See No Evil, Hear No Evil: Problems in paradise

The other day I was driving past Hidropark. Two local police officers were involved with a woman. I suspect I know why. In the past I have seen local police officers involved with other women. Around the Mile for example. The flower-lady pickpockets. They exist in many parts of Mallorca. They have existed for years in Alcúdia, but Alcúdia doesn't have the same scale of problems that other resorts do. It is neither Magalluf nor Playa de Palma. It isn't even Cala Rajada.

Last year there were any number of complaints in Cala Rajada about the drunkenness and antics of young German tourists. Cala Rajada doesn't usually rank highly in the "dark summer" league table, principally because it has fewer tourists than the Big Two, which vie with each other for dark summer champion dominance, and because it doesn't have the same history of summer darkness. But it is in the league nevertheless, as is Alcúdia.

And so even is nice, quiet, genteel Puerto Pollensa. It has its massage girls and its lookies. It has the local police and the Guardia meeting with the government delegate to the Balearics to discuss operations this summer to combat, among other things, the "venta ambulante" on the beaches. Another resort that is comparatively lowly placed in the summer darkness league table is Playa de Muro, heading ever more to the promised land of five stars and Russian tourism but, as was reported last year, plagued by similar problems to those on the beaches of Puerto Pollensa. 

I am not intimately familiar with every resort of any great size in Mallorca, but I would guess that every resort has similar issues to contend with. It is easy to single out the Big Two and brand them league leaders, but it is an ease that comes partly because of a longer history of problems, partly because of sheer numbers, partly because of a particular type of tourism.

Yet, as the complaints in Cala Rajada revealed last year, Playa de Palma is not the only resort where younger Germans congregate; those with lower net worth but with an abundance of Red Bull-fuelled energy to be spent on getting blind drunk.

"Bild" really has done everyone a favour. There are of course the deniers, but finally the message may just be getting through. It is revealing that, while the immediate aftermath of the "Bild" dark summer splash brought about the inevitable placing of fingers in the ears - "la la la, I can't hear you" - the ears, along with the heads, have now risen out of the sand and blinked through the formerly rose-tinted sunglasses of a looky-looky man and seen that paradise has been lost. 

For too long, the denial has been predicated on a paradisical blindness and deafness to see no evil and hear no evil. This blunting of senses, invaded only periodically and temporarily by the sight of blood and vomit on the streets and the wails of police and ambulance sirens, has induced a quasi-utopian world view, one stripped of a cognitive appreciation that a certain dystopia may exist. It has further induced the disbelief that the voracious Hannibal Lecters of a pap-sensation-seeking media can firstly exist and secondly lead lambs to the slaughter in the way they did in Magalluf.

A prescription for troubles in Playa de Palma is that the tourist profile needs to change. Get rid of the low-cost, low-net-worth, low-20s lumpendrunkenproletariat and all the problems will disappear. Like prostitutes. Really? Replace it with high-cost, high-net-worth, high-40s or 50s and the mugging whores may disappear, but in their place might well come the high-class hookers, hanging around the bars of the newly five-starred Playa de Palma. They would have no need to nick a mobile. Need a new iPhone? Your place or mine?

Tourism attracts crime. This is an unfortunate fact of life. Tourism attracts different types of tourist. This is a fact of tourism life. How does a resort remove its less desirable tourist elements? It doesn't, unless the tour operators remove them and unless local businesses refuse to pander to them.

Problems in the resorts can be both overstated and understated, but they cannot be dismissed. And nor can they be treated by indulging in blame games. There are those who should be exempt from blame. Local police forces, the Guardia, the emergency services; they are the heroes not the villains. They work according to their resources, according to constraints and according to political inertia, business priorities and an historical blindness and deafness - see no evil, hear no evil.


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.

MALLORCA TODAY - Balcony-fall death in Cala Rajada

Well, you know the tourism season's back when the balcony accidents start again. The Guardia are investigating the circumstances surrounding the death of a 35-year-old German man who who died this morning after falling from a hotel balcony in Cala Rajada.

See more: Ultima Hora

MALLORCA TODAY - Pollensa and Cala Rajada fishermen stung by fee demands

Fishermen in the ports of Pollensa and Cala Rajada who normally pay fees for use of facilities at the end of the year are faced with demands from the Balearics Ports Authority for immediate payment in respect of the second quarter.

See more: Ultima Hora

MALLORCA TODAY - Fines to tackle Cala Rajada's poor image

The growing concerns regarding the poor image of Cala Rajada caused by tourist anti-social behaviour have been met with a by-law issued by Capdepera town hall that will institute fines of up to 3000 euros. These fines will apply to residents as well, and measures taken by the town hall include a ban on drinking alcohol in public places.

