The Weever's Tale And The Drowning Man

A common theme of most Mallorcan summers has been conspicuous by its absence this year. Jellyfish. "Plagues" or threats of plagues have not materialised, for which we should all be grateful. The absence of any biblical style invasions of the "medusa" and the resultant absence of their reporting by the media may explain why an attack by a different nasty of the waters merited some column inches. A German woman was stung by a weever fish in Peguera the other day. At first, I thought I was going to be reading that she had been killed. Thankfully, this wasn't the case, but quite why it was necessary to report a weever-fish attack I honestly can't say. Maybe it's still the silly and a very slow news season.

It's not as though there aren't other weever-fish incidents. A former neighbour of mine was stung close to the shore in Playa de Muro three summers ago. It was, in his words, indescribably painful. Actually, given that he is French, these weren't his words, but they amounted to the same. The sting required a trip to the hospital, but this was as much precautionary as really necessary.

Fatality by fish is extremely rare. In 1998 there was a death, that of a British teenager swimming off Cala Blava. The cause was something of a mystery, but it was almost certainly as the result of an acute allergic reaction to being stung by a "spider fish", which is how the weever is known locally ("pez araña").

The waters around Mallorca don't hold great terrors, but they claim lives every year. In the Balearics as a whole, eighteen people have drowned so far this summer, one more than in 2010. Playa de Muro, for some reason, seems to attract more than its fair share of drownings. Over the space of ten days at the end of August there were three fatalities.

It is not as though there is anything dangerous about the sea off Playa de Muro. The water is shallow, and the sea only becomes potentially risky with an undertow or the wrong sort of wind. Even then, it can't really be described as dangerous, no more so than any other shallow water subject to the same conditions. A common link in the three drownings was that of age; each swimmer was over 60 years old. The emergency services (by which one primarily means the Cruz Roja, the Red Cross) attributed the drownings to cardiac failure. Around 70% of all drownings in the Balearics are of people over the age of 60.

Advice on keeping safe when swimming includes not swimming alone, not swimming when there are no lifeguards on duty, i.e. too early in the morning, too late in the evening or at night, and even taking care if there are too many people in the water; it can be more difficult for a lifeguard to detect a swimmer in trouble when the sea is packed.

The advice is sound enough but is easily and temptingly ignored. Of the drownings that have occurred, the circumstances have not generally been exceptional. One of the drownings in Muro, for example, occurred at 3.30 on a Sunday afternoon. Maybe there were a lot of people in the water, but who considers this when going for a swim? Unfortunately, unfortunate things happen.

Indeed, the emergency services reckon that incidences of "reckless" swimming are on the decline. By reckless, one presumes they mean ignoring red flags, though it is not entirely clear, as it is also not entirely clear what Muro town hall means when it says that reckless swimmers will be fined.

Presumably not reckless, albeit she was swimming solo, was Teresa Planas who has just completed the 40-kilometre crossing between Menorca and Mallorca in under 14 hours. It's as well that's she has completed it, as the sea between the two islands is where the risk of the phenomenon of the meteotsunami ("rissaga") is at its greatest, and as the autumn equinox approaches, so the risk increases.

The sea and the beach come with very few risks. Drownings are generally unavoidable if they are the result of a health malfunction. Treading on weever fish is hard to avoid. But there is one risk and one example of, if you like, recklessness that can be avoided. That is the beach at night. The sea may not be risky, unless you've gone skinny dipping on a tankful, but if you have gone skinny dipping, you may not find everything as you left it. Even if you keep your clothes on and just go for a walk, there is a risk. It's best avoided.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

You Have A Cup Of Coffee

Oh no, here we go again. Hot on the heels of the piece of two days, another letter complaining about prices. One grows tired of this litany of expensive woe, especially when it's so skewed. Up pops someone else in "The Bulletin", this time using the price of a coffee as the stick with which to beat the cost of Mallorca. How much? 3.50 euros. 3.50 euros? Where the hell have they been taking a coffee? It can be the case that some restaurants will charge excessive amounts for the likes of a coffee, but they are usually expensive restaurants anyway. The solution is to go somewhere else, or take a post-prandial stroll to a café or bar where the coffee will be, typically, 1.50 (you can indeed pay less). Or maybe this was a special type of coffee, who knows? And that's just the problem, you never know. You never know which restaurant or bar, you don't necessarily know where it is. I daresay that in the high- and well-heeled boutique bars of Deía or Portals you can cop a big'n for one with milk. Doesn't mean to say that you pay it everywhere, and you don't. Of course you don't. So why say it? You know, I might write a letter, say I was charged five euros for a coffee. No, make that a tenner. And then I'll demand that the authorities do something about it all before the tourism apocalypse occurs. And of course I won't say where this tenner was charged, because it was all a fabrication. Can we please just give this all a rest, as it is, yes really is, rather tiresome.


