Love Is In The Air

"I'm getting married in the morning, ding-dong the karaoke's gonna chime."

Ah yes, the Mallorcan wedding. One of the oddest things that crops up both in my inbox and elsewhere is the advice on getting tied here. Well maybe it's not odd, as such, just I am surprised by the regularity with which marriage in Mallorca registers - so to speak. Accordingly, I am going to be completely useless at imparting good info as I am totally confused as to the deal with getting hitched if you don't happen to be a resident or a Spaniard. I thought that you had to be a resident to actually have a religious wedding or that you could have (if not resident) a form of blessing were you already married. Whatever. If someone actually knows the lowdown, I would be very appreciative if you could give me the definitive line.

But this is largely by the bye, as I am reliably informed, by the bar-owner himself, so it is beyond doubt, that more or less everyone who passes through the portals of Vamps in Puerto Alcúdia ends up proposing marriage. Well no, not to Les (at least I don't think so), but to someone else. Actually, it isn't everyone (I made that up), but never let a touch of exaggeration spoil a good story. Quite what it is about Vamps that sets its punters down the road to the aisle I'm not sure. Perhaps it's the optical illusion thing there behind the bar. And so, next morning in the cold light of the hangover, it's a case of having been down on one knee to what was a thing of beauty through the haze of an adrenaline cocktail, but which turns out to be the garbage container at the back of the Astoria Playa hotel. But maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps love is truly in the air off The Mile, as opposed to the waft of curry emanating from Taste of India.

On having all this related to me, I had this image of the Reverend Les presiding over the congregation to a karaoke accompaniment, one that I duly informed Les of, to which he responded that, rather than "dearly beloved", those in the pews (or on bar stools in this instance) would be addressed as "dearly bedraggled", and I shall genuflect with due acknowledgement in face of a bar-owner knowing better than myself the demeanour of his clientele.

It just so happens that I recently received an email asking for advice as to somewhere nice "outside" for getting married - in Alcúdia that is. I duly suggested the likes of La Terraza overlooking the sea at Alcanada or perhaps the square in front of the Sant Jaume church (always assuming the good burghers of Alcúdia would countenance such a thing). What I hadn't considered, till now, was next to the pool table on the Vamps terrace, a tattoo for the groom next door at the tattoo studio while he waits for his bride and a tikka masala wedding breakfast for all at the Indian. So, next time I get asked about a good spot for tying the knot ... .


QUIZ
Yesterday's chain - Springsteen to "Philadelphia" to Tom Hanks to Woody in "Toy Story" and therefore Buzz Lightyear. Easy. And from Buzz to Paul Simon? And today's title - who?

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