See more: Ultima Hora

MALLORCA TODAY - Cala Rajada residents angered by youthful tourist behaviour

It isn't just Magalluf or Playa de Palma where there can be behaviour which upsets local residents and which causes trouble. Cala Rajada is also affected and the PSM-Entesa has called for urgent action to be taken to deal with drunkenness in an area of the resort known for its nightlife.

See more: Ultima Hora

MALLORCA TODAY - Opinion divided on Cala Rajada gay promotion

The second Mr Gay Pride España contest being celebrated in Cala Rajada tonight (how can they stage this when Eurovision is on?), opinion is divided as to whether the resort should be promoted as a gay destination. While opinion is in favour of gay and lesbian tourists, it is the promotion and therefore reputation that some residents are worried about.

See more: Diario de Mallorca

A Bigger Splash: Mallorca's gay tourism

Do you remember the days of Miss World when it was an annual telly feast, Michael Aspel attempting to tease out nuggets of wisdom from Miss Wants To Travel And Have World Peace of whichever country it was? For some reason, the BBC decided it no longer wanted 30 million viewers, and so Miss World went peripatetic, guided as if by a FIFA of global female pageantry, finding its way to different continents and, in the process, giving a major boost to tourism in the city of Sanya in China, which has hosted the contest five times this century.

Beauty contests and tourism. It had never occurred to me that Miss World might be a positive factor in increasing tourism, but then why not? If the Olympics, a World Cup or even Eurovision can be, then so can a beauty parade that is beamed across the globe. Maybe Mallorca should try and get in on the act and put the Palacio de Congresos in Palma (when it's finally built) to some meaningful purpose and stage "beauty with a purpose" (as the Miss World slogan has it).

They may not be Miss World, but there are beauty contests in Mallorca. Angela Flores is the current holder of the Miss Balearics title, and in May the second Mr Gay Mallorca will be held in Cala Rajada. David Vilches was last year's winner and he went forward to the grand final of Mr Gay España in Madrid where he lost out to Mr Gay Murcia.

Not content with hoovering up whatever football prizes may be on offer, Spain has a highly creditable reputation when it comes to the European gay crown, having scooped the Mr Gay Europe award in successive years (2008 and 2009). So, aspirants to the Mallorca title in May will know that greater riches await if they can get through the provincial and national qualifiers.

But what of the tourism angle? Capdepera town hall representatives and the organisers of Mr Gay Mallorca have been at the Fitur tourism trade fair in Madrid, promoting the event in the Cala Rajada resort and explaining that lesbian and gay tourism is one of "quality" and that it adds value to the town. Lesbian and gay people can no doubt feel reassured that they are considered to be "quality"; in other words, they've got a fair amount of spare cash to splash.

Would the event really create more by way of tourism and more by way of tourism from a gay niche market for Cala Rajada? Possibly it might, but Cala Rajada isn't Sanya in China and Mr Gay Mallorca isn't Miss World. Neither have quite the same exposure or recognition. The first contest last year did, after all, attract only eight contestants; it wasn't exactly a massive deal.

In terms of creating awareness of the resort, there is probably some benefit, but a one-off event at the end of May doesn't equate to Cala Rajada becoming or being a gay hotspot. I might be wrong, but I would have thought that gay tourists would prefer somewhere with more of a, how can one put it, gay infrastructure. Palma perhaps, or more obviously Ibiza.

Part of the problem for Cala Rajada and for Mallorca as a whole is one of image. In general terms, Mallorca is looked upon as being essentially a "family" tourism destination. Not exclusively of course, but an alternative type of tourism, that attracted by the club scene, tends to be confined to Palma and to Magalluf. I'm not suggesting that all that gay tourists want are clubs, but clubs certainly are an attraction. And Ibiza has far more of a reputation in this respect than Mallorca and specifically Cala Rajada.

Going after the pink pound or euro is fair enough, but as with attempts to attract other new markets, there is the familiar problem of promotion being geared firmly towards the sun-and-beach family tourist. It is a further example of nibbling away at niche markets without the benefit of having created the appropriate impression in the minds of potential tourists or, in the case of gay tourism to a place such as Cala Rajada, of having the type of offer that might make it appealing for more than one evening in May.

Mr Gay Mallorca may put Cala Rajada momentarily on the gay map, it may make a very minor splash in terms of attracting the quality gay tourist with the cash to splash, but let's be honest, if it were a toss-up between Mr Gay Mallorca and Miss World, which would make the bigger tourism splash?


Any comments to andrew@thealcudiaguide.com please.