Not the year of the jellyfish
Been stung by a jellyfish this year? Chances are you haven't been. According to the "Cruz Roja", its lifeguards and staff have had to attend to a mere 3,221 bathers in the Balearics who have been on the wrong end of a jellyfish tentacle. Sounds a lot? Not really. In 2008 the number was 13,767, while in 2006 - the year of the plague - it was almost double that figure at over 26 thousand. Ibiza is the place you need to go to be more likely to be stung; the number of victims there is not far off a half of that 3000 plus total for this year. Given that more people go to Mallorca than to Ibiza or Menorca, it is perhaps surprising that the fewest numbers of stings are recorded on the biggest of the islands. Or maybe the Cruz Roja doesn't patrol that many beaches in Mallorca. Anyway, it's all rather encouraging. Perhaps the winds have just been in the wrong direction and have blown the sea and the devils away. But don't get too complacent, there have, in Mallorca, been nearly 270 people stung by fishes, most obviously the weever fish. My neighbour for example. "Merde", said he when his foot expanded and he had to head off to Muro General. Well, he is French, so he would say that.


QUIZ
Yesterday's title - "Farmer's Song", Neil Young, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxBgWTi4zIY. Today's title - the first line of a song by one of the best of the West Coast rock bands emanating from the '60s. Abracadabra.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)

The Deathly Shallows

And now we start to make the news. Remember the piece about the side road in Puerto Alcúdia; it being a potential death-trap (14 July, “The Bitter Sting Of Tears”). There it is - in a rather different form - in the current “Euro Weekly”. No, no, they haven’t nabbed it. Nothing like that. They were sent it. A combination of my words, Karen at Foxes’ instigation and John’s camera. The only slight problem is the headline, “Accident Waiting To Happen For Cyclists”. Well, yes, cyclists could have an accident, but it was more to do with a car going too fast and smacking into an inattentive tourist. But, no matter, at least it’s there.

There I was talking yesterday about the non-jellyfish alert, and now there is a rather more ominous marine threat. Courtesy of another piece in “Euro Weekly”, it seems that the weever fish, a really nasty bit of work, is making its presence known near Mallorca’s beaches. While this most unpleasant chap is not uncommon, his numbers are up, as are the number of stings, and the fish has been reported in Alcúdia Bay and off Son Serra de Marina.

As the weever hides in the sand, often in shallow water by the water's edge, it might well be worth taking the precaution of wearing something on the feet. Flip-flops would probably not be sufficient, but something like those shoes with the quite thick, airy soles and the holes over the top of the foot (that everyone’s wearing this year) could do the trick. Anyway, watch out, weever’s about!


Quiz. A carabela was a three-masted sailing ship from the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries. Columbus used carabelas. Misunderstood? ‘Twas The Animals, for which Geoff was very grateful!! Today’s title? Everyone must know where this is taken from and adapted.

And given this burst of carabela stuff, here’s another RESTAURANT OF THE WEEK. It is ... STEAK HOUSE CARABELA

Where: Avenida Reina Sofia, Puerto Alcúdia, opposite the Carabela Apartments.

What: Alcúdia’s best barbecue (well, that’s what the publicity says). Chateaubriand. Very generous portions.

When: Every day.

Who: Tomas is the top man here. José and Julie, also to be found at Nova Marina, are the owners.

Why: Excellent location for hotels like the Vivas Tropic and Golf, Alcudia Garden and Coral de Mar. Just over from the beach. Good-sized terrace.


And finally, I am indebted to Alastair who, given the combination of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore and Stingray on these pages these past days, mailed me a youtube. Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua_wCMywEM0. Cut and paste to see the classic sketch that took the mick out of Thunderbirds.

(PLEASE REPLY TO andrew@thealcudiaguide.com AND NOT VIA THE COMMENTS THINGY HERE.)