been diplomatically manoeuvred into the background while all the flak was flying? Not so, unless medical treatment can be considered diplomatic, as at the end of last year he had to go in for an operation on his back. Had someone stabbed him in it?

But what of the gathering at Bellver Castle of the various worthies who have formed Palma's premier league tourism foundation and who chose the castle as the venue to launch it? There was no ashen-faced Delgado to be seen anywhere. Surely this was indeed evidence of a split. Palma's mayor Mateo Isern had thought he was going to turn up, but he didn't.

No, this was also not indicative of any division. The non-appearance was due to getting back on the training ground after that incident with the knife. The guv was hard at work on tactics and moving the players around on his Subbuteo pitch as he figured out how they would all slot in once he had taken account of the democratic nature of the tourism law transfer window period.

Fully restored, manager Delgado has taken himself off to the Spanish tourism championship tournament in Madrid, otherwise known as the Fitur tourism fair. He was there for the presentation of the teams to Crown Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia. But his presence hasn't stopped the murmurings. Joey Bartons of the PP have been tweeting that not all is right in the camp and especially between the guv and the Palma premier league of Isern.

Why might they have fallen out? Could it be that Delgado sees the Palma tourism foundation as a threat to the hegemony of his tourism FA? Sees it as an upstart big-city club creaming off tourism promotion funds from major sponsors when the FA has to get by with promotional scraps from the government?

Not to be outdone, Delgado has unveiled some new players at the Fitur championship. Well, newish. He's been meeting with the Abramoviches of Spanish tourism, the Russian tour operators. And he's planning on a scouting trip to Moscow in March in search of even more faces to add to the Mallorcan and Balearics squad. Aware of what chairman Bauzá has said at Fitur regarding tourism being the locomotive of economic recovery, the guv is looking to pack his side with Russian and Ukrainian midfield dynamos, be they from Lokomotiv Moscow, Dynamo Kiev or wherever. The PP Joey Bartons had better watch out.

Results are all that counts though, and while manager Delgado can count on the Brits and the Germans to be packing the terraces once more this year, he knows that tourism is a game of two halves: the season and the off-season. Can he ever get the lads to perform in the off-season? In summer, when they cross the white line, any divisions in the dressing-room can be set aside.

He hopes that the tourism law might mean a change to the long ball and a longer season, but can he take the lads with him? Chairman Bauzá will be wanting him to, as he has his own divisions to worry about away from the pitch. But if the fans' clamour for Delgado grows so loud he can't ignore them, there's one replacement he won't be offering the job to - the one-time Real Mallorca defender Pastor and currently manager of Manacor. He doesn't need any more heavy, two-footed lunges from defenders to have to contend with.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.